Battle Cry of the Tiger Mother

[SWTXBelle]

Haven't yet read it - have any of you? What think ye?

[33girl]

If I hear that phrase one more time I'll scream. LOL.

[Drolefille]

Not planning on reading it, I think it's been so thoroughly discussed in the forums I read and on NPR that I'm out of thoughts on it.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Not planning on reading it, I think it's been so thoroughly discussed in the forums I read and on NPR that I'm out of thoughts on it.

I've proably heard the same programs you have, Drole. I don't want to really form an opinion without reading it, but my gut is NOOOOOOOO!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I've proably heard the same programs you have, Drole. I don't want to really form an opinion without reading it, but my gut is NOOOOOOOO!

My thoughts are complex. Overall it's probably no big deal, not in the long run, but it also sounds like some of her actions rise to the level of abuse. Honestly I'd be surprised if every parent didn't cock up royally at times, but still she's proud of it. And then there's the issue of stereotyping her experiences as 'Chinese' compared to 'Western' where in reality she's 'strict' and dislikes 'permissive' parenting. All 'western' parents aren't permissive just as all Chinese parents aren't strict.


And that's without reading it. Which I don't intend to

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

My thoughts are complex. Overall it's probably no big deal, not in the long run, but it also sounds like some of her actions rise to the level of abuse. Honestly I'd be surprised if every parent didn't cock up royally at times, but still she's proud of it. And then there's the issue of stereotyping her experiences as 'Chinese' compared to 'Western' where in reality she's 'strict' and dislikes 'permissive' parenting. All 'western' parents aren't permissive just as all Chinese parents aren't strict.


And that's without reading it. Which I don't intend to

Exactly. If my upbringing was permissive, I'd hate to see what's strict. Also, you have to take past vs. present into account and ethnic differences into account, which still play a role in America.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

Exactly. If my upbringing was permissive, I'd hate to see what's strict. Also, you have to take past vs. present into account and ethnic differences into account, which still play a role in America.

Precisely, though even then I wouldn't characterize X parenting as ETHNIC!Style. As a white person, not really my place, but the complaints about characterizing this model as CHINESE!Parenting come from within the Asian-American and Chinese-American community as well.

So ultimately I'm just kind of "eh" about the topic since I'm not a parent and don't intend to be.

[Senusret I]

I want to punch the author.

[ellebud]

On a different site there is a thread called Donkey Parents. Donkey parents are those who brought/purchased the oranges and granola bars, the fundraisers, the parents who volunteered to help....everyone. (nothing ethnic or racial inferred just general parents of all backgrounds). On that same site...a number of years ago a kid started a thread called My Crazy Asian Parents. It alternated between funny/sad/pathetic/generous. My favorite? A kid who was accepted to all the Ivys save one: his parents travelled to the university and went to Admissions demanding to know why their child was rejected.

Maybe some parents might go to a sorority to demand to know why little Susie got invited back to every house...except one. WHY?

[MysticCat]

I haven't read it (and don't plan to), but I thought David Brooks column on it -- Amy Chua is a Wimp -- was awesome. An excerpt:

Her critics echoed the familiar themes. Her kids can’t possibly be happy or truly creative. They’ll grow up skilled and compliant but without the audacity to be great. She’s destroying their love for music. There’s a reason Asian-American women between the ages of 15 and 24 have such high suicide rates.

I have the opposite problem with Chua. I believe she’s coddling her children. She’s protecting them from the most intellectually demanding activities because she doesn’t understand what’s cognitively difficult and what isn’t.

Practicing a piece of music for four hours requires focused attention, but it is nowhere near as cognitively demanding as a sleepover with 14-year-old girls. Managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics, understanding social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group — these and other social tests impose cognitive demands that blow away any intense tutoring session or a class at Yale.

[ellebud]

In the same vein: Chris Erskine in the Los Angeles Times wrote a column. In essence he said that childhood is a one shot deal. It should be filled with joy and skinned knees and friends. Absolutely.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I haven't read it (and don't plan to), but I thought David Brooks column on it -- Amy Chua is a Wimp -- was awesome. An excerpt:

Practicing a piece of music for four hours requires focused attention, but it is nowhere near as cognitively demanding as a sleepover with 14-year-old girls. Managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics, understanding social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group — these and other social tests impose cognitive demands that blow away any intense tutoring session or a class at Yale.[/INDENT]

MysticCat thank you for this. I'm giving a presentation/training next week on the complexities of assessing pragmatic language. I am going to include this (with credit to Brooks, of course).

[33girl]

I think the David Brooks column is kind of along the lines of people who say they were physically abused and found that easier to get immune to/get over than psychological abuse. Not that I'm saying anyone involved advocates either kind, I just sort of see the parallel. I think he's absolutely right.

But on another sarcastic note, yay for resurrecting a stereotype that was finally starting to fade somewhat. Good job heffa.