Mothers and Daughters

mmc · #1 08-07-2008, 01:06 PM

In a few weeks, I begin fall rush and I am sooooo excited! I have been addicted to greekchat and found a lot of great stuff, so thank you!

But I have a question in regards to legacy (and i promise i've searched). My Mom is an alum of sorority XYZ at my university (lets say "College University"), and although I would love to be a member of XYZ, I would like to keep my options open.

I have read some threads that suggest mentioning to the actives that your family members are Greek, but not to mention which sorority they were a part of. I believe the post said something along the lines of "it shows the actives that you know a little more about greek life than the average PNM" since your family members were involved. Since we both went/go to College University, I tend to think saying she went there would be a plus because the sisters know I understand the value of College University's sisterhood, and have been directly exposed to it.

Here's the dilemma: I dont want the actives to think that just because my mom was an XYZ at College University means that I will also go XYZ at College University and then cut me. I dont want the girls in other sororitys to think that I am not interested in them because I am a VERY direct legacy of another chapter.

Thoughts?

KSUViolet06 · #2 08-07-2008, 01:41 PM

I personally wouldn't mention during a recruitment party that you're a legacy (since I doubt that someone is going to ask you outright if you are).

Putting it on your recruitment application is a different story. It really depends on where you go to school. For example, listing legacy status at my school didn't mean a whole lot to other chapters, while at a more competitive school, it may cause other chapters to cut you (like you described).

epchick · #3 08-07-2008, 01:41 PM

First, I hope you meant greekchat, instead of "girlchat."

Second, a lot of times it is easier to search Greekchat through Google's advanced search (where you put greekchat.com as the domain to search in).

If you do that, then you get the information you want.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh....php?p=1339205

violetpretty · #4 08-07-2008, 01:47 PM

Recs are important at College University. Did you get recs? If so, did you tell your rec writers about your legacy status? If so, the "damage" may already be done, and all you can do is emphasize that you want to keep an open mind.

ZTAmillz · #5 08-07-2008, 02:02 PM

It really depends on the school. Legacy status, especially chapter legacies is pretty important at our school, although it doesnt always mean that the daughter will go where Mom went.

gee_ess · #6 08-07-2008, 02:26 PM

If you are at a competitive campus and you are worried about other houses cutting you because of your XYZ legacy status, be sure that your conversation at other houses includes comments like, " I am so thrilled to be here at ABC. Thank you so much for inviting me. I had a great time here yesterday, I really feel at home here, etc"

In my experience, the activies are looking for comments and clues from you to help them decide if you are interested in returning.

Kansas City · #7 08-07-2008, 03:09 PM

I would note your legacy status on your Panhellenic recruitment application but not bring it up during conversation during a party. I would be honest and not shy away from it if asked but I would not initiate that conversation. The sorority members will want to know about you and what you can bring to an organization. The legacy status is just additional information primarily for your legacy house but you are the one that makes the decisions about where you want to be.

AGDee · #8 08-07-2008, 03:10 PM

I wouldn't put it down anywhere. As the mom, I would fill out whatever paperwork my sorority needed from me, have one of my sisters write a rec, and make sure those are sent to the chapter itself. Nobody else needs to know.

AnchorAlumna · #9 08-07-2008, 04:36 PM

It would be a rare chapter that didn't know you were a legacy, and of what sorority. They don't have to see it on your info form. Many times they hear it from an alum in your hometown.
I wouldn't bring it up, but if you're asked, emphasize that you are looking for a group that's the best fit for you, not your mom or other relatives.

PeppyGPhiB · #10 08-07-2008, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

It would be a rare chapter that didn't know you were a legacy, and of what sorority. They don't have to see it on your info form. Many times they hear it from an alum in your hometown.
I wouldn't bring it up, but if you're asked, emphasize that you are looking for a group that's the best fit for you, not your mom or other relatives.

Actually, I'd say it's more common for women to have no idea about a legacy going through unless you inform them of it. Maybe in the south word gets around, but in most areas of the country, women go all over for college and no one gives any thought about Susie Q attending Cal State Sacramento, or Jane D attending Michigan State.

FSUZeta · #11 08-07-2008, 08:25 PM

i would reiterate what others have said by stating that it is great to have alumnae list your legacy status on the rec. form they send in, probably okay to list it on your rush registration form, but not a good idea to bring up your legacy status in a conversation, unless questioned about it.

AOII Angel · #12 08-07-2008, 08:42 PM

I can testify to the importance of not bringing up your legacy status in conversation since I mentioned my active AOII sister at parties (I couldn't think of anything else to talk about since I'm nervous in those situations!) and was promptly cut despite a great application from every group...even the struggling chapter. I unknowingly gave off the impression that I was only interested in AOII from day 1. Not a good idea. Just having a legacy on your application is not going to hurt you at the vast majority of schools unless they include Bama, Georgia or any other big SEC school. Those recruitments are completely different!

P.S. If asked about your mother, stress that she wants you to be happy at the chapter that is right for YOU!

ASUADPi · #13 08-07-2008, 09:09 PM

I truly think it is odd that other chapters would cut a girl because she is a legacy to another one. Every recruitment I have worked at, there is always some legacy (to another sorority) going through that our girls just adore and they would be thrilled if they 'stole' her. (I know lame, but kind of cute in a way).

gee_ess · #14 08-07-2008, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

Actually, I'd say it's more common for women to have no idea about a legacy going through unless you inform them of it. Maybe in the south word gets around, but in most areas of the country, women go all over for college and no one gives any thought about Susie Q attending Cal State Sacramento, or Jane D attending Michigan State.

It is very much a factor and very common knowledge in the south who is a legacy to which house. Word gets around through a variety of sources, and depending on the legacy relationship, girls can be cut based on that fact. If this OP is in an SEC school or other similar Greek situation, she needs to make it very clear in the dorm, in line waiting for a party, in the conversations during the party, with her gamma chi, etc that she is open minded about all the groups and her mother is encouraging her to find her own place.

Kansas City · #15 08-08-2008, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

I truly think it is odd that other chapters would cut a girl because she is a legacy to another one. Every recruitment I have worked at, there is always some legacy (to another sorority) going through that our girls just adore and they would be thrilled if they 'stole' her. (I know lame, but kind of cute in a way).

I agree. If the chapter that I advise really likes another house's legacy they would "rush her hard". It was always a challenge to see if the girl they really wanted would select us (the non-legacy house) over her legacy house.