Big Sis

pearlygirl08 · #1 02-17-2008, 10:47 PM

Hey everyone!
This is my first post, so forgive me if I make a mistake in posting!

I just joined my sorority as a junior this month through informal recruitment. We will be having Big/little events soon. We were told that we can choose a big. My question is, who should I choose? As a junior, a lot of the newer girls are younger than me. I am close with several senior girls, but I am not sure if I should choose a senior as my big, since she will graduate in just a few months. I have a few friends that are sophmores or juniors, so I could also ask them, though I am closer with the seniors.

I hope this makes sense! Thanks for your help.

cuteASAbug · #2 02-17-2008, 10:56 PM

Just because your big may graduate soon, does not mean that you will lose contact with her. At our District Day this past weekend, I met women who keep in touch with their bigs, littles, and pledge sisters more than 25 years after they've pledged. Go with the girl whom you feel closest to, and who you are the most comfortable around.

#3 02-17-2008, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pearlygirl08

Hey everyone!
This is my first post, so forgive me if I make a mistake in posting!

I just joined my sorority as a junior this month through informal recruitment. We will be having Big/little events soon. We were told that we can choose a big. My question is, who should I choose? As a junior, a lot of the newer girls are younger than me. I am close with several senior girls, but I am not sure if I should choose a senior as my big, since she will graduate in just a few months. I have a few friends that are sophmores or juniors, so I could also ask them, though I am closer with the seniors.

I hope this makes sense! Thanks for your help.

My big graduated at the end of the same semester I was initiated. We remained in close contact even though she didn't attend chapter meetings and events anymore.

IMHO, I'd choose someone you feel closest with, regardless of class standing. Sure, they may graduate soon, but they're there to help you during your New Member Education, and that's what's most important. You may not have a lot of collegiate memories with them as they're nearing graduation, but your sisterhood extends past college.

Leslie Anne · #4 02-17-2008, 11:38 PM

My advice would be to choose someone you look up to and who will mentor you as you grow nearer to becoming a sister yourself rather than someone who is just a friend. If that person happens to be a senior that's fine.

I joined as a Junior too and my big was also a Junior. She wasn't that involved her senior year so it was kind of as if she had already graduated. But, 20 years later, we're still very close. (We talked on the phone just 2 days ago.

)

mh*e · #5 02-18-2008, 12:34 AM

As someone who pledged as a junior (and befriended all of the juniors and sophomores in my PC), my opinion is that it doesn't matter. A senior, junior, or even sophomore--as long as the girl is someone you click with--will all make a great big for you. Almost all of my close friends in my PC have bigs who are either the same year as them, or even a year younger. It works out fine!

Bottom line: Choose someone you LIKE and who is INVOLVED in your chapter... someone who can truly mentor you and help you get to know other sisters and get involved in the chapter!

Don't worry too much about their year in school.

KSUViolet06 · #6 02-18-2008, 01:18 AM

Choose someone you feel comfortable with, who is a good mentor, and is involved.

I was a sophomore when I joined and my Big was a freshman. It didn't matter to me. Even though she was younger than me, she had been in the chapter longer obviously. She helped guide me through being a new member and showed me what it meant to be a good, loyal, contributing sister. She is one of the women who made me the involved alumna that I am today.

I ended up graduating before her, but we are still very close and I'm the maid of honor in her wedding. We are also very involved in the same alumna chapter.

So it doesn't matter what her class standing is, as long as she is committed to being what a Big is supposed to be (a mentor).

pearlygirl08 · #7 02-18-2008, 05:22 PM

Hi again!
Thanks to everyone for their input! It has really helped me

I have one more question about this issue. How many littles can one person have? Some of the people that I am considering (especially those that are seniors) have had several littles and some of their littles have littles. Can they still have me as a little, or should I find someone who has not had a little before?

Thanks again!

When Doves Cry · #8 02-18-2008, 05:30 PM

You can have as many Littles as you want.. or can afford. lol

but I'm sure someone without a Little would LOVE to have one

sageofages · #9 02-18-2008, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pearlygirl08

Hey everyone!
This is my first post, so forgive me if I make a mistake in posting!

I just joined my sorority as a junior this month through informal recruitment. We will be having Big/little events soon. We were told that we can choose a big. My question is, who should I choose? As a junior, a lot of the newer girls are younger than me. I am close with several senior girls, but I am not sure if I should choose a senior as my big, since she will graduate in just a few months. I have a few friends that are sophmores or juniors, so I could also ask them, though I am closer with the seniors.

I hope this makes sense! Thanks for your help.

Choose someone you can see yourself being in touch with over the years. Someone whose companionship you see as sustainable. If it is all one way, it becomes work and not a good relationship.

Yes yes, we are all about sisterhood, but let's face it...we all maybe "sisters" but we aren't all living the same lives. My big sister vanished off the face of Phi Mu right after I was initiated. I keep my eyes out on various "alum" style boards for the campus for her, but I doubt she will ever resurface. (She is listed as "lost" by our HQ)

I work hard to stay in contact with my "littles" because that is the kind of person I want to be to others.

Scully · #10 02-18-2008, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Choose someone you feel comfortable with, who is a good mentor, and is involved.

I was a sophomore when I joined and my Big was a freshman. It didn't matter to me. Even though she was younger than me, she had been in the chapter longer obviously....

I was almost in the same boat. I pledged when I was a Junior. And we chose our Bigs through mutual selection - who was a Sophomore. She was more than involved, a great role model and was elected president the following year. I had, and still have, a great deal of respect for her. Even if I don't speak to her as often as I should, I always know we'll have that bond.

You make the decision that feels right for you.

Leslie Anne · #11 02-18-2008, 06:27 PM

You can choose a Big who already has a Little. Just consider whether they'll have the time (and money) for you. Being a Big Sister can be such a great experience. So if you have someone in mind who hasn't had the chance yet, that would be great.

ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl · #12 02-18-2008, 06:27 PM

My sis-mom left the semester after I pledged, but we still kept up. I could've gotten in touch with her if I needed something. So it's not the end of the world. And my first sis-daughter is my own age and she still calls me "mom"...I think for bigs/littles/sis-daughters/sis-mothers/whatever it isn't so much age as seniority in the chapter, because it's really the organization that they are supposed to help you with...I would choose the girl you're closest with, regardless of age. As long as they're there to help you ease in that first semester, you can always go back later with questions even if it's through facebook.

Sometimes seniors don't really have as much time for the sorority anymore, which is something to consider, though...you need someone who can really guide you in your organization for that first semester.

KSUViolet06 · #13 02-18-2008, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pearlygirl08

Hi again!

I have one more question about this issue. How many littles can one person have? Some of the people that I am considering (especially those that are seniors) have had several littles and some of their littles have littles. Can they still have me as a little, or should I find someone who has not had a little before?

Thanks again!

This might vary from chapter to chapter, but we didn't have a limit on how many Littles a person could have.

I only have one Little myself and we have a very special and unque relationship and I wouldn't have it any other way. I felt like I could not only spend more and devote more time to her since it was just her and I. She now has THREE awesome Littles who are the most precious things ever.

In contrast, I'm the first of my Big's FOUR Littles We're quadruplets! I love my Quads and even though 2 of us have graduated, we all still keep in touch. I'm actually in my Twin's wedding and was just hanging out with my Quad (the "baby" Little) last weekend at Initiation.

One thing she always did was if someone happened to match with her, she would ask if we were "okay" with her taking on that new person before she agreed to take them. But we never cared! We all made it a point to hang out and I loved all of the girls so I never felt like I had to "share" my Big.

A piece of advice though: When you're looking at someone who already has Littles, pay attention to how they treat the ones they already have. If they BARELY have time for the ones they have, you probably don't want them for your Big. There were girls in my chapter who had like 3 Littles but never talked to or hung out with them. You don't want that.

epchick · #14 02-18-2008, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pearlygirl08

Hi again!
Thanks to everyone for their input! It has really helped me

I have one more question about this issue. How many littles can one person have? Some of the people that I am considering (especially those that are seniors) have had several littles and some of their littles have littles. Can they still have me as a little, or should I find someone who has not had a little before?

Thanks again!

Did your New Member Educator tell you which girls were NOT taking littles? I know that my chapter didn't have a limit as to how many little you could take. When we were new members we were told "Susie, Annie and Beth are not taking littles, so don't put them on your list"

Zeta13Girl · #15 02-18-2008, 10:09 PM

You should definently talk to your pledge mom about this I know our chapter has a rule that sisters in their last semester are not allowed to take littles. your pledge mom know more about your chapter's rules then any of us would so she would be able to help you out and my guess is that if you are confused about the process there are probably a couple other of your pledge sisters who are also confused and maybe afraid to ask, but this is what your pledge mom is for! Good Luck I hope you get a great big!