Good Hair Bad Hair????

[IncontRHOllable]

Ok. In the aftermath of the whole Don Imus scandal, I am left with a few questions. The question that has been weighing heavily on my mind is why is the term nappy headed considered so derogatory amongst blacks? I understand why the term is considered a racial slur because by definition racial encompasses anything that is characteristic of a race or ethnic group.

However, it still leaves me wondering why we take offense to the term? Back in the day, if someone were to call me nappy or say my hair is nappy, I would have been ready to fight, but why is that? The term nappy only means hair that is tightly coiled/curled. For the overwhelming majority of black people, that is how our hair is BEFORE the press/relaxers. I encountered this dilemma years ago and did some soul searching of why I felt the term nappy was bad. In my soul searching I always turn to God, so I opened the Word and realized that I am created in his image, and that includes my NAPPY hair, not to mention that my Savior, the one in whom I believe and worship, had nappy hair (description hair like wool is used to describe Jesus' hair). My conclusion was that if nappy hair was good enough for Jesus why isn't it good enough for me?

In the end, I began to realize that maybe the reason of why most black people do not like the term nappy used in describing their hair, is because we have allowed white society to capture it in a negative way, hence the good hair/ bad hair distinction. I take offense when some black people tell me that "oh you can wear your hair natural b.cuz you got good hair". What is good hair? There is no such thing. Could it be that through the years we have allowed white society and their standard of beauty to define us instead of seeing ourselves and our nappy hair for what they are, and that is beautiful? Of course, after soul searching, I embraced my nappy hair and wear it in all of its natural glory. Ok soRHOrs, sorry so long, but are there any thoughts out there?

[tld221]

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

Ok. In the aftermath of the whole Don Imus scandal, I am left with a few questions. The question that has been weighing heavily on my mind is why is the term nappy headed considered so derogatory amongst blacks? I understand why the term is considered a racial slur because by definition racial encompasses anything that is characteristic of a race or ethnic group.

However, it still leaves me wondering why we take offense to the term? Back in the day, if someone were to call me nappy or say my hair is nappy, I would have been ready to fight, but why is that? The term nappy only means hair that is tightly coiled/curled. For the overwhelming majority of black people, that is how our hair is BEFORE the press/relaxers. I encountered this dilemma years ago and did some soul searching of why I felt the term nappy was bad. In my soul searching I always turn to God, so I opened the Word and realized that I am created in his image, and that includes my NAPPY hair, not to mention that my Savior, the one in whom I believe and worship, had nappy hair (description hair like wool is used to describe Jesus' hair). My conclusion was that if nappy hair was good enough for Jesus why isn't it good enough for me?

In the end, I began to realize that maybe the reason of why most black people do not like the term nappy used in describing their hair, is because we have allowed white society to capture it in a negative way, hence the good hair/ bad hair distinction. I take offense when some black people tell me that "oh you can wear your hair natural b.cuz you got good hair". What is good hair? There is no such thing. Could it be that through the years we have allowed white society and their standard of beauty to define us instead of seeing ourselves and our nappy hair for what they are, and that is beautiful? Of course, after soul searching, I embraced my nappy hair and wear it in all of its natural glory. Ok soRHOrs, sorry so long, but are there any thoughts out there?

ok without rehashing all that has been said on GC re: this topic...


while "we" (and i mean those who are conscious to nappy hair being a positive thing) understand being "nappyheaded" to be OK, clearly Imus (and anyone else who uses this or a similar phrase) used the phrase in a derogatory context. the issue it seems, is that HE doesnt realize that it is offensive to a wide majority and furthermore doesn't see the history in WHY it would be.

of course no one wants to talk about how hair is one (of the many) things used to separate and elevate races amongst women. similarly, topics of sexuality and the body have similar effect. so... to throw the phrase "nappy headed hos" at black women, youre making a lot more connotations on that group than what is said. there are implications of their sexuality, their beauty and inherently, their identity as women.

to make a bold claim, Imus calling the Rutgers team "nappy headed hos" (especially in comparision to the opposing, white team) is as equivalent as saying they arent women/womanly. which, no surprise, is what the white man has declared from the beginning - that black women are something other than a woman because their attributes do not reflect that of white women.

[IncontRHOllable]

Thanks soror for the response. I did not realize that a nappy hair discussion was on GC, I should have checked. So true is your response, so true.

[Educatingblue]

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

However, it still leaves me wondering why we take offense to the term? Back in the day, if someone were to call me nappy or say my hair is nappy, I would have been ready to fight, but why is that? The term nappy only means hair that is tightly coiled/curled. For the overwhelming majority of black people, that is how our hair is BEFORE the press/relaxers. I encountered this dilemma years ago and did some soul searching of why I felt the term nappy was bad. In my soul searching I always turn to God, so I opened the Word and realized that I am created in his image, and that includes my NAPPY hair, not to mention that my Savior, the one in whom I believe and worship, had nappy hair (description hair like wool is used to describe Jesus' hair). My conclusion was that if nappy hair was good enough for Jesus why isn't it good enough for me?

I am really glad you posted this. I have been struggling with this for a while and finally decided to wear my natural hair (it wasn't that big of a transition because I only relaxed a couple of times a year and pressed in between).

[nonchalant]

"Talkin bout good and bad hair. Whether you're dark or you're fair. Go 'head and swear. See if I care. Good and bad hair."

[ziasha07]

Originally Posted by nonchalant

"Talkin bout good and bad hair. Whether you're dark or you're fair. Go 'head and swear. See if I care. Good and bad hair."

I was thinking about that scene the entire time I was reading this thread.

[IncontRHOllable]

What I really was trying to focus on was not Imus but why is it that black folk have a problem with nappy hair. For example, many black people who knew me before I went natural have asked me " why in the world did you mess up your hair like that?" Mess up? What's so messed up about natural hair? Or the classic, " Girl I could never wear my hair natural" and why is that? Another example is that once I started wearing my natural hair, I got more WHITE men trying to get with me than black men and I have heard this from several other natural sistas who say that their black boyfriends/ husbands had a problem with them going natural. Why is that? Why are we allowing one group of people to dictate to us what is beautiful and what isn't?

[christiangirl]

Hmmm....this thread looked interesting so I thought I'd stop in

That's a heavy question. Personally, I wouldn't wear my hair "naturally" because it seems a lot harder to deal with (I put the quotations there b/c IMO, the only way it's not natural is if it's not growin' out my head ). I'm seriously style-challenged when it comes to hair. I know how to flat iron it and curl it and that's about it. My friends with natural hair tell me they have to get creative with the styling and I'm just not talented enough in the hair department for all that. But I can do a mean ponytail! Plus, I'm tender-headed. It hurts enough to comb tangles out of my hair, but to comb it while it's "natural"..... I just couldn't do it. But, you know, I've always been told by my mother not to go around looking "nappy" like it was indecent. I've had chemicals in my hair since I was either 7 or 9, I'm not sure. My girlfriends will be quick to tell me when I need a touch up. I guess there are just cultural norms that flow in and out. At one point, you were lame if your clothes matched. Matching was just the proper and normal thing to do, then one day, it wasn't anymore. Maybe there's gonna come a day where women reject Motions and Mizani. Until then...everyone wants to fit in and that's not gonna change. *shrug*

[PrettyBoy]

To me, it just seems like this problem is mainly with the women not so much with the men.

[ziasha07]

There is definetly a stigma against "nappy" hair in our community. I've had a relaxer since I was two years old. (*Just For Meee...*) New growth in my family is forbidden! My mother has been trying to give my 5 year old neice a relaxer since she was 3 but her mother refuses.

I guess I'm like CG. I wouldn't know what to do with it except probably get a low cut or something. I'm just proud that I have hair that "touches my sleeve" (stole that phrase from a club DJ) that I didn't have to sew or glue in. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

[Still BLUTANG]

i think "good hair" is a phrase that needs to be erased from our vocabulary. the only way nappy = bad is when straight/wavy = good.

i was natural for about 10 years, then recently i went back to a relaxer. for me, it's just hair. i wasn't a miltant nappy, i was just comfortable enough in my own skin to rock whatever hair style (natural or relaxed) and still be fly.

the only people that had problems or questions about my hair were older people, non-blacks (your hair does that???), and a guy that i USED to talk to. LOL.

when i'm around my friends, they know there are certain words or descriptors that won't ride with me. if someone has straight hair SAY straight hair. it's not "good" or better than mine! just as i won't tolerate n-words and so forth, "good hair" is one of those things that should be avoided.

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by ziasha07

There is definetly a stigma against "nappy" hair in our community. I've had a relaxer since I was two years old. (*Just For Meee...*) New growth in my family is forbidden! My mother has been trying to give my 5 year old neice a relaxer since she was 3 but her mother refuses.

I guess I'm like CG. I wouldn't know what to do with it except probably get a low cut or something. I'm just proud that I have hair that "touches my sleeve" (stole that phrase from a club DJ) that I didn't have to sew or glue in. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Thank you for responding. You can tell that this is a touchy subject. You are so right that their is a stigma within our own community against nappy hair. I thought that this topic would allow some people to reflect on the reasons of why and give those of us who have not responded to such a topic a chance to respond.

[christiangirl]

Hmmmm.....I debated on not telling on myself, but I think that this is something that needs to be said.

I was in the school cafe today and saw my friend's friend, who wears her hair "natural". But today, it looked a little rough, like she hadn't combed it at all. And the first thing I thought was, "That's not cute, she looks a little nappy." :eek. As soon as I thought it, I caught myself and tried to figure out why on earth I'd say something like that, even in my head. And I came up with.....nothing. I honestly can't think of a single reason why I thought that other than it's engrained in me to feel negatively toward that word. While her hair was "nappy," that wasn't really the problem--the style itself looked bad. It was very unkempt (if that's a word) as thought she'd just rolled out of bed. But why I chose the word "nappy" to sufficiently describe an ugly hairstyle, I don't know. I honestly don't know. Whether that tendency came from society, culture, family, etc., it's so psychologically engrained that I can't even put my finger on it. And the things that we do without even thinking about it are the habits that are hardest to change.

[MIDWESTDIVA]

I too wish that "we" would remove the term "bad hair" from our vocabulary.

I was shopping in Wal-Mart the other day when a man with starter locks approached me to ask about my locks. During our conversation he tells me that his loctician says that his hair will lock easily because he has a bad grade of hair. Then he goes on to tell me that his niece, who wears her hair naturally has really bad hair, too. That is why he is trying to convince her to lock hers up. I repeated these statements back to him, hoping that he would realize how stupid they were. No such luck. He nodded in agreement. Then I had to get really elementary on his behind, and explained why "bad hair" is terminology he should never use.

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

the only way nappy = bad is when straight/wavy = good.

This is basically the reason that I gave. Then he asks me what he should call it. Why not just call it hair? I refer to my hair as nappy; so do most of my friends with natural hair. But I would not advise this guy to do that. I'm sure the word nappy has a negative connotation when he uses it.


To address the original post, I think the term nappy is considered derogatory because of social conditioning.

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Hmmmm.....I debated on not telling on myself, but I think that this is something that needs to be said.

I was in the school cafe today and saw my friend's friend, who wears her hair "natural". But today, it looked a little rough, like she hadn't combed it at all. And the first thing I thought was, "That's not cute, she looks a little nappy." :eek. As soon as I thought it, I caught myself and tried to figure out why on earth I'd say something like that, even in my head. And I came up with.....nothing. I honestly can't think of a single reason why I thought that other than it's engrained in me to feel negatively toward that word. While her hair was "nappy," that wasn't really the problem--the style itself looked bad. It was very unkempt (if that's a word) as thought she'd just rolled out of bed. But why I chose the word "nappy" to sufficiently describe an ugly hairstyle, I don't know. I honestly don't know. Whether that tendency came from society, culture, family, etc., it's so psychologically engrained that I can't even put my finger on it. And the things that we do without even thinking about it are the habits that are hardest to change.

Thanks for sharing this.