How did you know when it was time to end a relationship?

[ThetaLove]

Of course the obvious reasons are clear: cheating, abuse, smelly feet, etc.
Ok so I'm kidding on the smelly feet part....
But is it just one of those situations where if you are wondering or asking the question of whether or not to end it, you already know the answer?

I'm great at giving other people advice. But terrible when my feelings are involved.

edit: grrrrrrr. you can all point and laugh at me for not doing a search before posting.... I just noticed a similar thread.
but feel free to respond if you wish.

[bestrong]

hi there thanks for this post
i believe that my relationship has reached the end- my man bores me to death
there is no sex
only when he wants it-
he is the most unromantic and selfish guy
even when i called him he acted like he didnt want to speak to me-
i know in my heart thats its over
but dont know how to walk away

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by ThetaLove

Of course the obvious reasons are clear: cheating, abuse, smelly feet, etc.
Ok so I'm kidding on the smelly feet part....
But is it just one of those situations where if you are wondering or asking the question of whether or not to end it, you already know the answer?

I'm great at giving other people advice. But terrible when my feelings are involved.

edit: grrrrrrr. you can all point and laugh at me for not doing a search before posting.... I just noticed a similar thread.
but feel free to respond if you wish.

I've only dumped women that have slept with a bunch of guys. You know....hoes.

[ThetaLove]

even when i called him he acted like he didnt want to speak to me-
i know in my heart thats its over
but dont know how to walk away

If there is no communication, it SHOULD be over. I know walking away is difficult, especially when you get comfortable in a relationship. But you deserve someone who is romantic, selfless, and easy to talk to.

I've only dumped women that have slept with a bunch of guys. You know....hoes.

kay,
whew! I'm safe then!!!!!!

[chopper640]

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by chopper640

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

Time for the old cliche about how communication is important and you should be able to just be honest with her about how you feel about marriage. If you lead her on, it only makes things worse.

[kstar]

Originally Posted by chopper640

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

On one hand, "shit or get off the pot." After 2 1/2 years, she feels invested and you need to tell her if you aren't.

On the other, do not get married just to shut her up.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by chopper640

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

I might get flamed for this, but whatever. After 2.5 years, you should have some idea of whether you want to marry this girl or not.

If you know now that you will not EVER marry her, you need to have that conversation with her and let her know. This is clearly something she wants, and if you know that it will NEVER happen, you need to let her know so she can decide whether she wants to stay with you or not. If she thinks you guys are eventually going to get married, and you know that you definitely don't want that, you are wasting her time.

On the other hand, if you DO want to marry her EVENTUALLY (just not right now), that's also something you need to discuss. This is just so that you 2 can be on the same page because it doesn't sound like you are right now.

[Fleur de Lis]

There is a big difference with not being sure you want to marry HER and not being sure you're ready for marriage or want to get married at all. Be up front with her, but don't lead her on forever and then break up after you've invested so many years. Why the four years exactly - grad school plans?

[SirHornyToad]

I've been dumped hard twice, both times with pretty much no reason given to me. Once was fairly recently and I don't expect to ever find out the bottom line. The first time was quite a while ago and after a few years she and I talked a few times and she basically told me that she was young and wished she hadn't broken it off. She's now just about to have her divorce go through, getting married to another guy like a month after that, and she's pregnant with her 3rd kid by 3 different guys... oh did I mention she's 23 and a college drop out/waitress?

Blessings in disguise.

On the other hand I've broken up with at least 3 note worthy ex's. All of which are friends now.

First one I broke up with because I was young and wanted to play the field, everything was great, I was dumb, that sucks. Second one was awesome personality wise and everything clicked perfect everywhere except that I stopped being attracted to her and I had to end it. Third one was awesome and intense but after I graduated she made some new friends and started smoking a lot of pot and we just grew apart with different interests and kind of ended like this: Her "This isn't really working is it?" me: "Not really, I guess we're done" It was really sad because there was love there, but it was also really clean, no drama and it was just time. Now we're great friends.

But in regards to your situation, if you want to marry her some day, stick with it, let her know and also let her know that you need time and to feel comfortable about it completely as well.

If you don't want to marry her, quit wasting everyone's time and let her be free.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by ThetaLove

But is it just one of those situations where if you are wondering or asking the question of whether or not to end it, you already know the answer?

Yes. I think it's time to end the relationship if you're agonizing over whether to do so.

[S-K-double-E]

Short n sweet: when the cons outweigh the pros! period!