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02-03-2012, 02:30 PM
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Bottle Rocket + Anus = Fraternity Lawsuit
Long story short: A guest at a party at the Alpha Tau Omega house gets so drunk he decides that the best thing he can do is to shoot a lit bottle rocket out of his butt. When the rocket explodes without zooming off, he is "startled" (words of one article) and falls off the deck. Which, granted, does not have railings.
Instead of saying "How stupid am I?", he is suing the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity at Marshall University(WV). It's obviously their fault for not stopping him from drinking or shoving a bottle rocket up his butt.
One article says he was startled when the bottle rocket exploded; another says a friend startled him. Really? You got startled when a bottle rocket exploded where the sun don't shine? But - of course, it can't be your fault.
http://www.wvrecord.com/news/241575-...ernity-lawsuit
http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/02/02/43572.htm
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02-03-2012, 02:35 PM
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What in the? How drunk do you have to be to stick a bottle rocket up your butt? Wow... I am just lost for words.
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02-03-2012, 02:36 PM
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How drunk do you have to be to think of doing this?
TMI, but I puke well before that point.
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02-03-2012, 02:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by princessamy
What in the? How drunk do you have to be to stick a bottle rocket up your butt? Wow... I am just lost for words.
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Jinx. Buy me a soda.
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Facile remedium est ubertati; sterilia nullo labore vincuntur.
I think pearls are lovely, especially when you need something to clutch. ~ AzTheta
The Real World Can't Hear You ~ GC Troll
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02-03-2012, 02:48 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Dec 2009
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coke or pepsi products?
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02-03-2012, 03:15 PM
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"Defendant (ATO member Travis) Hughes owed plaintiff (Louis Helmburg III) and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus."
Lord, have mercy.
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02-03-2012, 03:24 PM
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I don't think that I would ever get to the point where I thought bottle rocket+butt is a good idea, but I know that I would be too embarrassed to bring suit against anyone should I do so.
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Actually, amIblue? is a troublemaker. Go pick on her. --AZTheta
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02-03-2012, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fascination
"Defendant (ATO member Travis) Hughes owed plaintiff (Louis Helmburg III) and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus."
Lord, have mercy.
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That would've been fun to write, but not nearly as fun as the intake conference where the client told his tale of woe.
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02-03-2012, 03:30 PM
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*does side bends and sit-ups*
*doesn't lose butt*
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02-03-2012, 07:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin
That would've been fun to write, but not nearly as fun as the intake conference where the client told his tale of woe.
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You mean ATO didn't have a "sober brother" on duty to pull stray objects out of members' butts?
"Helmburg said the explosion startled him, causing him to fall three to four feet off the fraternity deck where he became lodged between the deck and an adjacent unit's air conditioner.
The suit seeks damages for pain and suffering, loss of time from his baseball team, lost earning capacity and medical expenses. . . ."
Last edited by exlurker; 02-04-2012 at 07:08 PM.
Reason: To remove incorrect reference to one of the subjects in the article.
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02-03-2012, 07:42 PM
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"(Plaintiff) Helmburg says the fiasco came at about 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, at an Alpha Tau house party he attended with his girlfriend."
Maybe his girlfriend is the chick that's suing Tri-Sigma at the same school...
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02-03-2012, 07:52 PM
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You've got the story wrong. The injured party didn't get drunk and shove a bottle rocket up his ass. He was knocked off a deck without a railing by a drunk ATO who fired a bottle rocket up his anus while in a drunken stupor. Sounds like he has a case.
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02-03-2012, 07:54 PM
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BTW, it must be said. We are..MARSHAL!
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02-03-2012, 11:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AOII Angel
You've got the story wrong. The injured party didn't get drunk and shove a bottle rocket up his ass. He was knocked off a deck without a railing by a drunk ATO who fired a bottle rocket up his anus while in a drunken stupor. Sounds like he has a case.
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Now that I actually read the article, he definitely has a case. I still don't understand how anyone could think that bottle rocket + anus is a good idea.
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Actually, amIblue? is a troublemaker. Go pick on her. --AZTheta
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02-04-2012, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amIblue?
Now that I actually read the article, he definitely has a case. I still don't understand how anyone could think that bottle rocket + anus is a good idea.
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I was watching one of those "World's dumbest" shows a few weeks ago. They showed a clip of a couple of guys in Russia at a party, that decided to sit in a bathtub of water and light fireworks. Well of course that didnt turn out well...The bottle rocket + anus thing reminds me of that clip...or something off Jackass.
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