I feel Disconnected

[alaneagle2013]

So here's the deal

I pledge got initiated into my fraternity my freshman year. after I became active best feeling ever.So here's the problem I was active for a semester then put on alumni status by nationals because our chapter got suspended for four years for numbers and gpa. My whole problem with this is I dont feel like my brothers gave like a "warning" to my pledge class about this before we got initaited and dont get me wrong i love my fraternity I just feel like I really no nothing that being apart of it brings i.e rituals, handshakes,sayings etc I sometimes dont like wearing my letters because of this I feel like I might get questioned and can give the answers.... anyone have any advice

P.S no longer at my original school in middle of a self given school break

[IrishLake]

You were initiated, but you don't know what your rituals, handshakes or saying mean? How does that happen?

[alaneagle2013]

ritual is only done when during initiation and if you getting initiated your not in the room for most of it and....the others i was taught just in a rushed fashion so didnt really retain it if that makes sense

[33girl]

If you feel as though you were initiated under false pretenses, I would honestly contact your national headquarters and petition to be released from membership. It's hard to know if your brothers knew this was really coming or not, but if they did, they should have at least given you and your pledge brothers the knowledge so you could make an informed choice.

Although if you're thinking about going back to school and the school you go to has a chapter of your fraternity, you might be able to affiliate with them. If that's the case, make sure to tell them that you got caught in the middle - i.e. that you were a pledge and not part of the reason the chapter was closed.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by alaneagle2013

ritual is only done when during initiation and if you getting initiated your not in the room for most of it and....the others i was taught just in a rushed fashion so didnt really retain it if that makes sense

I know this is "just an internet forum," but the occasional period, capital letter and other signals of sentences would make it much easier to follow what you're saying and, therefore, easier to respond.

Is there a brother you can talk with to make sure you know the things you should know?

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by alaneagle2013

So here's the deal

I pledge got initiated into my fraternity my freshman year. after I became active best feeling ever.So here's the problem I was active for a semester then put on alumni status by nationals because our chapter got suspended for four years for numbers and gpa. My whole problem with this is I dont feel like my brothers gave like a "warning" to my pledge class about this before we got initaited and dont get me wrong i love my fraternity I just feel like I really no nothing that being apart of it brings i.e rituals, handshakes,sayings etc I sometimes dont like wearing my letters because of this I feel like I might get questioned and can give the answers.... anyone have any advice

P.S no longer at my original school in middle of a self given school break

Then how did you become rush chair?

Originally Posted by alaneagle2013

I'm the one of the rush chairs in my chapter on our campus in order to go through formal recruitment you have to register with IFC..when you do register IFC gives the chapters your info...Facebook is a could way to meet PNMs and sometimes that contact you 1st.. so i guess it really depends on the school!

PS If you're not in school, don't worry about wearing your letters. You don't have to explain anything.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Then how did you become rush chair?

PS If you're not in school, don't worry about wearing your letters. You don't have to explain anything.

"Rush chair" means different things in different organizations, particularly in fraternities. If his chapter was in the mess he says it was, it's not at all surprising that he would get put into a high office right after he was initiated.

Just because you aren't in school, doesn't mean you don't wear your letters. I just saw a TKE at the baseball game today...most definitely not school.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by 33girl

"Rush chair" means different things in different organizations, particularly in fraternities. If his chapter was in the mess he says it was, it's not at all surprising that he would get put into a high office right after he was initiated.

Just because you aren't in school, doesn't mean you don't wear your letters. I just saw a TKE at the baseball game today...most definitely not school.

I didn't mean that he shouldn't wear his letters, I meant that he shouldn't worry about people questioning his wearing them. He's still a member (if he was initiated and put on alumnus status.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I didn't mean that he shouldn't wear his letters, I meant that he shouldn't worry about people questioning his wearing them. He's still a member (if he was initiated and put on alumnus status.

I think he's more worried about someone questioning him about ritual and accusing him of being a perp, and he's afraid he won't be able to answer the questions. (I didn't know guys did that, but what I don't know about guys could fill a big book.) I assume that even if he's out of school, he's near a school where there is a chapter.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

(I didn't know guys did that, but what I don't know about guys could fill a big book.)

You did not know that fraternities ask about ritual, fraternity "secrets," and accuse people of being perps?

Even GC threads about NPHC fraternities over the years have referenced that.

To answer this man's question: Put your grown adult pants on and contact your fraternity brothers and your GLO. This situation depends on a number of factors and varies across GLOs/councils/conferences. You have the resources so use them.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think he's more worried about someone questioning him about ritual and accusing him of being a perp, and he's afraid he won't be able to answer the questions. (I didn't know guys did that, but what I don't know about guys could fill a big book.)

This is what I think he meant as well. Sample scenario: Brother sees him in letters and greets him, at which time brother can tell that OP doesn't really know the grip or, perhaps, the appropriate way to respond to brother's greeting. Brother then naturally questions OP's legitimacy.

And yes, the solution is to talk with brothers (or HQ).

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This is what I think he meant as well. Sample scenario: Brother sees him in letters and greets him, at which time brother can tell that OP doesn't really know the grip or, perhaps, the appropriate way to respond to brother's greeting. Brother then naturally questions OP's legitimacy.

That happens a lot for sororities and fraternities (across councils and conferences). The OP can figure it all out. If he can't figure this out then even I question his legitimacy.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That happens a lot for sororities and fraternities (across councils and conferences). The OP can figure it all out. If he can't figure this out then even I question his legitimacy.

I see how this could be difficult, though.

This would be the equivalent of me making it through this semester, after which point, poof! My sorority leaves campus. Yeah, I'd be confused and concerned, too, and I don't know that, without GC, I'd really know what to do. Given the little I know about guys (and the littler I know about fraternities), I can only imagine how much more confusing that'd be!

I know GCers are often skeptics (heck, so am I!), but I definitely understand this guy's POV and know that I'd be clueless, too.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by melindawarren

I see how this could be difficult, though.

This would be the equivalent of me making it through this semester, after which point, poof! My sorority leaves campus. Yeah, I'd be confused and concerned, too, and I don't know that, without GC, I'd really know what to do. Given the little I know about guys (and the littler I know about fraternities), I can only imagine how much more confusing that'd be!

I know GCers are often skeptics (heck, so am I!), but I definitely understand this guy's POV and know that I'd be clueless, too.

Then I would question your legitimacy and/or weep for the Internet Generation.

(Most GC threads are about national/international GLOs that are quite visible even if they are not on a particular campus.)

Long before the Internet existed, there was a such thing as people figuring this stuff out without the Internet. There is a big difference between using GC for ease and convenience (which can also be a bad thing depending on the topic) versus actually needing GC. GC cannot really tell you the policies and protocol of how specific GLOs get in contact with other members; or what you should know and how you should behave around other members of your GLO. If what people are looking for is just general advice they should know that or know how to find that without GC. That is what new member training, life as a member, and basic smarts and research are good for. Sure, it can be more stressful, embarassing, scary, and humiliating to call people, talk to people, or email people about this stuff in real life. Sure, typing about it on GC is a safe hiding mechanism. Typing about it on GC is also a cowardly cop-out for some topics.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You did not know that fraternities ask about ritual, fraternity "secrets," and accuse people of being perps?

Not when they just see them walking down the street, no, which considering he's out of school right now is what it sounds like he was worried about. Although that could be fun. "Hey you! In the ASA letters! Recite the Grace Before Meat NOW or I am going to cut you."