ROOMMATE CONFLICT - Help!

sherryanne · #1 12-18-2008, 08:00 PM

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#2 12-18-2008, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

I'll keep this story short. Basically, at the beginning of the year, I told my roommate that no boys are allowed in the room overnight, but she has broken that a few times already (more so lately). He has stayed over 6 days (out of the past 8 days). I know I'm going to have to confront her about this, but we're out for winterbreak this Saturday. Is it better to 1.) tell her before we leave for break or 2.) tell her after break when we come back? I'm afraid when we come back, she's going to fall into this routine again.

Tell her now. Do you live in campus housing? Do you have a no-guests without permission policy?

DaemonSeid · #3 12-18-2008, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

I'll keep this story short. Basically, at the beginning of the year, I told my roommate that no boys are allowed in the room overnight, but she has broken that a few times already (more so lately). He has stayed over 6 days (out of the past 8 days). I know I'm going to have to confront her about this, but we're out for winterbreak this Monday. Is it better to 1.) tell her before we leave for break or 2.) tell her after break when we come back? I'm afraid when we come back, she's going to fall into this routine again.

- if she is dealing with boys that could be grounds for pedophilia

- ever thought about taping her?

- what about joining in?

- instead of telling us this, confront her NOW.

DaemonSeid · #4 12-18-2008, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

Yes, on-campus housing, but guests are allowed. I guess I'll have to confront her again...

I was afraid that if I told her now, she was going to forget when we come back. But forget that silly thought. Thanks guys!

So why did you ask us?

People don't forget shyte like that...are you scared of her? Is she bigger than you or sumn?

sheesh

KSUViolet06 · #5 12-18-2008, 09:55 PM

Get off of the internet and confront her about it.

33girl · #6 12-18-2008, 11:57 PM

Did you ask to be in a limited visitation/no overnight visitors dorm and got stuck where you are now?

If you don't ever want any male overnight guests in your room - for your roommate OR you - then talk to the housing poobah and see if you can switch to a limited visitation dorm next semester. There's probably someone in the limited vis dorm who's miserable and would take your place in a minute.

It sounds like she's being inconsiderate, but if you are in a dorm where overnight guests ARE allowed, for you to tell your roommate you are refusing to follow dorm policy is inconsiderate as well.

If you go to one of those hippie colleges where everything is 24 hour visitation, again, talk to the housing poobah and see if you can be matched with a more like-minded roommate.

nikki1920 · #7 12-19-2008, 12:31 AM

Talk to her before you leave and again when you get back. Your right to be comfortable overrides her need to get some.

AKA_Monet · #8 12-19-2008, 12:37 AM

You pay for part of that room. She needs to get a hotel if she wants to street walk, seriously. That is nasty and you aren't into voyeurism.

Seriously, his pee-pee is not worth it if he can't find his own place to bone...

PANTHERTEKE · #9 12-19-2008, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

If you go to one of those hippie colleges where everything is 24 hour visitation, again, talk to the housing poobah and see if you can be matched with a more like-minded roommate.

I never knew anything but 24 hour visitations dorms still existed.

Had that not been the case at my school I don't know where I would've spent many drunken nights.

BabyPiNK_FL · #10 12-19-2008, 04:21 AM

^^^I'm thinking the same thing. I didn't know there was an option of living anywhere that people who don't live there can't be! Welcome to Miami, I guess!

DSTRen13 · #11 12-19-2008, 07:51 AM

I never knew GT was "hippie college" ... I'm so proud

agzg · #12 12-19-2008, 07:35 PM

If they're not being as inconsiderate as having sex in the room while you're sleeping (people do that - it happened to me), maybe you can set up a schedule. Like he can stay 2 or 3 days a week, and they have to tell you ahead of time so that you can make other arrangements. Maybe not sleeping at someone else's house but you can make plans to study in a friend's room or something so you don't feel so crowded.

MysticCat · #13 12-19-2008, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

If they're not being as inconsiderate as having sex in the room while you're sleeping (people do that - it happened to me), maybe you can set up a schedule. Like he can stay 2 or 3 days a week, and they have to tell you ahead of time so that you can make other arrangements. Maybe not sleeping at someone else's house but you can make plans to study in a friend's room or something so you don't feel so crowded.

You mean be in sexile?

KappaKittyCat · #14 12-20-2008, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

both of us knew each other before we became roommate, and I don't want this to tear our friendship.

It will. Bottom line: you can't have a friend that you live with in such close quarters and NOT have it affect your friendship. I roomed with a close friend our sophomore year and it did change our friendship. We're not as close anymore.

She's violating your space. She's taking advantage of your friendship. She's breaking an agreement the two of you made. And she will continue to do so until you put your foot down.

33girl · #15 12-21-2008, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

She is bigger than me, but that's not the point... both of us knew each other before we became roommate, and I don't want this to tear our friendship.

Did you tell her BEFORE you signed up and made the decision to become roommates (which I'm assuming was last spring) that you didn't want overnight visitors? "The beginning of the year" sounds to me like she walked in the first day in September and you flipped the script. If a person I was friends with did that to me, not only would I be pretty pissed, but I'd probably say forget you and do exactly what your roommate is doing.

You can't just assume someone is going to think and behave the same way you do, even if you were friends with them before.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

She's breaking an agreement the two of you made.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne

I'll keep this story short. Basically, at the beginning of the year, I told my roommate that no boys are allowed in the room overnight

That doesn't sound to me like "an agreement the two of [them] made." It sounds like something one person said and expected the other to follow with no compromise or discussion.