Eliminating Conflict w/ Another Org

[ilpwineg]

I'm not going to name the organization I belong to or the other organization because I'd rather not cause even more drama...


Greek life on my campus is extremely small, there's only 3 NPCs, a lot of local organizations, but almost all of them are culturally specific. We're a commuter campus, and most organizations are relatively small, local and national. My organization was founded about 4 years ago. Without going into too much detail our founders belonged to one of the NPCs, had their differences decided to split from that org and create a new local sorority.

It's nearly 4 years later, and not all of the drama and hard feelings have subsided, yet most of the current actives in both orgs were not present for the split and the things that happened thereafter. Two semesters ago we were approached by their social chair to have a mixer with them and a fraternity. The fraternity came, but the girls pulled out at the last minute. Since then there have been a few select incidents where their girls were rude and disrespectful to some of our girls.

The fraternities we associate with on campus know that there is conflict between our two organizations, and tend to joke about the rivalry, but they are very careful to not choose sides. There have been several occasions where I have heard of other organizations talking about the rivalry, and even making up stories about how much we "hate ABC". Things are just getting really uncomfortable with ABC. A close friend lives with some members of ABC and was even worried that I wouldn't come over because of the other girls.

I feel like with a new year upon us this is the perfect time to settle the rivalry/conflict once and for all. Yes, a little competition can be fun, but this has gotten too dirty and is hurting the reps of both of our organizations. I'm not saying we all need to be best buddies, but i believe that we should have a healthy relationship with ABC, one in which girls from both sides feel comfortable talking to, or even saying hi to each other. Potentially I hope that we may be able to have mixers with ABC as we have had with other sororities which were very successful in building greek bonds.

Have any of you ever gone through a similar problem? If so what did you do to reconcile...or does anyone have any suggestions on what we could possibly do?

Thanks so much for your input

[33girl]

Try doing a philanthropy project or sponsoring a speaker with them. With relations so bad you don't need to throw interacting with a fraternity into te mix. That can come later.

Are any alums (yours or theirs) who were there for the split coming around and stirring up old feelings? They may not mean to contribute to the problem but are doing it unknowingly.

[phisiglindsey]

You could possibly send them some gifts/notes at certain holidays or occasions. I know we've had some issues on campus and it helps by showing that you have no hard feelings. Since the semester is about to start maybe you could send a welcome back card and wish them good luck this semester. Also, there are a few other random holidays like St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo. Or wishing them a nice spring break around that time. We also send baskets at finals time with candy and goodies to other organizations and they love them.

[pshsx1]

You could sit and talk it out. As lame as that may sound, it actually works sometimes. It worked at my school. But then again (no offense), girls are sometimes different than guys in these situations.

Or like someone else said, keep pushing to do simple things together with no other groups involved. Also helps.

[gee_ess]

This may seem random, but what if you did some type of partner activities? Each ABC is paired up with an XYZ and maybe two or three of those pairs do some sort of activity together. It could be a volunteering activity (that way the community or campus can benefit as well) or it could be bowling or ice skating. The smaller, more intimate groups allow the girls to get to know each other on a personal level. This type of relationship would surely go a long way in stopping some of the negativity.

I like the idea of everyone sitting down together to work it out, but I think that could become a "free for all" fight/discussion. Send a representative group from your house to meet with same from their house. Meet in a neutral location.

I admire your willingness to heal this rift.