Getting too close to new members?

[crazyqt13]

I pledged my sorority last spring, so this is my first semester not being one of the "new girls". Well, we have a really sweet new pledge class, and I've been getting close with a few girls, and one of them is also my current roommate. I was just given a message, via one of my closest friends in the sorority from another not-so-close sister that we "should be careful about getting too friendly with the new girls"

Now, to me this seems insane. Why should we not want to be getting as close to our new soon to be sisters as possible? Basically my question is, am I wrong for wanting to get close to these girls?

Oh, and I'm not really new to gc, I just tend to not have much to say Thanks=D

[AOEforme]

I personally don't think so. Unless there's something here you aren't telling us, I'm really confused as to what she's getting at.

I LOVED the actives who made a sincere effort to get to know us. I got really close to a few of them and it totally made both my pledge period and my transition into active status 100% more enjoyable.

Is she jealous?

I can't think why you wouldn't want to get to know the newest members of your family! Isn't that a major part of joining a sorority?

[KSUViolet06]

I'm not sure why anyone would say this, unless you were doing things like:

*creating a risk management issue (doing something like supplying alcohol for the minors and hosting "Phi Mu New Member drinkfest" at your apt. or something of that nature.)

*telling her things that were only for initiated girls to know.

*only hanging out with her and excluding other new girls and making them feel uncomfortable around you guys.

Those types of situations aren't good for the new members or the chapter. Otherwise, I can't really think of anything.

[crazyqt13]

Originally Posted by AOEforme

Is she jealous?

I can't think why you wouldn't want to get to know the newest members of your family! Isn't that a major part of joining a sorority?

I kind of thought this too, but I didn't want to come right out and sound like a b---- in what is only my second or third post here..

I'm just glad that I'm not the only one who thinks getting to know the new girls is important.

Also, to KSUviolet- myself and the sister I'm very close with invited all of the new girls to come to lunch with us (we only have a pledge class of 8, so this isn't as crazy as it sounds) and four out of the eight came. I don't drink and Im underage so there's no alcohol involved, and we definitely aren't sharing any information that they shouldn't have yet.

[CarolinaCutie]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm not sure why anyone would say this, unless you were doing things like:

*creating a risk management issue (doing something like supplying alcohol for the minors and hosting "Phi Mu New Member drinkfest" at your apt. or something of that nature.)

*telling her things that were only for initiated girls to know.

*only hanging out with her and excluding other new girls and making them feel uncomfortable around you guys.

Otherwise, I can't really think of anything.

This is a possibility. We have something that we like to call the Phi bubble. Initiated sisters sometimes like to sit around and bitch about things in the chapter, people who aren't doing their jobs, big/lil matching, all kinds of things. If you can't stop yourself from talking about that then you definitely shouldn't be talking to the new members about anything negative. We don't hide things like the existence of academic probation or discipline, but there's no point in talking about any of the occasionally negative things that happen within the chapter. Your new member period should be sunshine and rainbows.

SO in this case, maybe that's the issue? Some people can't be "good friends" with someone without letting all of their negativity hang out.

However, if this ISN'T you, OP, then it's def. a good thing to get close to the new girls! You don't have to be best friends with only your pledge class and your Big!

[crazyqt13]

Originally Posted by CarolinaCutie

This is a possibility. We have something that we like to call the Phi bubble. Initiated sisters sometimes like to sit around and bitch about things in the chapter, people who aren't doing their jobs, big/lil matching, all kinds of things. If you can't stop yourself from talking about that then you definitely shouldn't be talking to the new members about anything negative. We don't hide things like the existence of academic probation or discipline, but there's no point in talking about any of the occasionally negative things that happen within the chapter. Your new member period should be sunshine and rainbows.

SO in this case, maybe that's the issue? Some people can't be "good friends" with someone without letting all of their negativity hang out.

However, if this ISN'T you, OP, then it's def. a good thing to get close to the new girls! You don't have to be best friends with only your pledge class and your Big!

I don't THINK this is me, but I will take it to heart and keep it in mind when I am around the newer girls. Thanks

[Senusret I]

I think it's good to go to the source and/or the top and ask.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by AOEforme

Is she jealous?

I can't think why you wouldn't want to get to know the newest members of your family! Isn't that a major part of joining a sorority?

Yeah that is effin' crazy.

I bet that not-so-close sister, a few pledges, and maybe even the OP are labia lickers.

[crazyqt13]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I bet that not-so-close sister, a few pledges, and maybe even the OP are labia lickers.

Is that necessary? Really?

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by crazyqt13

Is that necessary? Really?

I'm dead serious. My last semester active, I was a similar situation.

I was in a org that was co-ed, yes a big ol' orgy. Some of the actives got all fussy when me and another active started spending a lot of time with some of the pledges (that THEY wanted to have sex with).

I was kinda joking and I don't know what's going on in your chapter, but the above scenerio isn't that far-fetched.

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I'm dead serious. My last semester active, I was a similar situation.

I was in a org that was co-ed, yes a big ol' orgy. Some of the actives got all fussy when me and another active started spending a lot of time with some of the pledges (that THEY wanted to have sex with).

I was kinda joking and I don't know what's going on in your chapter, but the above scenerio isn't that far-fetched.

I highly doubt this has any relevance to the OP's original issue.

[crazyqt13]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I'm dead serious. My last semester active, I was a similar situation.

I was in a org that was co-ed, yes a big ol' orgy. Some of the actives got all fussy when me and another active started spending a lot of time with some of the pledges (that THEY wanted to have sex with).

I was kinda joking and I don't know what's going on in your chapter, but the above scenerio isn't that far-fetched.

Even so, is 'labia lickers' an appropriate term wherever you come from? Because here, it's derogatory and offensive.

And no, that is in no way related to my situation.

[Senusret I]

You could also seek advice where you come from and not the internet.

[crazyqt13]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

You could also seek advice where you come from and not the internet.

Oh, I plan to, but I just wanted an outsiders point of view as well. I know that no one here is going to tell me exactly what to do or how to react, but I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't completely wrong before making a fuss about it.

Also, you said this already

[Senusret I]

But you had yet to acknowledge it before you acknowledged foolishness.