Re-Rushing

[luckystar4909]

Okay so I am a little confused and was wondering if anyone could share their opinion.

Last year I got a bid from an amazing sorority and I absolutely loved it however I ended up not becoming initiated. I never officially depledged but I spoke with what was our 'president' (we were a new sorority on campus) at the time and we were supposed to sit down and formerly talk but that did not happen. I did not follow through with initiation because my great grandmother and my grandmother both passed away without warning and it became too much for me to handle. Looking back I should have relied and trusted the girls that were going to be my sisters but instead I closed up.

Anyway, formal recruitment for our school is coming up and I am still in love with the sorority. I still remember all the songs and each time I see the girls getting ready for recruitment I get really sad because I can't represent! It might seem lame to an outsider but I really felt like I found my home with the sorority.

So now I am unsure whether I should rush again or not. I do not think the girls of the sorority are really upset with me. I have someone that I know kind of well from the sorority that I could sit down an ask but I feel kind of reluctant. I do not necessarily want to go through formal recruitment again because I feel no need to visit eight other sororities when I already know which one is the one for me - but I would if I had to. But I also am worried that the ladies of my former sorority are going to think that I am damaged goods and will not accept me. I feel stuck and am sure of what I should do. In my life I think I only regret two things and not going through with initiation is my first regret; however is that one of those regrets where you must accept the decision you made and move on... Or can it be fixed? I was wondering what you other ladies out there would tell me to do and how you feel about me re-rushing.