Re-Rushing
 

Okay so I am a little confused and was wondering if anyone could share their opinion.

Last year I got a bid from an amazing sorority and I absolutely loved it however I ended up not becoming initiated. I never officially depledged but I spoke with what was our 'president' (we were a new sorority on campus) at the time and we were supposed to sit down and formerly talk but that did not happen. I did not follow through with initiation because my great grandmother and my grandmother both passed away without warning and it became too much for me to handle. Looking back I should have relied and trusted the girls that were going to be my sisters but instead I closed up.

Anyway, formal recruitment for our school is coming up and I am still in love with the sorority. I still remember all the songs and each time I see the girls getting ready for recruitment I get really sad because I can't represent! It might seem lame to an outsider but I really felt like I found my home with the sorority.

So now I am unsure whether I should rush again or not. I do not think the girls of the sorority are really upset with me. I have someone that I know kind of well from the sorority that I could sit down an ask but I feel kind of reluctant. I do not necessarily want to go through formal recruitment again because I feel no need to visit eight other sororities when I already know which one is the one for me - but I would if I had to. But I also am worried that the ladies of my former sorority are going to think that I am damaged goods and will not accept me. I feel stuck and am sure of what I should do. In my life I think I only regret two things and not going through with initiation is my first regret; however is that one of those regrets where you must accept the decision you made and move on... Or can it be fixed? I was wondering what you other ladies out there would tell me to do and how you feel about me re-rushing.

The first thing we need to know is when is rush? If your campus is about to start recruitment, then the sorority women CANNOT speak to PNMs. Calling them to inquire whether or not they would invite you back would be a foolish thing to do at that time. If recruitment has passed or is in the spring, you may have a chance to speak to them. Contact your greeklife office to find out if it is okay for you to discuss membership at this time. If it's okay, call your friend. Explain what happened and why you didn't get initiated...I think the death of two loved ones in a short amount of time may be a reasonable explanation. If you left in bad standing...ie owing money to the chapter, you may want to offer to settle your debts. They should be able to tell you if they can accept sisters outside of formal recruitment (i.e. they aren't at campus total or didn't get quota.) They will not be able to tell you whether or not they can or will give you a bid until the bid is or is not issued. I think that it would not hurt to let them know of your continued interest. I agree that going through formal recruitment may not be the best way to get back into the chapter. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a rough time that semester. I can't imagine having to deal with such a loss when your trying to get settled in school. I hope they understand.

If a woman pledged during FR leaves, and then wants to return, is she able to do so under NPC rules?

Each chapter is allowed quota. I know that, if you take quota (and that puts you over total), you can not then replace women who de-pledge. Is there an exception for women who want to re-pledge?

I know some orgs consider bids good for a year. How does that fit into the green book?

Soooooo I could be wrong, but a woman's bid is good for an entire calendar year at that campus if she signs it... so if she depledges, leaves, and comes back a few months later (still within that calendar year) I would think that she's still held to that until the year is up.

For the OP -- if she never initiated, but never officially depledged, wouldn't she still be on the chapter roster?

That was my question after reading her post. You said you met with the president but nothing "official" seemed to happen as a result. Was your pledgeship actually terminated? Did the chapter or HQ send you anything that said your pledge was terminated? Because you may well still be on the chapter rolls and still considered in NM status. Whether you're in good standing may be a question because you obviously haven't paid dues while you've been "gone", but like someone else said, if you offer to get current financially and want to retain/maintain/resume your NM period, maybe you can just roll into the incoming fall NM class. The safest thing might be to check with the greek life office first just to make sure you don't break any recruitment contact rules if you don't know what they are; they should have the chapter active rolls on file there and might be able to tell you if you're still listed. If you are, you are free and clear to contact the president of the chapter and discuss if you can "come back into the fold", as it were.

If they depledged you, you're in an interesting situation. I'd still recommend starting with the greek life office and going from there.

is she talking about a national group though? cause the op said they were new on campus at the time...not sure if its a new colony or a local. i have no idea what local rules are but national ones are pretty set in stone. if shes national then definetely find out if you were ever formally depledged or not. if its local then i dont have any idea how that works.

Might it be similiar to what happens if you, as a new member, do not make your grades?
Back in the day, that meant (at my chapter,obviously) you continued as a new member and had the next semester to make your grades. If you didn't then, that was it. But the pledge was considered binding for a year (not sure if that is calendar or school).
I think this is a case of contact the president AND the alumna advisor for a heart to heart and to sort everything out.

xoheatherxo - It is a national chapter, we were recolonizing in the area when I joined.

nittanyalum - I never received anything from HQ telling me that I was no longer a member.

Thank you all so much, everything you provided was really helpful! I definitely have a little bit more hope than I previously did. Thank you again ladies.