Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
There are threads that make you laughsnort before you even open them, just from the title. This is such a thread.
Unless the sorority is attempting to enforce a dry pledgeship - which has been recognized as hazing since the 1970s - and unless the girls are wearing their letters and representing their getting together as a sorority event, the sorority really can't do squat. Just because you pledge a sorority does not mean they can control every minute of your day. I think the real issue here is that there's a division in the pledge class.
And yes, I realize these girls can be punished for drinking underage - but if that occurs, then every pledge AND sister that drinks underage needs to have the same punishment.
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First, to the OP, this truly is something your daughter needs to handle since there really isn't anything you as her mother can do about it. I would suggest that she and her group of friends request a meeting with the president or standards officer and take it from there.
As to paying for it=privy to it...my parents paid for my membership, but my mother never asked for information on internal affairs (probably because she is Greek and knows better). I believe they have a right to know what they're paying for and would have been glad to show my parents the breakdown of dues and where the money went. But that's it.
A dry pledgeship is hazing unless every sister, both new member and active, is held to those standards and somehow I doubt they are unless it is something required by nationals.
However something my mother told me before I joined was that sororities
do have some amount of control over your life. You
can be sanctioned or expelled for bad/illegal behavior. If Active Amy is drinking underage at her apartment with one other sister who isn't going to tell on her and Nancy New Member is underage, dancing on stage at the bar with a beer in hand, it's going to be Nancy who finds herself in trouble. Fair or not. Discretion is key.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ree-Xi
I think it's a matter of "my daughter shouldn't be punished for something that someone else did".
It happens all the time. In elementary school, someone throws a spitball, but the whole class gets in trouble. On sports teams, someone screws up a play, and the whole team has to do laps. In high school, three people steal a copy of the test and the entire class has to re-take it. You work in a restaurant where you pool tips (all tips are collected and divided), and one sucky worker who gets rotten tips ends up reducing each person's portion.
It happens everywhere. There's a reason and a purpose. Can you - Splash or OP - not see that?
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That doesn't make it right. No one said life is fair, but I do not believe in treating an entire group badly for the mistakes of one or two members. I would have had a problem with it as a new member were I in this girl's situation. On the other hand, I would have gotten a few girls who agreed with me and gone to an officer to talk about my concerns.