Naming Names

[HeidiHo]

In reading the recent recruitment threads I've notice something that totally shocked me, telling the world what organization you love and hate by their name. I have to say that asides from being somewhat rude to say "XYZ are dorks and I only went because I had to", it's pretty risky. What if an XYZ from your school read that? Even if it's not a person from your school, what's to stop them from calling that chapter? What if someone from the organization you love saw you bashing other houses? That's not a very polite thing to do, and I personally don't want a member who has a holier-than-thou attitude. There's a lot said about discretion on this board, why don't we all regroup and begin showing some?
Heidi

[Tom Earp]

hediho, very well said. I know when i started the local at school, we had backing from all of the fraternitys on campus. without them we may have not picked the fraternity to be added. I have met a lot of greeks from many different schools and kid them that they should have been lxa but if not, at least they became members of the greek community.

[LeslieAGD]

I have to agree with Heidi...lets not name names of weaker houses because we never know who's out in internet land reading our posts.

[zetagirly]

Personally, I think that people realize that organizations sometimes vary greatly from school to school and I like knowing what people's opinions are. I hate NOT knowing and as long as it isn't blatenly cruel (and I haven't read any that are yet) I don't see the harm. Unfortunetly (sorry my spelling is terrible today) some sororities are "weaker" than others and it gives people like me education on other greek systems.

I do however, believe that the dirty rushing that justamom mentioned should not be broadcast over these boards and so far it hasn't been.

My opinion, I wish people were MORE specific and weren't censoring themselves so much. I want details as to which groups they liked and why and which groups they didn't like and why. So far, I've enjoyed what I have read.

[LeslieAGD]

Zetagirly, you're right, I also enjoy hearing the girls stories and the things that they liked about all the houses, but I just hope they don't say, "I dropped ABC because they were weak or mean or had buggers in their nose," etc. I think there was one post in particular that may have been the catalyst to Heidi's post.

[Greek_Girl]

I'm not sure if one of my messages was the one that started this thread or not. If it was, I'm sorry. In my opinion(which doesn't mean much ), each sorority is different at each school. Not every girl is going to fit into every sorority. I don't think I have really categorized the soroities at my school and I'm not going to start now. Every sororities party on my campus has been terrific, but like everyone else I became close to certain ones. I hope that is not seen as a bad thing. Sorry, I just wanted to clarify some things in case my post was the one that started this discussion.

[Aphigal]

Hello.

I actually respectfully disagree. I feel like when the group names are left out then part of the story is missing.

It is a mutual selection process and that means sometimes the sorority chooses to release a womenas we have seen here a number times. Also a sorority released by a rushee is equally disappointed (at least one sister I am sure is!)

So go ahead names names, paint the whole picture! Some of us GC are so into your posts - its better than Days!

[cutehootie]

I agree with Heidi about NOT naming names about negative stuff. On the other hand, there was a message post, made by a girl about pledging Phi Mu that was beautiful. I don't see where it does any good to berate a chapter by name and university.

I know some like to see the dirt and gossip and the wounded feelings, but personally I like to see the positive in all the sororities. We all work many hours to make rush a success and we know that we can't make everyone (or even close to that) happy. I don't mind if a rushee gets into how much she loves a particular house and its members and feels comfortable there. But, I see no benefit, other than to hurt others, to say: "I thought they were boring or cold."

And to hear other Greeks snicker at a sorority, that is bashed by a rushee for one reason or another, is disappointing. We all do our best--both rushees and members. At bottom, rush is very personal for both the rushee and the sorority, and I think we need to be sensative to the feelings of both.

My university has one of the most competitive rushes of all, but on bid day you can see all the members from the different chapters celebrating and hugging each other--even taking pictures where ChiO is with a KD or a DDD or a DG, etc. This is what MOST of Greek life is really about.

[TechAPhi]

I know there are many out there who will disagree with me but...

I have to applaud HeidiHo, CuteHootie, and others who assert that it is not a good idea to single out specific sororities on specific campuses for negative critique. I am sure these <<insert negative comment here>> sororities are painfully aware of the perceptions of others and are trying like crazy to make a go of it in spite of it all. I think it does a severe disservice to these individual chapters and the Greek system as a whole.

Yes, critique is good. But it only does good when the comments are well-founded, substantiated, and well-meaning. To say that ABC sorority is nerdy, weird, or whatever, is not particularly helpful and is just not necessary in my opinion.

Potential new members can post their honest comments and feelings without naming names. For example, if Rhonda Rushee states that she attended a preference party of one of the smaller sororities at XYZ University, people familiar with XYZ University will probably have a good idea of which house she is talking about anyway. Those of us who aren't familiar with XYZ University don't really need to know the specific house (do we?). Does it help the Greek system or our understanding of the story to know this information? I assert that it does not.

I certainly believe in freedom of speech. I acknowledge each of our rights to say what we want to say, I just wish that it didn't have to involve hurting others. And make no mistake, when members of a sorority that has been subject to negative comments read these posts, it hurts (whether it is her chapter or not).

Well, these are my opinions for what they're worth. I know you might disagree with me, you might even flame me, and I understand that. I'd just like to think that we're all here to support the universal sisterhood--the sisterhood that transcends our individual chapters.

Greek Love,
Jen

[Heather]

Very well said Jen!

I've always told people that I think Chi Omega is the best sorority, BUT I hope every KD thinks her sorority is the best, every ADPi thinks her sorority is the best, etc. (You catch my drift.) Meaning that I hope every individual thinks that her sorority is the best and, most importantly, the best place for her! Because it is through these "believers" that greek organizations are able to survive and thrive. Of course when it comes to panhellenic we check the "who's best?" at the door and just work to make sure that our greek system as a whole is strong and successful. Personally, I was always worried when another group appeared to be struggling or going through a weak time b/c if they folded we could be next!

[bruinaphi]

I know that this is kind of an old thread but I wanted to add my two cents. I have to agree with those who support naming names. I understand Jen's point about hurting feelings but I disagree with her in that I think naming names helps chapters improve. The chapters who are named here can learn a lot from the perceptions of others and can use their perceptions to improve themselves for the next year.

For example, rushee Rhonda, who is going through rush at Oklahoma says something about the Alpha Beta's not making eye contact with her and talking about their decorations the whole time. If Alpha Beta is a weaker chapter on campus and one of their advisors or collegiates sees the comment, the Alpha Betas can work on those aspects of their conversational skills for the next year and it will help them grow as a chapter.

Just my thoughts.

[cutehootie]

I don't think naming names improves anything. Most chapters have a way via panhellenic and new pledges to get input and feedback. Naming names is simply gossip and drama.

That may be ok, there are two sides to it, but be honest, it has little intrinsic value and is mainly entertainment.

[bruinaphi]

I understand the perception that it is just gossip, but I have found it very helpful information. In my opinion, new members are not as honest on their new member surveys (whether they are done through Panhellenic or the chapter) as PNMs are on GC.

[ErikaXO]

This is a very delicate subject....I agree with both sides of the argument to an extent. If a criticism is a constructive one, such as "some of the XYZ girls didn't make any eye contact," fine. Maybe tht would be helpful to them. But let's be honest....I don't think that's something that would cause most rushees to drop a house. Not that I think anyone would say this, but something along the lines of "The XYZs had a bunch of fat, ugly girls who obviously didn't know how to dress!!!!" is terribly inappropriate. It isn't going to help them to point this out, and if that is the perception on their campus, as someone already said quite well, they probably are aware of it. If you really want to name names, perhaps just to say "I dropped DG this round," without elaborating would be sufficient.

[Sue_XO]

A lot of Chi O's responding to this one.... we must of got the negetive critique this round of recruitment?! I did not like reading it personally because there was nothing I could do about it. It does not help us improve because I am (a) an alum & (b) did not go to the school where the incident happened.

I feel it would be nervy of me to call the Mu chapter at Berkley and say "hey I read somewhere that your rush stunk- you were stuck up and told a rushee that she could not get in unless she had a Prada handbag!" That comment would go in one ear and out the other.

If you did not like a sorority during recruitment- just say "XYZ" was not for me or did not fit well with my personality. You don't have to go into a rant of how XYZ will forever be in turmoil and probably never be #1 on campus because they cut you and boy, they lost the best person ever when they did that! (we all know the lovely post I am referring to!) ha ha

Just my 2 cents also! Sue