NMs and Actives

MissFidelity · #1 08-05-2008, 01:01 PM

So I'm now NME for my chapter and have received lots of feedback from the previous NM who are now actives saying they wish they would've had more time with the actives.

How can I coordniate events/socializing so that the NMs can have lots of time with the actives? It sounds easy to answer, but the majority of my chapter doesn't really attend a lot of stuff because they're busy or they don't want to. How can I get the mingling started with actives who feel this way?

Thanks!

AOEforme · #2 08-05-2008, 01:18 PM

One of the things we do that I find is really helpful is to require the NMs to do interviews of the active members and alumnae. They can be over the phone, e-mail, or in person (we try for this one!). We require a certain number of interviews (say 20/ NM) over the course of the pledge period. We assign half of these, so the NMs are required to talk with actives that they aren't already friends with.

They're really quick (5-10 minutes) and I loved them as both a NM and as an active sister! I get to learn a lot about the new members of my family and, as they weren't a pre-planned activity, I got to do it on my own time.

#3 08-05-2008, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme

One of the things we do that I find is really helpful is to require the NMs to do interviews of the active members and alumnae. They can be over the phone, e-mail, or in person (we try for this one!). We require a certain number of interviews (say 20/ NM) over the course of the pledge period. We assign half of these, so the NMs are required to talk with actives that they aren't already friends with.

They're really quick (5-10 minutes) and I loved them as both a NM and as an active sister! I get to learn a lot about the new members of my family and, as they weren't a pre-planned activity, I got to do it on my own time.

Keep in mind that what's not considered hazing to you is considered hazing by some organizations.

AOEforme · #4 08-05-2008, 01:59 PM

true.... It's part of our New Member Program and in our international bylaws.

Maybe you could very strongly encourage interviews

Canadian · #5 08-05-2008, 02:02 PM

We play a lot of intramural sports and invite girls and guys to be on our teams. I was on the Kappa Sigma water polo team as a pledge, and it was a great way to meet people.

Thomas

ASTalumna06 · #6 08-05-2008, 02:26 PM

We can't make it mandatory to do interviews, but something that we've considered doing is making it like a contest to see who can find out the most about each sister. Have some kind of incentive for the new members to find out what they can from as many sisters as possible.

Set up a jeopardy type game near the end of the semester... or have them take a fun quiz to see how much they know.

You can also give them points depending on what kind of interview they do. If they have an email interview, make it 2 points, a phone interview, 5 points, and an in person interview, 10 points. Have the sisters sign off on them to prove which kind it was.

At the end of the semester, you add up the score from the jeopardy game/quiz and the kinds of interviews they did, and whoever gets the most points wins something special.

RaggedyAnn · #7 08-05-2008, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissFidelity

So I'm now NME for my chapter and have received lots of feedback from the previous NM who are now actives saying they wish they would've had more time with the actives.

How can I coordniate events/socializing so that the NMs can have lots of time with the actives? It sounds easy to answer, but the majority of my chapter doesn't really attend a lot of stuff because they're busy or they don't want to. How can I get the mingling started with actives who feel this way?

Thanks!

I'd start by engaging the newest initiated sisters. Reminding them of their own words is way to increase participation.

AnatraAmore · #8 08-05-2008, 07:56 PM

Also, encourage mingling and attendance at events your chapter already has - could you offer some kind of incentive for BOTH actives and NM's for getting to know each other?

bevinpiphi · #9 08-05-2008, 08:49 PM

We have sisterhoods that are mandatory (excuse is wedding, class, emergency, etc.). The chapter decides which are mandatory, give two weeks notice, and it's in our bylaws that it's mandatory. These mandatory events are also point-worthy, which figures in at the end of the semester for living in/living out rights, and before each social event.
Plus...new members are allowed at our house at any time, and often come over for dinner at the house before initiated. We also had Thursday night Grey's Anatomy watchings when I was a new member. Find something your sisters already love doing, and make it an event that new members are also included in.

flirt5721 · #10 08-06-2008, 01:36 AM

Also what about "Rose Buddies" (that's what we called them). And active sister is assigned to a NM for a week and the active is taking them out to lunch/dinner or whatever they want. The Active was also in charge of getting the NM gift (we had our notebook, rose jars, bears...things like that)for the week. Invite the Actives (a few at a time)to the NM members and introduce them to the NMs. Have ice breaker games during/after meetings.

Kansas City · #11 08-06-2008, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissFidelity

... the majority of my chapter doesn't really attend a lot of stuff because they're busy or they don't want to.

It sounds like the problem lies with your active members and not your new members. I agree with RaggedyAnn. You need to encourage last year's pledge class to make this year's pledge class feel welcome. And stay away from the active interviews by new members unless you want to require everyone to play the same game. The chapter I advise has pledge class dinners. The new members will have dinner one week with the sophomore pledge class, the junior pledge class the next week and then the senior pledge class the following week. This seems to encourage new members (and active members) to bond with their pledge class while meeting with other sisters.

ree-Xi · #12 08-06-2008, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadian

We play a lot of intramural sports and invite girls and guys to be on our teams. I was on the Kappa Sigma water polo team as a pledge, and it was a great way to meet people.

Thomas

I don't see how inviting men to join events would help the new members get to know the active members better.

But anyway, we used to have "buddy days" where you buddied up with a different member twice a week. We did this with our pledge class, but you can do it with actives. In a six- week period, that's 12 girls that they have had a chance to hang out with, that they might not have had otherwise.

Your buddy activity could be walking to classes together, meeting for lunch, studying together, etc. The point is to do something that was part of your normal day, together. It can be something that both the actives and new members look forward to, and it doesn't have to take up any additional time out of the day.

33girl · #13 08-06-2008, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kansas City

And stay away from the active interviews by new members unless you want to require everyone to play the same game. The chapter I advise has pledge class dinners. The new members will have dinner one week with the sophomore pledge class, the junior pledge class the next week and then the senior pledge class the following week. This seems to encourage new members (and active members) to bond with their pledge class while meeting with other sisters.

The reason interviews are better than big group activities is that not everyone is good in a group - pledge OR sister. Some people are quiet and their voices never get heard, and at the end of the dinner the 4 most outgoing people have had a blast and are BFFs, but the rest of the group (who didn't get a word in edgewise due to the 4 bigmouths monopolizing the conversation) learned nothing about any of the new members and didn't get to know them at all, and considers the evening wasted.

I like ASTalumna06's ideas - and turn it around so the sisters are rewarded for finding out things about the pledges as well.

And you have problems with actives who don't want to show up to things - begin their termination proceedings. Dead weight drags you down.

Canadian · #14 08-07-2008, 12:24 AM

ree-Xi,

Kappa Sigma is a male fraternity. But by encouraging pledges and girlfriends to be on the sports teams, it creates friendships as the new pledges get to spend time on ice, or in the pool or field with other members. On the water polo team, it didn't matter if you were GM or PNM, you were part of a team.

Thomas

Kansas City · #15 08-07-2008, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

The reason interviews are better than big group activities is that not everyone is good in a group - pledge OR sister. Some people are quiet and their voices never get heard, and at the end of the dinner the 4 most outgoing people have had a blast and are BFFs, but the rest of the group (who didn't get a word in edgewise due to the 4 bigmouths monopolizing the conversation) learned nothing about any of the new members and didn't get to know them at all, and considers the evening wasted.

I like ASTalumna06's ideas - and turn it around so the sisters are rewarded for finding out things about the pledges as well.

And you have problems with actives who don't want to show up to things - begin their termination proceedings. Dead weight drags you down.

I totally agree but just wanted to caution that the interviews cannot be one sided. All members (new and active) can be required to participate in the interview "game" but requiring it ONLY of the new pledge class is considered hazing in my organization. My comment was intended as a word of caution and my suggestion of dinner is just an example of what works well for the chapter I advise.