The cleanest house?
You've got a long way to go.
Put more people on Rush Chair to have them brainstorm and to help out and encourage each other.
Make it a party when they come on tour... couple of handles of everclear. Have someone volunteer to run into a door with a helmet on. Make it as wild as possible.
At Arkansas here's what every house does for every single round. President/speaker/rush chair gets up in front of the room. Every brothers in the room. The president announces some sort of party, everyone in the room goes fucking nuts and throws shit around, yells and rants about the party. The president goes on about another party, and everyone goes crazy. Then they mention the alumni and every person in the room acts like they have a personal connection to the alumni. "Oh Jerry Jones/Johnny Tyson/Joe Ford/etc" Let the guys have a party while the speaker is speaking and go crazy...get very, very hammered for rush.
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Overall, though, it's the bigness of the car that counts the most. Because when something bad happens in a really big car – accidentally speeding through the middle of a gang of unruly young people who have been taunting you in a drive-in restaurant, for instance – it happens very far away – way out at the end of your fenders. It's like a civil war in Africa; you know, it doesn't really concern you too much. - P.J. O'Rourke
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