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  #1  
Old 07-22-2001, 09:40 PM
Greek Cutie Greek Cutie is offline
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Post Crisis...Need Advice!!!

I have been stressed out for days over this guy and I need some opinions. I can't ask my friends for advice because they are kind of involved in the situation. Anyway, here it goes...I have reflected on my guy choices from this past year and I realized that most of the guys I have gone out with were complete jerks. Why I chose to date them is beyond me, but you girls know what I am talking about (it is so easy to fall into the trap of picking the wrong guys). Well I was thinking about how I need to find a nice guy...and I thought about the qualities that I wanted this guy to have. And I know a guy that fits ALL of the qualities I am looking for in a boyfriend...he has been one of my good friends for 2 years now. He has always been there to listen, talk, and laugh with. I didn't realize I had feelings for him until recently. The only problem is that I have kind of hooked him and my best friend up. He was telling me that he needs to find a nice girl, and I told him that I was going to introduce him to Becky (my best friend). Well, I introduced them the other day and Becky said she is really looking forward to going out with him (he called her twice), and that he seems so sweet and stuff like that. I think that Ron (my friend who I have feelings for) may want to go out with Becky and see what happens. I don't know what to do. I want to tell my best friend how I feel about him, but I want her to be happy and she deserves a nice guy. Plus, I don't want this to ruin our friendship...she seems to care about him a lot. And I feel bad about changing my mind all of a sudden and telling her that I don't want to set them up anymore, and that I want to go out with him instead...I don't want to be selfish and I don't want to lose one of my closest friends over a guy. What should I do????
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  #2  
Old 07-22-2001, 09:47 PM
Lil_G Lil_G is offline
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Wow this sounds like an episode straight out of that show where girls/guys admit crushes to their freinds. Maybe a studio audience can help you out with your dilemma.
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  #3  
Old 07-22-2001, 09:56 PM
AlphaSigLana AlphaSigLana is offline
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This reminds me of the usher song- where the guy loves his girl, but is inlove with the friend that set him up with that girl. usher thinks he belongs with his friend. I don't really know what to tell you, but isn't funny that sometimes the things we want are right below our nose?
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  #4  
Old 07-22-2001, 10:05 PM
DGPhoney DGPhoney is offline
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Hi,
well that truely sounds like some drama. The best I can tell you is follow your feelings and go with what means the most to you. Try talking to your best friend, because if you wait to long , u never know what could happen kinda thing, you know what I am saying. I wish you luck though and I hope everything works out for the best for you~
DGPhoney~
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  #5  
Old 07-22-2001, 10:17 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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If he has been your good friend for a long time, it might really screw up the friendship if you take it to a romantic level. (been there - done that - got the whole collection of T-shirts) So even if your friend doesn't go out with him it might not be good for you 2 to hook up.

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  #6  
Old 07-23-2001, 05:34 PM
Angelic Angelic is offline
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This same situation happened to me except I was the other girl. My best friend hooked me up with one of her good guy friends. We had been dating for a month when my frined decided that she liked the guy. She told him she liked him and he broke up with me because he didn't want to get in between us. I was really upset about it and I felt really betrayed. My friend and I stopped talking. Me and the guy got back together and we dated for two and a half years. Things settled down between me and my friend but we were never as good as friends as we used to be. It's really sad. If you are going to say something to Ron make sure you do it sooner than later. Don't wait until things are serious between them to say something. You're probably thinking you'll just wait it out hoping nothing will happen between them but you'll never know.
Just me talking from experience.
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  #7  
Old 07-23-2001, 07:50 PM
Miami1839 Miami1839 is offline
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These are my thoughts on this. Granted its a tough situation but if it was me and I was girl LOL(which I'm not) I would talk to your friend. I say this because you brought the subject up about the guy and you obviously have feelings for the guy. If time passes and your friend develops feeling for the guy It might effect you and it might be more difficult to keep your friendship with your girlfriend. Thats if you still wanted to pursue the guy. I agree with 33girl to a point. Not all friendships(even the best ones) make good relationships. In time it might effect your friendship in a bad way. But then again thats looking at it with a glass half empty I say talk to your friend when shes next available and get it off your chest. Thats if your still thinking about the guy. If not then I say move on and just consider him as a friend. That way they'll be no regrets.

Kevin

[This message has been edited by Miami1839 (edited July 23, 2001).]
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  #8  
Old 07-23-2001, 09:51 PM
Kevlar281 Kevlar281 is offline
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Well everyone has had a lot of insightful warm and fuzzy replies but I think I will go with the jerk approach. This is quite a simple technique to help you in your situation all you need is another guy friend (one that is interested in your friend or at least attracted) to run interference on your guy friend. Basically you just need him to distract your girl friend by flirting, talking, and being socialable. Now a few things will happen with this approach #1. Your girl friend likes the new guy. #2. Your guy friend is intimidated (jealous) and backs off. #3. Your guy friend is the competitive type and speeds things up with your girl friend. Its more or less like slight of hand, why your friend is distracted with the new guy you can work on your guy friend and hope he gets the hint if all things work out nicely your girl friend will be interested in the new guy and will feel like your doing her a favor by cleaning up her mess with your friend. Good Luck
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