Warning for men

James · #1 05-24-2001, 07:42 PM

I was talking to a woman today and she accidently let drop a derogatory term that women use privately to refer to certain men . . .

In woman's code the word is: Cuddle-buddy

Cuddle-buddy is the term some women use to refer to what we usually call "that guy".

The guy in a ladies life that is providing all the emotional comfort and support that a boy-friend is supposed to without getting any of those fringe benefits.

They go hang out, confide in each other, everyone swears he likes her, he treats her like gold, and she may or may not have a boyfriend . . .

We have all been "that guy" at least once, and ladies its the reason why we are not as nice anymore . . . niceness was a well that dried up after overuse by some other woman . . . that was not our girl friend . . .

But when I heard the term Cuddle-buddy it just gave me bad chills . . . she was very nonchalant when she said all women need ******, ick I can't even write the term anymore it makes me ill!

You might as well call us care-bears or smurfs.

But guys if some of your friends have fallen into this role, and you have tried to reason with them, I imagine that judicious uses of that term like, "Your nothing but her little Cuddle-buddy" will probably bring him around.

Sorry ladies, I had to spill your secret and warn the brotherhood of men. . .

[This message has been edited by James (edited May 24, 2001).]

DGPhoney · #2 05-24-2001, 08:41 PM

well thats a cute term,but I have never used the term "Cuddle Buddy", to me a friend is a friend and a Bpyfriend is a Boyfriend. but your new term is not as generalized thing as you may think. not all women use that sort of term, and second don't fake like some of ya'll guys don't have the same thing in females.

Be real fellas
DGPhoney~

amycat412 · #3 05-24-2001, 08:43 PM

well, hmmmmm, i'm a woman and i've never heard that term.

my term for that would be friend. as my friends, regardless of gender provide emotional support, laughter, friendship, and yes, love.

if you're a guy and you're a friend to a woman and you want to be more, make it known. don't use up your 'well of niceness' out of frustration. plenty of women appreciate a nice guy, are looking for a nice guy and wondering where they all are.

Amy

James · #4 05-24-2001, 08:53 PM

Keep in mind I am being toungue in cheek . . but it is a funny term

And I don't know many men that would like to think of themselves that way . ..

[This message has been edited by James (edited May 24, 2001).]

SoCalGirl · #5 05-24-2001, 09:59 PM

I don't think that I'll ever stop laughing after this post!

James! If you're not the cuddle buddy; how do you graduate to "friend w/ benefits"?

LeslieAGD · #6 05-24-2001, 10:24 PM

you know James, sometimes guys that are deemed "cuddle buddies" are actually guys that girls WANT to be their boyfriends or friends w/ benefits.

bubbles17 · #7 05-24-2001, 11:56 PM

lol, since when did guy friends become "cuddle buddies"?

seriously, i really think that there is nothing wrong with having a "cuddle buddy"--that term is very mis-leading, they are simply friends! guy friends whom we can confide in for emotional support, act playfully around with. hey, they are there for me emotionally when my on-again, off-again bf jake isn't. . .and a lot of them are truley like my brothers. . .

i think it's healthy to have really great guy friends who you are so comfortable with =). and guys-don't be bothered! we girls love the warmth of hugs and such- and that DOES NOT mean that we actually have feelings for the guy- have you ever thought about how we just like hugs from guys in general? =)

on the other hand, i have never heard of that term "cuddle buddy." but that term is simply hilarious. . . and i really dont think that it's a term that many women use

[This message has been edited by bubbles17 (edited May 24, 2001).]

KSig RC · #8 05-25-2001, 12:37 AM

yeah - for all men who've ever been relegated to "cuddle-buddy" when it's obvious they wanted more, this is your day:

(best Braveheart yell . . .)

FREEEEEEEEEDOM!

anyway - being one of "those", well, sometimes that's worse than getting played . . . great term though, and thanks again to James on the heads-up for all men. peace

James · #9 05-25-2001, 02:10 AM

THAT is funny KSig RC

Quote:

Originally posted by KSig RC:

(best Braveheart yell . . .)

FREEEEEEEEEDOM!

sigmagrrl · #10 05-25-2001, 11:35 AM

See, I have a few cuddle buddys! They are just there for when I need some huggin' without the emotionally draining crap that comes with a relationship!

Miami1839 · #11 05-25-2001, 10:28 PM

I admit I've fallen into that word in the past. However, I agree with Amycat as far as the idea of "friendship". I fall into that "nice guy" category as much as I hate to admit it, but I'm sure with some women thats something to be admired. I just act like myself and part of it I guess was the way I was raised. There are times when I feel taken advantage of and when I find that I like someone. Though when I get burned I figure they lost out on a real prize.

Kevin

[This message has been edited by Miami1839 (edited May 25, 2001).]

veruca76 · #12 05-26-2001, 12:28 AM

Okay, I think I know what this is really about. You know those guy "friends" of yours where you have an idea that he might want a little more than friendship and you don't. You maintain the relationship because you value this guys friendship but at the same time it can be awkward...
I think it's really only playing the guy if you don't make it clear to him that you are never going to be more than friends. If I'm honest with him - anything that happens from there isn't really my fault. We just need to be honest with men. Admittedly, women can be just as dishonest as men sometimes.

Hootie · #13 05-27-2001, 11:53 PM

I've heard of a SUGAR DADDY. LOL.
But James you have to admit...it's a catch 22. Women get hurt and then don't trust men. Men get hurt and then don't trust women. There is no one sex to blame. It's the cycle of life. Hey, I got played by my ex who is still avoiding me and owes me a thousand dollars. I was his girlfriend but now I wonder if I wasn't just his snuggle bunny...lol. You know what I mean...Sugar Mama....whatever.
So no, the secret isn't out of the bag. Boys do it too. People just need to be smarter and know when you're being played for a fool, learn from it, and not let it happen again.
Hootie

PotentialPledge · #14 08-11-2002, 09:30 PM

Quote:

I admit I've fallen into that word in the past. However, I agree with Amycat as far as the idea of "friendship". I fall into that "nice guy" category as much as I hate to admit it, but I'm sure with some women thats something to be admired. I just act like myself and part of it I guess was the way I was raised. There are times when I feel taken advantage of and when I find that I like someone. Though when I get burned I figure they lost out on a real prize.

I have to agree with miami1839. I think I had a good upbringing and in turn im a pretty nice, cool guy. And I have been known to be a "cuddle buddy" here and there. Sometimes it sucks because its with the girl you wanna have benefits with but whatever.

James · #15 08-11-2002, 09:45 PM

Most girls understand the relationship between sexual tension, sex, and power better than men.

So most girls know that if they have sex with you they lose control . . hence they won't have sex with you . . . your loss.

Quote:

Originally posted by PotentialPledge

I have to agree with miami1839. I think I had a good upbringing and in turn im a pretty nice, cool guy. And I have been known to be a "cuddle buddy" here and there. Sometimes it sucks because its with the girl you wanna have benefits with but whatever.