FW: Collegiate Dictionary
THese a kinda funny---- My friend sent them to me.
Put a few thousand drunk and horny teenagers in a dirty-ass dorm for 4 years, and you get a new language with its own terms.
NOTE: Language and subject matter may be offensive. If you could get grounded by reading this, stop.
ACA
Abbreviation for Acute Commitment Anxiety. It is a common disorder in young collegiate students who often hookup with many different women. Also used to explain someone's behavior. When a women confides in one of her guy friends and says, " I can't believe he is hooking up with her." Her guy friend (who is also friends with the guilty party) would respond, "It's not his fault he suffers from ACA."
Asshole
A simple drinking game that involves a hierarchy of players from president to asshole.
Baja
To a off the beaten path. For example, "Instead of just following the sidewalk, Slappy tried to go Baja and got lost in the woods -- what a tool."
Beer goggles
One's perception when under the influence of alcohol. Often causes unattractive people to look hot, long distances to look jumpable, and breaking dancing moves to look easy.
Beer muscles
A sudden increase in courage and combative abilities directly linked to alcohol consumption.
Beer Slut
A women at the party who will get on any guy that is providing free beer.
Bent Me Over
An unpleasant result or painful conclusion to an event. For example, "That physics final bent me over."
Beverly
One who is known as a Snob or Prep.
BH9
Abbreviation for Beverly Hills 90210
Boonies
Far out of the way. Usually where you have to park your car in the student lot.
Booze Snooze
A nap taken early in the afternoon to prepare for the night's party, after you've already been drinking. See also Party Nap.
Boss
A girlfriend. Refers to her power and control over scarce resources, like sex.
Breaking the Seal
Going pee pee for the first time while drinking. Once the seal is broken, restroom trips become much more frequent.
Bubble Letters
A "cute" font face used only by sorority girls. Often applied with paint pens.
Buffalo Club
A ritual often practiced by freshmen. One variation involves always drinking with one's opposite hand. If caught drinking otherwise, the guilty party is forced to finish their drink.
Butterface
A girl who has a great body but not an attractive face. Comes from..."Everything looks good on her, but her face."
Cankles
When one's calves and ankles grow together
Clock in (also Punch the clock)
Visit a boyfriend/girlfriend out of a combination of obligation and fear. For example, "Hey, I'd love to drink and throw stuff off the roof with you guys, but I have to clock in with the boss or she'll cut me off."
Cock Diesel
Muscular and fit. See also Ripped.
Crack the spine
Opening a book for the first time. Often doesn't take place until the night before the finals. Commonly used during bragging sessions when someone is selling back a book claiming never to have opened it.
Cro-Magnon Man
A particularly rough looking male. Distinguishing marks include dirty fingernails, nappy hair, and a large sloping forehead. Named after the early human discovered by anthropologists.
Crunchy
Relating to hippie, out-doorsy, free-spirit, eco-friendly behavior
Deja Booty
1) a situation in which an individual reunites with a former fling in a seemingly random - and often ironic - twist of fate.
2) a rare instance when one hooks up with a seemingly new person only to realize that they had hooked up in the past but forgot because they drank too much GoldSchalger that night with Cool Jay down the hall.
Drinkie
Beer or Liquor. The yin to the yang of Eatie.
DSL (Dick Sucking Lips)
A term used by men when women are not around. A female version may exist, although a male has not ever heard it.
DTP (drink till puke)
Term used to describe consuming alcholic beverages until puking them back up. This amount can vary greatly from person to person, but is almost always a whole hell of a lot.
DTR (Determine the Relationship)
An inevitable, yet painful, discussion that must take place in any relationship lasting longer than two weeks.
Eatie
Food or Women
East Bum
Short for East Bum Fuck. Way out of the way. Even past the boonies. Usually the location of the off campus party you had to walk to.
Fancy sleeping
This is laying in bed with a significant other but NOT actually hooking up. However, it often leads to a hook up.
F-Bomb
Euphemism for "Fuck." As in, "He dropped the F-bomb in front of his parents by mistake."
FFF (Forced Family Fun)
Activities that involve the whole family
Fifteen Minute Rule
If a professor is over 15 minutes late, the class may leave and not expect any repercussion. If the class is taught by a TA, the time is shortened considerably.
Fix Stuff
Break stuff. A sometime alcohol or sexual-frustration fuelled rage common in males at 2:00 am -- often involving bottle breaking and chest pounding.
FNGs
Fuckin' New Guys. New initiates to any club, fraternity or team.
Food Dog
An affectionate term given to Southern students for Food Lion Supermarket.
Frisbee
Any uneaten pizza left on the floor of a dorm room.
GDI
Greek abbreviation for God Damn Independents
Get the Heisman
To get one's advances rejected. Comes from the stiff arm pose of the Heisman Trophy.
Glaze your seat
Making a female excited
Golf Party
A party in which participants form teams and go from room to room taking various shots of alcohol.
Got Five on it
A rule that allows an individual to leave his/her seat in a room and return within five minutes and still retain rights to sit there.
Granola
Something or someone who is crunchy
Handle
A 1.5 liter of hard liquor. Named after the handle often crafted into the bottle.
Hell Week
Greek term for a most grueling week before initiation when pledge-ship increases in intensity.
Hoggin'
The practice of hooking up with large, hefty individuals.
Hook Up
A romantic or sexual encounter of any varying degrees of intimacy
Hottie
An attractive person -- personality usually not figured into the equation.
Huey
An individual who tries way to hard to impress their teacher in class. Also known as a Kiss Ass.
Hurt Locker
A place of extreme discomfort. Being in pain.
Jobby Job
What Snoop Doggy Dogg (and every senior) needs to get.
Kids
One's testicles. "That line drive came dangerously close to connecting with my kids."
Knocking it
Recreational intercourse. Possibly from "knocking the boots." Possibly not.
Lucy
A particularly rough looking female. Distinguishing marks include dirty fingernails, nappy hair, and a large sloping forehead. Named after the early human discovered by anthropologists.
Lung Candy
Cigarettes
MDA (Mysterious Drinking Accident)
What happens when you get drunk and hurt yourself in some way, but don't remember it. Evidence of MDAs includes cuts and bruises and NO MEMORY how you got them.
Meathead
A guy of low intelligence and a thick neck. Often chosen to be your lab partner.
MILF
Abbreviation for Mother I'd Love to Fuck
Mule
An individual, often male, who doesn't give a shit about his dignity or safety and will accept any bet or challenge regardless of better judgment.
Old Shoe
A former boyfriend/girlfriend who can be counted on for casual sex in a pinch.
P's
Abbreviation for Parents
Paint Pen
A form of graffiti commonly practiced by sororities. Bubble letters and images of balloons, flowers and hearts are often designed onto water bottles, coolers, and mugs.
Parent-proof
Prepare a room for a visit from the parental units. Usually includes hidding alcohol, birth control, controlled substances, poor test grades, and dirty dishes.
Party Nap
A short early-evening rest period to prepare for the night's festivities.
Penny the Door
Deliberately trap someone in their room by forcefully hammering a stack of pennies between their door and the door frame.
Pissing Clear
The point at which one has consumed enough alcohol to turn one's urine transparent. Signfies the beginning of a buzz.
Pull Tubes
Take drags from a bong.
QT
Short for Quality Time. Spending time with anyone important. It can be said to the boys, " I have to spend some QT with the boss," or " I have to spend some QT with the rents and then I will hit it hard," or it is just as effective when used on your old lady, "I can't watch a movie tonight I am spending some QT with the boys tonight."
Rents
The people who raised you, helped pay for your schooling and initiate wild cleaning sessions before they come to visit. See also P's.
Respect the D (Respect the P)
Skilled at the art of oral pleasure
Ripped
Muscular and fit. See also Cock Diesel.
Sausage Party
A gathering of many more men than women.
Setting the pick
This is when you employ a friend to stop someone from approaching. For example, you see an old hook up coming up to you at a party. They will certainly ruin your current chances at nookie, so your friend intercepts the old flame before they get to you. Of course, you now owe the favor to your friend in return.
Shack
A verb meaning to spend the night in the room of someone of the opposite sex.
Shit Kickers
A pair of leather boots with thick menacing lug soles.
Shot in the face
A person who is extremely unappealing.
Sketchy
Of questionable origin or distrustful motives. Can be used to refer to people, inanimate objects, towns, parties, and lunchmeat.
Smoky Treats
Cigarettes
Sneaky Drunk
An individual, who when drunk, has an increased sense of stealth and cunning. Often suffers from disillusions of invisibility.
Snieger
(Pronounced 'ss neye ger') A cigarette. "Hey man, can I bum a snieger?"
Sorostitutes
Sorority girls that are known for their promiscuity.
Sorwhores
See Sorostitues.
Spalding
A half-full discarded drink. Named in loving tribute to the character in Caddyshack
Stain
A person that is a pain in the ass
Strugglefest
Someone who is sloppy drunk.
Taco Hell
An affectionate term of Taco Bell. Originates from the physiological effects that the food has on the human intestinal track.
Team Jesus
A group of militant religious students who proselytize and preach with extreme fervor and little tact. Also called the God Squad.
Test Files
Past tests and notes kept by organizations to help their fellow members.
That Guy
An individual one does not wish to become. Often one's drunken persona who decides things like exposing oneself in public or driving drunk are good ideas.
Thankles
A term given to girls whose legs transcend from thighs to ankles, with no definition. Considered worse than Cankles.
Three Second Rule
If a piece of food falls on the floor, one has three seconds to retrieve it before it gets too dirty to eat. Less than three seconds and the food in question is safe to ingest.
Throw a Haymaker
To punch with extreme force. Often used in fights to knock someone on their ass.
Tool
A socially inept individual. Similar to a nerd, but not as smart.
Tool Box
See Tool.
Tool Shed
A house, apartment, or dorm room in which tools reside.
Ultimate
Short for Ultimate Frisbee. A game that combines Frisbee, soccer, and football. Often played on quads by crunchy people.
V Card
Slang for virginity. One can keep it and protect or have it revoked.
Wake and Bake
The habit of starting one's morning with a toke.
Weenie Roast
See: Sausage Party
Wife Beater
A tight white undershirt worn by college males and stars of "COPS" - sleeves are optional; stains are mandatory.
Wingman
A friend who helps you meet a hottie by entertaining other friends in the party
Wounded soldier
A full beer found when cleaning up the next day after a party.
Women-B-shoppin'
A single phrase that is used as a generic response for why certain females behave as they do. "Why isn't she at the party? Well just because uhhhhh... Women-B-shoppin'!"
Zamboni
A roll of paper towels or toilet paper used to mop up spilled fluids. Particularly helpful during drinking games.
Yef
A sarcastic remark derived from the the word "yes," but meaning exactly the opposite. Examples include: QUESTION - "Is it true you hooked up with that fat chick?" REPLY- "Yef!" or "Dude, can I borrow your car?" ...."Yef." Originated roughly circa 1991.
Zero
A person several degrees worse than a stain
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Long, but worth the read.
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