Men on the Internet

[aquafina03]

I found myself chatting with a guy I met from blackplanet. He seemed pretty cool. He had decent convo on the net and over the phone. We never met in person though which is a good thing. There were somethings about him that didnt add up so I figured it was cool just to conversate from time to time.

How about today I get a call with a Maryland area code. I didnt answer of course. I decided to call it back. I figured someone had the wrong number. How about it was a women that answered when I called back. This women asked me did I know a man by the name of Jeremey Stevens. I had to think because I really forget that I had spoked with this guy. I then said, "Yes, I know Jeremey!" She says, " Well this is his wife!" I am in complete shock. I then tell her how I met him. I even gave her his "screen name" on blackplanet and yahoo messenger. She tells me that she got her phone bill and it was extremely higher than normal and had numbers from different women on it. All the times that I spoke with this Jeremey he never mentioned that he was married. To be honest I never asked either. I really felt sorry for this woman because I could hear their children playing in the background. Yes, he had children also. The woman seemed very hurt that he would do something like this to her and she said she was trying to track him down. I hope she doesn't kill him!

Anywayssssssss...For those women reading this I hope that you be careful of these men on the net. If you are married and your husband spends a lot of time on the net, be careful as well. Who knows who he is talking to. You never know who is behind that screen in cyberspace. You just never know. So many of us women have went to the extreme to finding friends, love, convo, etc. on the net. It seems like a good idea when all else fails and to be honest its not always bad. I know I have learned something from this. Everything that glitters isn't always gold or whatever the saying is. Its so weird that this Jeremey guy had just called me the night before and then his wife calls. Wow! Just think if I had decided to meet up with him??

Is there anyone else out there that has had an experience like this? I know I am not the only one!!!

[MightyQuinn]

I'm sorry both of you had to go through this but I'm happy you found out before it was too late. Sadly enough this is not just an internet problem- it happens far too often with men you meet in the club, the grocery store, at the gym and any of the other places women frequent. You said something that made perfect sense- "Something just didn't seem right...". We all need to listen to that little voice in our heads that tells us that everything ain't on the up and up. I hope you finally do find a good man worthy of your trust and time.

[James]

Just to play devil's advocate, and being sort of serious:

If men told you they were married/involved, and that kept you from developing a relationship with them, how would they know whether they should leave their wife or girlfriend for you?

We have all seen someone leave their SO for someone else, and we have seen those new relationships make it.

[MightyQuinn]

Originally posted by James
Just to play devil's advocate, and being sort of serious:

If men told you they were married/involved, and that kept you from developing a relationship with them, how would they know whether they should leave their wife or girlfriend for you?

We have all seen someone leave their SO for someone else, and we have seen those new relationships make it.

I'm sorry but I would hope any woman looking for a serious committment would not want a man that would leave their wife because something better came along. That's another one of those signs that should tell a woman that this man is not the one for her!

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally posted by James
Just to play devil's advocate, and being sort of serious:

If men told you they were married/involved, and that kept you from developing a relationship with them, how would they know whether they should leave their wife or girlfriend for you?

We have all seen someone leave their SO for someone else, and we have seen those new relationships make it.

Are you serious? LOL

I would never consider a man who has left his wife/family for me. He'd probably treat me the same way, or worse.

[Virtuous Woman]

Sorry to hear that you've had this experience. This is not uncommon at all. Recently, my cousin's husband used my computer and he left evidence that he's been having cyber affairs with women he's been meeting on line. It's really crazy. You don't really know who you've been meeting online. He's a married man with 3 kids and he's portraying himself as a single man with no dependants. It's a damn shame. Beware of any TONY that you meet online.

[OhioCentaur]

All of you ladies make very valid very important points.... HOWEVER... you do realize there are women out there playing the same game but doing more damage? I am in no way saying the guy or guys in the stories above were right, i just want a fair shake before this thread turns into a male bashing session.

Jay-Z said it best... Ladies are pimps too...

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally posted by OhioCentaur
All of you ladies make very valid very important points.... HOWEVER... you do realize there are women out there playing the same game but doing more damage? I am in no way saying the guy or guys in the stories above were right, i just want a fair shake before this thread turns into a male bashing session.

Jay-Z said it best... Ladies are pimps too...

The difference is that these ladies have shared personal accounts of the wrongdoings. You are "just putting it out there" for balance. Share a personal account of something to give it validity.

[OhioCentaur]

My 2nd year in college i was talking to a girl thru blackplanet who was getting ready to graduate. We had talked for a couple quarters before we started going out on dates and doing stuff together. One day i decided i'd try to do something out of the ordinary, so i bought flowers... candy... and a 5 foot bear... all of which where her favorites... i show up at her door to find some guy all in her face yelling and goin crazy.... there were also a set of twin boys crying and pulling on the guys jacket. I confront the guy and tell him to get out her face, and he and i get into a fight... after we are separated we talk about what the heck is going on... come to find out this chick has twin boys by this guy and he was complaining because he was being forced to pay child support on kids he was the sole provider for and she forgot to pick them up from school one day and they stayed there til after dark. I was so embarrassed and pissed at the same time. but thats not the end of it... me and the guy talked awhile cuz i took him and his boys to lunch... he told me she left him at the altar... on the same day we took our first date.... you talk about utter disbelief.

So i do feel you ladies on being played. It aint no joke. I just wanted to make sure it was clear both genders have some #ucked up folks lol.

[Boom_Quack13]

Wow! That is truly messed up.

[Reds6]

Originally posted by aquafina03
I found myself chatting with a guy I met from blackplanet. He seemed pretty cool. He had decent convo on the net and over the phone. We never met in person though which is a good thing. There were somethings about him that didnt add up so I figured it was cool just to conversate from time to time.

How about today I get a call with a Maryland area code. I didnt answer of course. I decided to call it back. I figured someone had the wrong number. How about it was a women that answered when I called back. This women asked me did I know a man by the name of Jeremey Stevens. I had to think because I really forget that I had spoked with this guy. I then said, "Yes, I know Jeremey!" She says, " Well this is his wife!" I am in complete shock. I then tell her how I met him. I even gave her his "screen name" on blackplanet and yahoo messenger. She tells me that she got her phone bill and it was extremely higher than normal and had numbers from different women on it. All the times that I spoke with this Jeremey he never mentioned that he was married. To be honest I never asked either. I really felt sorry for this woman because I could hear their children playing in the background. Yes, he had children also. The woman seemed very hurt that he would do something like this to her and she said she was trying to track him down. I hope she doesn't kill him!

Anywayssssssss...For those women reading this I hope that you be careful of these men on the net. If you are married and your husband spends a lot of time on the net, be careful as well. Who knows who he is talking to. You never know who is behind that screen in cyberspace. You just never know. So many of us women have went to the extreme to finding friends, love, convo, etc. on the net. It seems like a good idea when all else fails and to be honest its not always bad. I know I have learned something from this. Everything that glitters isn't always gold or whatever the saying is. Its so weird that this Jeremey guy had just called me the night before and then his wife calls. Wow! Just think if I had decided to meet up with him??

Is there anyone else out there that has had an experience like this? I know I am not the only one!!!

Interesting, the SAME THING happened to me this weekend. And the dude lives in Maryland. The horrible thing is that we have been seeing each other since November. There were no signs he was married and the only reason I talked to him is because we ended up knowing several people in common, but I guess not enough.

[DirectorDST1999]

We need to write a book. The same thing happened to me in November. I decided then that I will no longer use the internet as an avenue to meet men. Even the so called "legit" sites are not the best avenues...you know the ones you pay for. I had known this guy for quite a while. He's been to my parents' home, dined with us, I drove his car, met his teenaged son, been to the house, job and absolutely NO sign of a wife.

I received a phone call in the late night hour...very similar to your call aquafina. I was devastated, angry and sick to my stomach after getting the call. The wife and I continued to talk up through Christmas until I decided if she were to heal, talking to me wasn't helping. The bad thing about it is they just had a baby, a 2 month old. The wife had a C-section at that!!! We had him on three-way and he denied knowing me. LOL He told us both to have a nice life and to pray for him.

What's so strange is after talking to the wife, I realized we had had many things in common. It was almost like we were identical. The last time I spoke to the wife, she left him. We prayed together and I wished her well and she did the same. As for the guy, I told him to forget he ever knew me and lose my information.

I do have a new outlook on internet meeting and dating. But on the other hand, I've meet men in person that have been just as shady as the ones online. I've kissed dating goodbye and I'm enjoying the single life.

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by OhioCentaur
All of you ladies make very valid very important points.... HOWEVER... you do realize there are women out there playing the same game but doing more damage? I am in no way saying the guy or guys in the stories above were right, i just want a fair shake before this thread turns into a male bashing session.

Jay-Z said it best... Ladies are pimps too...

*Rain Man chuckles in agreement*

Sho' you right, Ohio Centaur.

SHO' YOU RIGHT 'BOUT THAT!

[Reds6]

Originally posted by DirectorDST1999
We need to write a book. The same thing happened to me in November. I decided then that I will no longer use the internet as an avenue to meet men. Even the so called "legit" sites are not the best avenues...you know the ones you pay for. I had known this guy for quite a while. He's been to my parents' home, dined with us, I drove his car, met his teenaged son, been to the house, job and absolutely NO sign of a wife.

I received a phone call in the late night hour...very similar to your call aquafina. I was devastated, angry and sick to my stomach after getting the call. The wife and I continued to talk up through Christmas until I decided if she were to heal, talking to me wasn't helping. The bad thing about it is they just had a baby, a 2 month old. The wife had a C-section at that!!! We had him on three-way and he denied knowing me. LOL He told us both to have a nice life and to pray for him.

What's so strange is after talking to the wife, I realized we had had many things in common. It was almost like we were identical. The last time I spoke to the wife, she left him. We prayed together and I wished her well and she did the same. As for the guy, I told him to forget he ever knew me and lose my information.

I do have a new outlook on internet meeting and dating. But on the other hand, I've meet men in person that have been just as shady as the ones online. I've kissed dating goodbye and I'm enjoying the single life.

I never did the internet thing, and I found most men on there busta's. The guy I dated was the first one to contact me and the funny thing is I wasn't interested, but talking to him I found out we knew a lot of the same people. I alos wasn't interested because I thought he was to nice. So we talked on the phone, all hours and all day. We eventually started what I thought was a committed relationship. He told me he loved me really early, which was starnge to me and he wanted me to fall in love with him. He told me he was divorced with one child and that his ex-wife was a neglectful mother. He told me about other relationships. He talked about our children growing up together as brothers, taking family vacations, swapping keys, the whole nine. Just one thing he decided to leave out, he was still married and he had not one but 2 children. When I tell you there were no signs, there were NO signs! We talked all the time, morning noon and night. We have been everywhere together, he wasn't hiding. But guess what this past Saturday his wife called me. Her and I talked and I spilled the beans. The messed up part of it is that her and I are in the same circle. Now he is made at me because I told her the truth. The sad thing is she will probably stay and she told me there have been other women in the mix.

[aquafina03]

Thats funny. The guy I met is from Maryland but is in Nashville at the moment. lol We may be speaking about the same person. To set the record straight, our conversations only started a month ago so i was not mad about it. I just thought it was crazy that some woman was calling. That has never happened to me before.
Someone above was correct. It doesnt matter where you meet someone. You can meet someone at a gas station and they might be married. What happened to being faithful in a marriage? Has that been thrown out the door? What happened to being respectful to your mate? Situations like these can make a person afraid to get married or even close to someone. However, I will not let it stop me from dating. That right person will come along one day. You just have to be cautious with everyone. Guard your heart at all times in the beginning because you just never know!