Contempt of Court...

[DeltAlum]

Southern Grandma
>
>
> Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
> prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
> attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to
> the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>
> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
> since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
> disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
> manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
> you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
> never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
> Yes, I know you."
>
> The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
> across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
> attorney?"
>
> She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
> he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
> drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
> anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
> state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
> different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
>
> The defense attorney almost died.
>
> The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench,
> and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards
> asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses
> in jail for contempt."

[KillarneyRose]

ROFL! Thanks for the laugh, DA

[wrigley]

Thanks DA that story was a nice pick me up.

[honeychile]

Two thumbs up!!

[aephi alum]

I like it! LOL

[chitownxo]

I had a totally cruddy day, but this turned it around! Thanks for providing a much-needed laugh!

[Tom Earp]

D A, Love it!

Maybe this will go along with it also!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.


3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?


4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!


5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.


6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.


8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?


9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone as ks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?








Why do some seem so lost in the world?