Recommending "Cyber Friends"

AKA2D '91 · #1 01-09-2006, 12:11 PM

GCers,

This subject or something similar was posted some time ago on Chit Chat or Greek Life (I believe). I wondered if any of you would recommend your cyber buddy(ies) from GC or other cyber message boards for jobs, placement with volunteer agencies, memberships with organizations, etc.? If so, have you actually met the person? How long did you know the person? How were you able to determine his or her character traits?

Has anyone asked you to write them a letter of recommendation? Did you accept or decline the request?

btb87 · #2 01-09-2006, 12:34 PM

Wow. . . good question.

I don't think I'd have a problem giving (job) references for GCers that I've come to know for the past nearly 3 years. Typically for the ones that I talk with online, I know things like how long they've been on the job, their work ethics, etc. My general feeling is that if they've been on the job for a long time, then they should have a pretty decent work ethic.

How do I determine character traits? This may be hard to tell a potential employer, but from our personal conversations, I could tell that this person is a hard worker, dedicated to his/her craft, etc.

Membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha? There are some that I've come in contact with that were respectful, appear to be hardworking, and going about things in the proper manner. I "know" of one young lady that I think I wouldn't regret recommending for membership. Would I do it? Probably not, because I haven't seen her in action - I don't know her well enough to recommend her. As everyone knows, we can be who we want to be online, but I still believe that some of the real "you" has to come out at some point.

onlyme · #3 01-09-2006, 01:07 PM

I wouldn't recommend anyone I met online for a job, AKA, or anything. As Soror BTB said, "we can be who we want to be online" and that is what I find scary.

I have a hard time recommending people I know in "real" life as it is just because my rep is on the line if they aren't what I promoted someone to be, so I can't imagine recommending an online buddy.

unspokenone25 · #4 01-09-2006, 01:49 PM

Co-sign with what Sorors btb87 and onlyme said! This goes for any organization especially my AKA. I have got to know you personally! Heck, even if I do know you personally doesn't mean anything if I feel that you aren't qualified to be any organization that I am apart of or have a particular job.

However, in the legal profession where there aren't there many black people to begin with, if a Soror contacted me to help her w/ a job in the area of law, I would be more willing to help out. Also, I would refer Sorors to other Sorors that are attorneys as well.

Steeltrap · #5 01-09-2006, 02:16 PM

In terms of AKA, I would have to say that I couldn't sponsor anyone, even if I meet them in person. I'm just that concerned about what I may be bringing in, and to be honest, my own rep. My chapter is functional, intimate and well-run, and I don't want to potentially bring in a loose cannon or a non-worker.

Character refs are a different thing -- I would again, only do it for those who I know (mainly sorors).

AKA2D '91 · #6 01-09-2006, 02:52 PM

Sorors,

Thanks for the responses thus far. Memberships should not be limited to only AKA. Memerbships can include organizations like local social clubs, Jack and Jill, or other organizations that you belong to which require or may require recommendations.

RedefinedDiva · #7 01-09-2006, 04:46 PM

As far as "friends," I would have to agree with the majority here and say that I would not. When a person is doing a wonderful job, it's all good. But as soon as this person messes up, doesn't come to meetings, etc., y'all know the first question is "Who brought/recommended/sponsored him/her?" I know I do it!!

However, once I get to know a Soror that I have met online, I would probably help them out if I could. "We help each other...."

darling1 · #8 01-09-2006, 05:06 PM

i have no problem saying to someone, "oh, you should look into xyz organization, i volunteer with them and it might be a great fit". or "you should look into this company for a job". as far as putting my name out there on behalf of someone, i would have to know that person for a time and more than likely have met that person before i extend myself like that.

if in a position to write a recommendation, i wouldnt. im very cautious about putting my name out there like that and im not trying to be embarrassed.

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
GCers,

This subject or something similar was posted some time ago on Chit Chat or Greek Life (I believe). I wondered if any of you would recommend your cyber buddy(ies) from GC or other cyber message boards for jobs, placement with volunteer agencies, memberships with organizations, etc.? If so, have you actually met the person? How long did you know the person? How were you able to determine his or her character traits?

Has anyone asked you to write them a letter of recommendation? Did you accept or decline the request?

onlyme · #9 01-09-2006, 05:22 PM

You're right. My feelings remain the same though, I still couldn't recommend a "cyber buddy" to any organization, let alone our beloved AKA. No matter how great my cyber buddy is, I am too worried about something going wrong and it all coming back on me.

Great topic!

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
Sorors,

Thanks for the responses thus far. Memberships should not be limited to only AKA. Memerbships can include organizations like local social clubs, Jack and Jill, or other organizations that you belong to which require or may require recommendations.

btb87 · #10 02-03-2006, 01:32 PM

So why did I just now (like 5 minutes ago) have a former student that I haven't seen in probably 2-3 years come in here and ask me if I would write a letter of recommendation for her?

Didn't know her from Adam's housecat.

Told her I didn't feel comfortable doing it.

Gave her my card and told her to keep me informed.

AKA2D '91 · #11 02-03-2006, 03:11 PM

Lawd! Adam's housecat.

LOL @ Keep me informed!

Ideal08 · #12 02-03-2006, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
GCers,

This subject or something similar was posted some time ago on Chit Chat or Greek Life (I believe). I wondered if any of you would recommend your cyber buddy(ies) from GC or other cyber message boards for jobs, placement with volunteer agencies, memberships with organizations, etc.? If so, have you actually met the person? How long did you know the person? How were you able to determine his or her character traits?

Has anyone asked you to write them a letter of recommendation? Did you accept or decline the request?

I would only recommend someone I have met and hung out with in real life, and then only if I felt they were worthy of the recommendation. But someone that I simply chat with online? I don't think so. Not for a job, an apartment, AKA, anything.

No, no one has ever asked me. Don't ask, I will decline.

rho4life · #13 02-03-2006, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
As far as "friends," I would have to agree with the majority here and say that I would not. When a person is doing a wonderful job, it's all good. But as soon as this person messes up, doesn't come to meetings, etc., y'all know the first question is "Who brought/recommended/sponsored him/her?" I know I do it!!

/hijack -This made me laugh. In our chapter we have several legacies. Whenever one does something silly, the rest of us are like - that's your family.

But when they do something wonderful, we're all quick to claim them

-end hijack/

I wouldn't recommend someone I met online for a job unless I had met them in person too. As said before, it's toooo easy to hide and pretend to be someone else online.

Boom_Quack13 · #14 02-05-2006, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
GCers,

This subject or something similar was posted some time ago on Chit Chat or Greek Life (I believe). I wondered if any of you would recommend your cyber buddy(ies) from GC or other cyber message boards for jobs, placement with volunteer agencies, memberships with organizations, etc.? If so, have you actually met the person? How long did you know the person? How were you able to determine his or her character traits?

Has anyone asked you to write them a letter of recommendation? Did you accept or decline the request?

Heck no!