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  #1  
Old 12-05-2005, 12:18 AM
winnieb winnieb is offline
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Location: why? are you planning on visiting me?
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Craigs List missed connection

I was reading the KC board-- and found this....
I was rather amused- it is much better than the usual "white car at 1st and main - who are you"

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/mis/112821572.html

I know we got off on the wrong foot, what with my drunken disorderly behavior and my suggestion that as a taxpayer I'm entitled to ask you for a hummer, but I felt like we shared a moment. From what I could see before you squirted pepper spray into my eyes and judo chopped me in the larnyx, your nipples were totally hard. Sure, that could just be a gal enjoying her job, but I think you and I had a connection.

And don't tell me that GI Joe kung-fu grip on my testicles was all business. There was some caressing going on, or at least it felt that way before you crushed them purple. But don't worry, the ER doc assures me at least one of them will continue to produce sperm, which means you and I can have lots of little state troopers together.

So let's not let your job and my occasional lawbreaking ruin a good thing, sweetie. Put down that doughnut and shoot me an email. I know you're not supposed to fraternize with types like me, but I can't lie, a hot chick with a gun and handcuffs gives me a rock-hard boner. And you had your hands down there -- you know this ain't a misdemeanor I'm packing, if you know what I'm saying.

Write back soon, lover. Don't make me break the law again just to see you.
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  #2  
Old 12-05-2005, 12:45 PM
GeekyPenguin GeekyPenguin is offline
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I love these things, I read them in class a lot.
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  #3  
Old 12-05-2005, 12:55 PM
Rudey Rudey is offline
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Join Date: May 2001
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Not funny and lacks sincerity and originality.

-Rudey
--Sounds like a bad knockoff of the guy who was arrested for public urination and dealt with the cop
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  #4  
Old 12-05-2005, 09:10 PM
HotDamnImAPhiMu HotDamnImAPhiMu is offline
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I heart the missed connections! Especially the bitter ones.
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  #5  
Old 12-06-2005, 06:29 PM
recentASAalum recentASAalum is offline
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that is just too funny and so well-written!!!
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