Translating Dating Theory Into Practice

Jestor · #1 09-11-2005, 01:30 AM

Simply put, how do I do it? At the Sigma Chi party tonight, there were many attractive girls who I knew weren't dating any of the brothers who I would have liked to have talked to and danced with, gotten to know some.

Problem being, I stayed silent virtually the entire night and only talked with my new brothers and a few of their girlfriends.

Now I understand the theory behind dating and how to approach a girl, etc. In fact, in one of the world's greatest ironies, both guys and gals that are my friends usually come to *me* for relationship advice, even though it's been over two years since I was last in *any* kind of relationship, and I got burnt really bad on that one.

About six months ago, there was this girl I was interested in and an extremely common theme developed; the one where I become a close confidant and someone who's like their best friend, only in guy form.

I finally asked her out specifically on a date after hanging out with her one on one a few times. She freaked and things got really estranged between us then.

So I guess I'm wondering how exactly I take the theoretical principles I intuitively know and have learned over the years and translate them into actual, physical performance.

BobbyTheDon · #2 09-11-2005, 01:40 AM

You have these big fucking fangs man. And she's like this little cute bunny rabbit.

Grow some balls and ask for her number.

Then call her that same night.

Call her again. Try and leave a message on her answering machine.

Once you're message gets cut off, call again.

Call again.

Call again.

call again.

Call again.

Call again.

Call again. let her know it's not her. It's you.

Betarulz! · #3 09-11-2005, 03:19 PM

You my friend have become an intellectual whore.

Bobby's right, you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?

But seriously, the website below will explain everything, and why this last girl freaked and all that.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

you're probably so money that you don't even know it.

Jestor · #4 09-11-2005, 03:30 PM

Yep, I'm quite familiar with Ladder Theory. One of my best friends in my hometown and I even had a precursor variant of it called "The Friends Zone".

And I know that's exactly why she freaked, but it didn't really bother me too much when she did. I was just like, "Oh well, kind of saw that coming, but I had to give the shot anyway."

And I now have one of the old high school cheers from my alma mater going through my head

"Be-e Aggressive Be-e Aggressive BE-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E BE AGGRESSIVE!"

...It's sad how many of them I can still remember even though I never was a cheerleader.

valkyrie · #5 09-11-2005, 03:47 PM

I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about with fangs and bunnies and ladders, and I'm a girl so who knows if I can even say anything helpful.

In my opinion, if you dig someone, something physical has to happen ASAP, otherwise you end up in the friend zone.

James · #6 09-11-2005, 05:55 PM

Thats some good advice lol . .

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about with fangs and bunnies and ladders, and I'm a girl so who knows if I can even say anything helpful.

In my opinion, if you dig someone, something physical has to happen ASAP, otherwise you end up in the friend zone.

Jestor · #7 09-11-2005, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about with fangs and bunnies and ladders, and I'm a girl so who knows if I can even say anything helpful.

In my opinion, if you dig someone, something physical has to happen ASAP, otherwise you end up in the friend zone.

That's the thing, though. I'm so conscious of other people's boundaries and not crossing them that I tend to err on the side of caution.

valkyrie · #8 09-11-2005, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jestor
That's the thing, though. I'm so conscious of other people's boundaries and not crossing them that I tend to err on the side of caution.

Don't do that.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #9 09-11-2005, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
Don't do that.

Agreed.

If you want something, go get it. As long as it's not already someone else's...

There have been so many times when long after the fact I have heard from a third party that "so and so really liked you and wnated to ask you out" and my response is always "then WHY DIDN'T HE?" My opinion is if he wants to do it bad enough, then he'll have the balls to do it. Otherwise, I don't much care.

AGDee · #10 09-11-2005, 08:03 PM

I agree with the women here. Just ask a woman to dance. While you're talking to her, make eye contact, touch her hand or forearm while you're talking. Put your hand on her shoulder or around her while you're laughing about something together. And, see my "to kiss or not to kiss" reply.

Also, that dating theory stuff may be true at younger ages (the money/power thing), but as women mature and figure out what's really important in life, those best friends can suddenly become very attractive. And, as valkyrie said, there is some connection that is either there or it isn't, and you can't make it happen no matter what.

AchtungBaby80 · #11 09-11-2005, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
In my opinion, if you dig someone, something physical has to happen ASAP, otherwise you end up in the friend zone.

That's right. Take this advice.

One other thing occurred to me...you might be having the same kind of problem I used to, where I was always really outgoing and flirty around guys I didn't really like but when I was around the guys I would really liked to have gone out with, I clammed up. Result? The wrong guys were always asking me out, and then when I told them I really only wanted to be friends, they were like, "But you were flirting with me!" Plus, all the guys I really liked thought I liked the guys I was really friendly to, so...well, you get the picture.

Jestor · #12 09-11-2005, 11:37 PM

*jots notes*

Thanks guys and gals.

And looking back on it, I do have to admit that I flirt more readily with girls that I have no emotion for. Because in that instance, I don't care what happens in the least and there's no real investment in it. It's just casual, whatever kind of thing.

Now if I get in the right mood, even with the attractive women, I tend to say hell with it and not care... problem is I don't get in the mood very often.

BobbyTheDon · #13 09-12-2005, 03:56 AM

Goose: Yeehaw!, Jestor's dead!
Wolfman: Won this bullshit?
Goose: Didn't everybody?
Hollywood: Hell no, man. We got our butts kicked.
Wolfman: Thirty seconds. We went like this, he went like that. I said to Hollywood, "Where'd he go?" and Hollywood goes ,"where'd whoooo go?"
Hollywood: Yeah, and he's laughing at us, right on the radio, he's laughing at us.
Slider: That was me laughing, dickhead.

BobbyTheDon · #14 09-12-2005, 03:57 AM

Hey man, in all seriousness. Make sure smell good and keep good hygiene. I don't care how good your game is, if you stinky you aint gettin to the pinky...if you know what I mean.

KSigkid · #15 09-20-2005, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jestor
Simply put, how do I do it? At the Sigma Chi party tonight, there were many attractive girls who I knew weren't dating any of the brothers who I would have liked to have talked to and danced with, gotten to know some.

Problem being, I stayed silent virtually the entire night and only talked with my new brothers and a few of their girlfriends.

Now I understand the theory behind dating and how to approach a girl, etc. In fact, in one of the world's greatest ironies, both guys and gals that are my friends usually come to *me* for relationship advice, even though it's been over two years since I was last in *any* kind of relationship, and I got burnt really bad on that one.

About six months ago, there was this girl I was interested in and an extremely common theme developed; the one where I become a close confidant and someone who's like their best friend, only in guy form.

I finally asked her out specifically on a date after hanging out with her one on one a few times. She freaked and things got really estranged between us then.

So I guess I'm wondering how exactly I take the theoretical principles I intuitively know and have learned over the years and translate them into actual, physical performance.

Talk to them - be more aggressive than you're comfortable with (at least at first), but not overaggressive. Go up and talk to them, be relaxed, and if you're interested, make it apparent.

Now, this isn't the easiest thing to do for most guys; it certainly wasn't for me. I just got to the point where being subtle wasn't working, and I just went for it.