When should you say those 3 little words

aRHOgance · #1 07-22-2001, 06:39 PM

OK ladies, here's my situation. I have been seeing this guy-a greek- for the past 8 months. Initially we weren't looking for anything special. Just 2 people having good times together. He is very special to me and takes me to everyone of his frat functions. I know his brothers better than my real family

At any rate, going into month #9, I have STRONG feelings for him. Yes, I do love him and it's killing me not letting him know. So my question is: should I tell him, or just keep it to myself?

SGRho-the only way to go!

MIDWESTDIVA · #2 07-22-2001, 06:45 PM

Call me old fashioned, but I say, let HIM say it first.

Chi_ZETABBW · #3 07-22-2001, 06:54 PM

I'm Old Fashion, but I also believe in saying what you feel, but be prepared for the response, it might not be storybook.
I met my ex-husband in July, third date we were intimate saying we loved each other, married in October, and stayed married 11 beautiful years. We went with the flow, might not work for some, worked for me. same with my current. Been together 5 years, will marry in Vegas in Nov.

aRHOgance · #4 07-22-2001, 07:03 PM

Thanks ladies! I would love for him to say it first, but he's so shy. We would've never even met if I didn't approach him first...

The Original Ape · #5 07-23-2001, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:
Call me old fashioned, but I say, let HIM say it first.

That IS old fashion!

BlueReign · #6 07-23-2001, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
That IS old fashion!

Oh boy, -- hush!!

No, seriously it depends on your age. I noticed what Chi Zeta said and I know that she and I are in the same age "bracket". You know as men get older they tend to be more aggressive in what they want and stating it.

Most of them 30+ have been around the block a few times and know what they want and will tell you before you get away. They know they lose out by trying to be "macho" and not expressing their feelings. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years and he never stops saying "I love you". He said it on our 3rd date. He said it at least 10 times last night and twice this morning!!

I'm a little old fashioned too and would prefer that he say it first. But since you say that it is killing you, then go ahead and tell him. If something happened to him today you would be wishing you had. If he doesn't feel the same way, be prepared to not hear him say it back. He may feel that way but think he is being weak if he says it. But even so he must really, really, really like you a whole lot to take you around like that!

prettypoodle6 · #7 07-23-2001, 01:29 PM

i'd definately tell him!

life's to short to beat around the bush, and you dont want it to be months down the line and you're still pondering the same question.

if thats how you feel, get it out in the open!!! - and if he is shy like you say maybe that will start both of you talking more about his feelings also (and where the 2 of you are headed)

good luck soror!

TRSimon · #8 07-23-2001, 03:32 PM

Since you feel really strongly, you should let him know how you feel. Proceed with caution, because it can be a highly volatile moment in your relationship.

Maybe you could test the waters by discussing the relationship and finding out how he feels about things first. Then you can proceed accordingly. It is always good to express how you feel, but sometimes timing can be everything.

MIDWESTDIVA · #9 07-23-2001, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueReign:

If something happened to him today you would be wishing you had.

That is a good point.

I've said it first twice, but next time, I want to have it said to me first.

aRHOgance · #10 07-23-2001, 06:14 PM

WOW! you ladies are sure on the ball. Well, let me update you all on the situation. Last night I sat and really thought about my feelings and the whole word called"love." I came to the conclusion that it might be a little too strong for him. So I called him up and told him that I have STRONG feelings for him and that I REALLY like him and that I think about him before I go to bed and he's the first person I think about when I get up in the morning. I went on and on, not laying it on too thick, but trying to make my point. At any rate, he was speechless and said that he wanted to see me later this week to "give his response." I wonder what it is, but I realized that I did more good than harm by telling him this. So we'll see what happens...

BlueReign · #11 07-24-2001, 08:24 AM

Great! I'm glad to hear that and I hope his response is a good one.

CodeBlue_R3 · #12 07-24-2001, 09:09 AM

Well I'm 21 and I don't consider myself to be old fashioned just conservative with certain areas. I believe you should definately let him say it first. It has a different effect when they come out and tell you have they feel.

aRHOgance · #13 08-01-2001, 06:08 AM

Ok, for anyone who has been keeping up with my scenario, the update is:
We are currently dating

Thanks for your support!

Imperturbable · #14 08-14-2001, 01:51 PM

If you know deep in your heart that you want to be with this person, and that you would literally do anything including lay down your life, then I say go for it. My warning: don't be disappointed if he doesn't say it back! Also, if he offers you an insincere "I love you too", then you don't be disappointed. It too my boyfriend two months after I said it to realize that he feels the same way too. We've been together now for fifteen months.

NinjaPoodle · #15 08-06-2004, 02:49 PM

If you feel it, say it.There is nothing better than the truth.