Best friend/lover

RHOyal-Silence · #1 08-11-2000, 01:58 PM

have you ever had a male best friend who you were in love with but cannot do anything about your feelings? you cannot act on them possibly because he is in a realtionship or he just is not interested. how would u handle this. could u still be "just friends"?

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the sexiest ladies in the world are laced in rubies and pearls.

A_RHOyal_Delight · #2 08-11-2000, 09:50 PM

This situation is a tough one. The outcomes are hard to handle either way. If you cross that friendship line and it doesn't work out then you are really going to miss the best friend that you once had and you'll probably regret doing it in the first place. The second scenario being that you don't say how you feel and watch this friend with other people, it'll feel like the worst torture. I don't think you should ever mix sex and friends, the combination is not good thing. Sex is an emotional thing.

Delight

blu_theatrics · #3 08-12-2000, 08:25 PM

I have to dsagree with you on the one sorhor.

I am in love with my best friend who happens to be a male.(actually he is one of my best friends, and the othere is a female..we three are very close friends)

We were freinds first and foremost and whe things started moving the other way I think it scared both of us. However luckily we had the other best friend(the girl) to let us know how the other felt which really helped.

But the basic thing is to move SLOW. This is a very different type of relationship, this person is your best friend and knows you inside out. They know that look you have when you are not telling the complete truth. They know what you have done with other relationships in-depth and that is what i think makes it even more special of a bond.

We are not rushing into anything and that really makes it best, but it feels really good when you can't truly say you manis your best friend

kizzie22 · #4 11-27-2001, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by A_RHOyal_Delight
This situation is a tough one. The outcomes are hard to handle either way. If you cross that friendship line and it doesn't work out then you are really going to miss the best friend that you once had and you'll probably regret doing it in the first place. The second scenario being that you don't say how you feel and watch this friend with other people, it'll feel like the worst torture. I don't think you should ever mix sex and friends, the combination is not good thing. Sex is an emotional thing.

Delight

I agree with you SoRHOr....once you cross that line you can never go back to being "just friends" anymore.

prettypoodle6 · #5 11-27-2001, 06:01 PM

i agree that once you cross that line and it doesnt work out, you can never be "just friends" ...but sometimes you can be "better than friends!"

it doesnt always end on a sour note

SeriousSigma22 · #6 11-27-2001, 10:41 PM

Sorors and friends,

This is a very interesting topic and there really isn't an easy answer to this situation. However, sometimes a sista has to take that risk because maybe he is the one (soul-mate) and she will never know unless she takes the relationship to the next level. Just proceed with caution and have fun! She has a fifty-fifty chance for the relationship to work out!

Serioussigma22

prettyone · #7 12-05-2001, 11:03 PM

This topic is so sensitive. I have had feelings for my best friend for the longest, but the main problem is that he lives in Atlanta and I live in Texas. What hurts the most is that he knows that his girlfriends tend to be insecure about me, therefore he shuts me out without realizing. For example on Thanksgiving he couldn't stop by and see me because she was hatin'. I am still pissed about that....

CJUS · #8 12-06-2001, 02:37 PM

Well, this guy is not my best friend, he is a guy that I met in my CJUS classes this semester. He is buff and everything. We like play around with one another in a joking kind of way. All yesterday he was in my face. He really thinks he is god's gift to women. I mean he flirts with everybody. I like him, but I can't cross those boundaries because I have a husband. And I am not about to go there. I just don't know what to do. I am willing to change my class schedule around again so I can be in the same class with him. What to do.

RHOyal-Silence · #9 12-06-2001, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CJUS
... I like him, but I can't cross those boundaries because I have a husband. And I am not about to go there. I just don't know what to do. I am willing to change my class schedule around again so I can be in the same class with him. What to do.

i think u know what u should do. i love men and thank GOD everyday for them, but don't jeopardize your household, or waste your financial aid for this man.

RHOyal-Silence · #10 12-06-2001, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RHOyal-Silence
have you ever had a male best friend who you were in love with but cannot do anything about your feelings? you cannot act on them possibly because he is in a realtionship or he just is not interested. how would u handle this. could u still be "just friends"?

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the sexiest ladies in the world are laced in rubies and pearls.

well we had that "talk" and come to find out he feels the same way

but we thought it would be better to take it slow and see what happens. we are now better friends.