Goodbye Jeff

skajeff · #1 04-18-2005, 12:56 AM

Yeah, so. After tonight, my big bro called me on the cell phone and I answered and he said that the chapter had a consensus on vote for me and that I was going to be held over for a semester and that I will not be going through pre-i this time.

That is all.

Jeff

lifesaver · #2 04-18-2005, 03:39 AM

Sorry to hear that dude.

Some of the best brothers I have seen were hold-overs. I cant speak on behalf of your chapter, I can only make reference to things from my chapter(s). When an AM is held over its usually due to one or more of a following reasons:

1) The brothers feel the AM needed more time to learn about the org. Could have been that the big didnt spend enough time with him.

2) The brothers didnt know the AM well enough and want to get to know him better. Often that means the AM didn't or couldnt come to a lot of chapter events or meetings and might not have spent a lot of time just hanging out with the brothers or other AM's.

If they didnt like you or couldnt see you as a brother, they would have cut you.

Hang in there.

ZetaPhi708 · #3 04-18-2005, 09:58 AM

http://www.lambdachi.org/collegiate/...ventstatus.asp

I don't see the Las Vegas chapter approved for Pre-I this week.

For those of you that have AIM, Jeff's ID is wxjeff. I talked to him some last night on AIM; he seemed thoughfull about the situation and was composing a letter to his big, which is understandable.

More of us need to talk to him, I think.

Stay with it Jeff. Don't give up........

HONKY660 · #4 04-18-2005, 11:45 AM

Don't feel to bad, one of my closest friend and brother was a three time AM, so it could be worse. My chapter holds people over due to grades or chapter participation.

skajeff · #5 04-18-2005, 11:57 AM

Well, after a pretty long conversation with my president, they basically didn't extend me the entrance into pre-i because they didn't know me. They could've kicked me out, yes, but they decided to retain me for next semester.

But, for the record, I do know my shit and yes, I attended every chapter function possible. Commitment is not something I fail to acknowledge.

Jeff

GammaZeta · #6 04-18-2005, 12:23 PM

You attended everything, knew your stuff and you seem like an outgoing person. What they did was really weird. Are you sure there's not some underlying reason or anything? Did you make enemies with anyone?

skajeff · #7 04-18-2005, 12:28 PM

Nah, they just 'didn't know me'. And retaining seems cool, but there was a guy.. who barely showed up to big bro/little bro meetings and never attended a chapter meeting nor chapter events and he is being held over to the next semester. So, I have no clue if being retained is showing that they do really want me to pursue it, or that kicking out people really isn't their thing.

Jeff

skajeff · #8 04-18-2005, 12:39 PM

Word, definately. That's why I am thinking that my future in Lambda Chi Alpha is at its endpoint. I have plans for bringing a chapter onto our campus that isn't social, so who knows.

Jeff

LXAAlum · #9 04-18-2005, 03:18 PM

I would hang in there. Give it a second chance. Perhaps there are some concerns not voiced to you (perhaps they didn't feel comfortable doing so). Work hard with your big brother to find out more "why".

I ran into a similar issue, though it was brought to my attention before the I vote was taken. Even though I knew all the members, there were some that didn't "know" me. Just going to parties and functions sometimes isn't enough. My big told me who some of them were, and I made it a point to find times to hang out and get to know them, and me, better. I think it helped. There were some perceptions I think they had of me that just weren't true, but they didn't really know me that well to know for sure.

But the best advice I can give you is what my big gave me: don't give up. If you want it bad enough, others will see it. Don't be afraid to confess faults.

Tom Earp · #10 04-18-2005, 05:58 PM

Jeff, I can only echo what Brothers like LXAAlum and lifesaver have passed on to you.

It is a plus to You that the Zeta is holding you over and not just dismissing you.

There may be many things that We as Cyber Brothers are not aware of and only You know. But, do not give up the ghost. Just prove to them that You will be a Brother that all of us think you can be and will be.

There are many out in LXA Dom who have been there before and have become great Brothers. Remember, with Our Associate Membership, you can still participate in what the Chapter does.

I was one of the lucky ones when I was kicked out of SX as a Pledge, and the rest is History.

lenoxxx · #11 04-18-2005, 11:05 PM

Ok now!

I've never heard of the "hold over" AM thing, we never did that, and I cannot personally relate to it (stopping the AM process before initiation? say what?). Maybe it is done somewhere.

Peace

Lenoxxx

skajeff · #12 04-18-2005, 11:29 PM

Yeah, I'm definately sorry about posting this on here, didn't know it'd turn this way.

I'm definately reconsidering Greek Life.. again for the second time. Maybe I'm not cut out for it, moving on would be leaving Greek Life because I'm not up to looking at a third fraternity. You'll have to ask me specifically about what happened to the first one, but I was damn determined to make this one a reality.

I'm definately into this fraternity and the chapter was awesome, I just don't know. I'm confused on why one of my brothers made it through. Now here is what I've came up with, after speaking with brothers and other people outside of it.

Basically there were four associate members. Now, two are advancing to pre-i and two of us are held over, A and B are the ones going through it and C is the one who is being held over with me. Now, A is a hold over from last semester. He was held over because of grades, nothing else.

B went through the AM ceremony with me. He wasn't well versed in the actual learning portion of our AM period, but he definately hung out with some of the brothers, playing beer pong and drinking. I spent time with "B" and helped him out with the learning shit that he needed to know. More on him later.

Now, C.. the guy who is held over with me, is a guy from last semester. On his way to Greek 101, he was attacked with a knife and whatnot, so.. he was hospitalized, but now he has been 100 percent since before this semester. During this semester, he hasn't attended any chapter meetings, philanthropy events, intramural events, socials, parties, nothing.. only thing he attended was the big bro/little bro meetings and he didn't even attend the important ones.

He was HELD-OVER this semester so he could do it this semester, but even then.. they held him again over. Now he said that his classes were fucked.. and that the fraternity was like, "this semester doesn't count". None-the-less, I'm in the same group as this guy who wasn't committed at all.

I worked my ass off, was committed and everything. It suprised a lot of people today when I told them the news. I think it's fucked up to be held over with a guy who didn't do anything. He was back up to par and failed to go to anything whereas I went to everything and hung out.

Now, if I wasn't known so much to the brothers.. why didn't anyone tell my big bro or me? How can I hang out with the bros if all they want to do.. is go and hang out.. playing beer pong and looking for easy chicks? I went to the house as much as I could, but seriously.. that was the only thing that was happening. Maybe if I drunk and played more, I might've gotten to know the brothers better, but I won't sacrifice my own personal ethics in order to do this.

B hung out with the brothers and played beer pong and drunk, that's all he did. B got into pre-i without really knowing much about the fraternity. A got into pre-i because he is a held-over from last semester and he has his grades up. C is being held over because.. uhm, he didn't have classes so he was then ok to not go to anything. I am being held over because the brothers didn't know me. So, I should've done what B did and I'd make a great impression, or I can be who I am and say 'fuck no, I'm not giving up who I am to join something.'

They might be a "tight-knit group" but I will never sacrifice my personal ethics to get to know the brothers through an avenue that I do not partake in.

Jeff *edited for grammer*

GammaZeta · #13 04-19-2005, 12:10 AM

Dude, don't give up any of your beliefs for a fraternity or change who you are.

Unfortunately that is the world we live in and you are starting to experience. In the real world, the people who get promotions usually aren't the most qualified. Maybe they make the boss laugh. Maybe they suck up. Maybe they sleep with the boss.

A fraternity has many parts to it. It does have a drinking/social part. It does have a traditional and a ritualistic part.

I'll tell ya, I didn't join a fraternity to go through rituals and learn creeds and so on. I did it for the girls, the parties, the fun, the friends. I did it for the brotherhood, the memories.

Keep your head up bro. We would have taken you in if you went to Umass.

RACooper · #14 04-19-2005, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lenoxxx
I've never heard of the "hold over" AM thing, we never did that, and I cannot personally relate to it (stopping the AM process before initiation? say what?). Maybe it is done somewhere, but I'm kind of with Gamma Zeta here, maybe it is time to move on holmes.

I've been both a "hold over" and someone who has advocated holding someone over... and for the most part it comes down to numbers in the voting - ie. enough to grant Associate Membership but not quite enough to initiate - as in either not enough of the guys made an effort to get to know him or sound him out; or that the guy in question didn't make enough of an impression (good or bad) on the members.

This all being said some of the strongest members i've seen in a number of Greek systems are those that where "held-over" - most likely due to the fact the truely dedicated and motivated members stuck with it.

Tom Earp · #15 04-19-2005, 04:37 PM

GammaZeta, while I am sure your Heart is in the right place, some of your remarks are not.

This has nothing to do with Your Zeta, but the fact of a young man trying to get a hang of the what, and why of HIS Situation, not yours.

As you said, You do not know the real situation. Some of your remarks were out of order. A New Associate Member does not dictate to The Active Chapter.

I am sure there are more than one Brother getting tired of your anti remarks towards IHQ, and You are not helping Your situation at Amherst for a re-entry of Charter Status.

Keep it cool and chilled.

As R A Cooper stated, there are hold overs, and there is nothing wrong with that. It does happen for various reasons.

Jeff, please PM Me so we can discuss this off site.