Your Crush and His Ex

TheEpitome1920 · #1 03-24-2005, 01:18 PM

Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?

btb87 · #2 03-24-2005, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?

How can you be sure that he's in a separate room? And if he has no intentions of marrying her, then why isn't he in his own place (or at least have a different roomie elsewhere)?

nikki1920 · #3 03-24-2005, 03:48 PM

No. Too fishy.

Gyrl7 · #4 03-24-2005, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by btb87
How can you be sure that he's in a separate room? And if he has no intentions of marrying her, then why isn't he in his own place (or at least have a different roomie elsewhere)?

And for that matter how do you know that is really his ex??? It could be one of those new age couples who love open relationships, but don't tell many people because many people are not so accepting of them. Sure you have a "crush" on him, but that ex is the only thing standing in the way of your happiness. NOT!

Some people will say that same old tired line, I'm only with her/him because of my child. When in fact it's because of their own selfishness. No one is happy, yet no one will leave. If one is that concerned, they would "for the sake of their child" separate for a minute and not let the child continue to see them unhappy and or sleeping in separate bedrooms. Most kids know how to play "house" and most kids know that in the game of house mommy and daddy sleep together. In short that "for the sake of the kid" is tired and played.

In answer to your question though, heel naw

I wouldn't date them. If they had their own place as btb said, yes I would. Even if they had to move back in with MAMA for a minute until they found their own spot yes I still would. However, that would be my only exception.

_Opi_ · #5 03-24-2005, 04:00 PM

If they were truly living together for the child, they would get married.

So no, I wouldn't try to get into a complicated relationship like that.

TRUBLUBU2 · #6 03-25-2005, 08:44 PM

imho, something isn't right with this situation, and only one person's viewpoint has been presented.

soror, trust me: if a man *really* no longer wants ANYTHING to do with his former lover, he will do EVERYTHING within his power to not be in her presence...

hopefully i'm wrong, but it sounds like this dude is just trying to get others caught up in his web of lies...

SummerChild · #7 03-25-2005, 10:02 PM

Come on now Epitome.

SC

Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?

TheEpitome1920 · #8 03-27-2005, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SummerChild
Come on now Epitome.

SC

Whaaaat? lol. It was just a question to get ya'lls opinion.

BlueReign · #9 03-29-2005, 05:00 PM

Hell no, I wouldn't.

This is why I don't like to get seriously involved with men who have children.

Somehow, they think (or rather are allowed) to have their cake and eat it too.

Glamour Poodle · #10 03-29-2005, 06:25 PM

If it was the other way around no brother I know of who is seriously into a woman would ever go for something like that.
Heck, I do not know too many women with the guts to even say such a thing to a man she is seeing.

It just never ceases to amaze me the types of things that some women will consider going for when their feelings are envolved.

I say this because I personally know of women who have gone along with a simular version of this senario.

DC_Zeta1920 · #11 04-01-2005, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?

If you have to question it....it should automatically signal NO soror

elldawg · #12 04-01-2005, 12:53 PM

My knee-jerk reaction is that is a bad idea. Having said that, if you approach the relationship cautiously, it might work out okay.

AchtungBaby80 · #13 04-01-2005, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TRUBLUBU2
soror, trust me: if a man *really* no longer wants ANYTHING to do with his former lover, he will do EVERYTHING within his power to not be in her presence...

I tend to agree with this, in light of an experience I had with a guy whose ex was still a big part of his life (i.e. they talked regularly, saw each other, etc.) even though he never said a word about it to me and pretended that it wasn't going on. The whole time we were dating I just wondered about it...and I'm so glad I'm not with him because I hated the wondering.

SummerChild · #14 04-01-2005, 02:46 PM

LOL. Whew! Thank goodness.

Yes, I guess that we are in Black Metropolis. Although what is interesting is that I think that although there are more AA here than anywhere in the country, in some parts of the country, we do a little better as a group in terms of numbers of professionals, mobility, the work environment. It's interesting.

SC

Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Whaaaat? lol. It was just a question to get ya'lls opinion.

TheEpitome1920 · #15 04-01-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SummerChild
LOL. Whew! Thank goodness.
Yes, I guess that we are in Black Metropolis. Although what is interesting is that I think that although there are more AA here than anywhere in the country, in some parts of the country, we do a little better as a group in terms of numbers of professionals, mobility, the work environment. It's interesting.

SC

I'm going to my 1st First Friday's tonight. I hope that rings true,lol.