"Baby's Mama"-- the song

[bluethunder]

Okay, let me know what you all think of this one:

This morning, as I drove to work, the new song by the latest American Idol, Fantasia, came on the radio. It's called "Baby's Mama."

Now, let me preface this by saying that I LOVE Fantasia's voice; I rooted for her the whole entire season that she appeared on American Idol last year and I am glad that she won...but I had an issue with this song:

The song is talking about being a "baby's mama" in the sense that she gives props to all the single moms out there who are taking care of business-- going to school, working hard, not looking for a handout, who are striving to be the best moms they can be, despite that they, for whatever reason, are having to do it all by themselves. I, too, give props to all the women out there who are doing this...
however, this song struck a nerve with me in that I don't particularly care for the whole glorification (for lack of a better term) of being a "baby's mama." I in no way condemn anybody for getting pregnant--or impregnating anyone, for that matter-- outside of wedlock; to put it simply, life happens and sometimes we have to adapt and overcome. For those who succeed in so doing, i give credit where it is due. However, as my grandma often said, if you make your bed, you have to lay in it. Nobody HAS TO BE a "baby's mama", nor a "baby's daddy." I mean, you make a child, you are SUPPOSED to take care of it and all the responsibilities that come with it--if you are a male or a female. In our society, when relationships bust, children typically stay with the mother and she shoulders most of the subsequent responsibility; I am not saying this is right, but that's how it tends to be. And I know it is often hard to raise a child while attempting to better oneself, but that's a situation that didn't necessarily have to be...I have issues with calling anybody a "baby's mama" or "baby's daddy" first of all because of what it connotes, but then I wondered A: why do we continue to give props to people who are only doing what they SHOULD be doing, especially in light of the fact that their circumstances are, at least in part, the function of their own doing and B: where is the song for all the ladies who went to school, got an education, got a vocation or career, keep their heads up who made a point NOT to become a "baby's mama"? where's that song at? i mean, what if a man made a song called "baby's daddy" giving props to all the men who, even though they broke up with their lady, continue to pay child support, no matter how much strain it put on their check? Would the implications be the same? What do you all think? What message does this send?