Parents are Anti-Greek

[Rudey]

Have you even encountered this?

For 4 years if any rush ever told me he thought his parents would disapprove of him pledging and becoming a brother, I immediately offered my cell phone and said let's call them together.

From my experience 90% of the time the kid was lying, 5% of the time he worried for no reason and the parents were very approving, and then the other 5% had no idea what fraternities were and then didn't disapprove.

Never did I encounter such strong resistance until one set of parents. I tried everything. I couldn't do it.

Anyone encounter this?

-Rudey

[RACooper]

Happens a little more often up here... usually it requires a call or meeting with the parents to lay-out the benifits of a Fraternity as well as countering the negative perceptions they have of a Fraternity. However I have seen it happen three times while a recruitment chair... it is unusual that you couldn't find a way to remove their major objection, but sometimes the parents are just dead-set against their kid joining and they won't listen to anything you say.

[HeavenslilAngel]

My parents are anti greek. My dad calls glo's "rent a friend clubs"and my mom tells me she wishes I would "drop" my sorority any time money is brought up, which is quite often.

[PM_Mama00]

My parents think it's all about partying. They hate the late nights. But my mom does enjoy the mother-daughter outings.

I became friends with this one guy while he was pledging. One day I called his house because he wasn't at school, and his mom said he was sleeping and then starting goin on and on about how she hates him pledging, he'd doing bad in school, and just kept going. I tried to tell her all the positives and what not, but it wasn't working.

It was also hard because everything she was saying was true. Some of the pledges around that time were known for barely making it in school and not being kicked out during their pledge period. Now they are more academically strict with them.

[AGDee]

My dad is a TKE and was definitely pro-greek, but my mom was totally anti-greek. When they were dating in college, my dad apparently got a lot of flack for not dating a sorority girl since my mom was a GDI. She lightened up when I got her to come to a Mother-Daughter tea and she met some of the amazing sisters I had in AGD. Now, she says, as much as she was against it, she is really impressed with all the good it did me, and that sororities do in general, so it turned her around.

Sometimes, I think they just have to see the good to believe it.

Dee

[33girl]

When parents of rushees were anti Greek I usually asked:

1) Is your dad in the Masons? Is mom in Eastern Star?
2) Do they belong to a country club?
3) How much do they spend on (insert hobby here)?

This usually shuts the parents up.

A lot of parents that grew up in the 1960's & 1970's just had the anti-Greek rhetoric jammed down their throats along with some of the other questionable wisdom of that age (est, anyone?) and don't know any better.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by 33girl
When parents of rushees were anti Greek I usually asked:

1) Is your dad in the Masons? Is mom in Eastern Star?
2) Do they belong to a country club?
3) How much do they spend on (insert hobby here)?

This usually shuts the parents up.

A lot of parents that grew up in the 1960's & 1970's just had the anti-Greek rhetoric jammed down their throats along with some of the other questionable wisdom of that age (est, anyone?) and don't know any better.

cosign.

So many parents equate Greeks with hazing and hazing with drinking and/or deaths - and unfortunately, many chapters don't help change that image. I'd rather explain to a parent that hazing is a very rare event than tell them that their child died as a result of it.

And before you start screaming, "Anti-fun! Anti-fun!", I'm talking about those who are drinking irresponsibly, and are engaging in hazing - not those who are having fun while in school.

[PhoenixAzul]

My mom and dad weren't "anti-greek" persay. My brother pledged and became active in Phi Kappa Tau when he went away, and that completely took everyone by surprise. He took to it like a duck to water, and now his brothers often drop by our house and my mom makes lasagne or meatloaf for them.

They were against me pledging because I was EXTREMELY anti-greek myself. They thought that I'd HATE being around girls. But I found *the* group of girls...I found the perfect chapter and the perfect sisters, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. They think it's been good for me in the long run. I guess they're proud of both of us for being who we are, but my mom's always hard at work making us sets of letters!

[KSUViolet06]

My mother and stepdad are both greek (Omega Psi Phi & Delta Sigma Theta). My dad isn't. He has become more understanding (after being married to my mom for 15 years), and supports my involvement in my organizations because of the service and scholarship aspects.

[absoluteZChi]

My chapter has had to deal with this ALOT!!

Its hard to have the parents understand the benefits of joing while at the same time having them "trust without knowing" why their daughters are doing certain things.

When I pledged it was a battle with my mother, but when I became a member we had a Public Induction where all the parents were invited along with other orgs and friends. I know it made my parents feel so much better about what I did and the headaches I gave them doing it

[ADqtPiMel]

Last semester, one of our most enthusiastic new members ended up leaving before initiation because her parents disapproved so much of the idea of a sorority. They are from India, and their only knowledge of Greek life was from negative stereotypes.

[CarolinaDG]

I know Delta Gamma (and probably other orgs) have parents programs. There's a booklet (EO doesn't do this, it's up to the chapter, but there are examples out there) that a chapter can send home to the parents, explaining the good sides, etc.. Also, many groups have parents clubs... If the parents feel involved, they may be more likely to support it. We didn't do it at my chapter, but I got all the information on it in case we wanted to start it in the future.

[aephi alum]

Sorority PNMs at my school are urged to keep in touch with their parents throughout formal recruitment. They also used to be able to defer their bids for a few days, so they could talk things over with their parents before accepting if they wished.

When I called my parents to let them know that I was rushing, that's when I found out my father is anti-greek. (My mom, having been educated overseas, didn't really have an opinion about the greek system.) I got an earful. It was a happy day for him when I dropped out of FR (for reasons unrelated to him being anti-greek). He went ballistic again when I accepted a bid from my local. But a few weeks later, during parents' weekend, my sorority held a brunch for all our parents. My parents got to meet all my sisters, and were impressed. So I was "allowed" (like they could stop me ) to continue pledging. I was responsible for my own dues, but that wasn't a problem.

I did meet a parent once who was upset because her son had pledged a fraternity and moved into the house without telling her. She showed up at his temp dorm to learn he'd moved out and into a fraternity house. He'd rushed and pledged without telling her because he was sure she'd disapprove. She was upset, all right - not because he joined a fraternity, but because he didn't tell her anything about it, not even "Oh yeah, by the way, I'm living across the river now." !!!

[KatieKate1244]

I don't think my dad is too anti-Greek, as long as I'm paying for it and my grades don't drop. My mom, however, is very anti-Greek. She won't tell me why, but when I was looking at colleges in high school, I made a comment about going Greek and she went off on me. I still haven't told her I'm joining a sorority...I'm putting that off.

[ambición6]

We encounter this quite often especially at our chapters were most students live at home. I know that when I was pledging I had members and my line come to my house to talk to my parents so they could get to know the people I was spending so much time with. Especially being a hispanic female, my parents just thought it completely inappropriate having to be out of the house most of the day and not coming home til late at night.

After I became a member, we encountered other pledges' parents who were even more strict than mine were (mostly the girl pledges). Some of them had to drop out of the process because their parents were threatening to kick them out of their house.