GC's 1001st Race Discussion

[Dionysus]

Watching last Tuesday's Real World got me thinking...

Black, White, Asian, Hispanic....

If you had a friend of a different race who said something subtly racist or fails to understand your culture or struggles...would you ditch him/her? I'm sure this has happened to all of us before, more than once. What did you do in the past?

[_Opi_]

I've never had a friend who made subtle racist remarks to my race..yet. However, I do encounter people who feel that evertime they make references to Africa, its got to be about the animals or remote tribal people, as if there is no such thing as civilization in Africa. My typical response is "we have cities too, you know".


In any case, if I did have a friend who was still persistant on their views, I would simply part ways with them. It's really that simple.


I watched that episode of Real World and I was like @MJ. It was like an inner part of him didn't want to accept that African-Americans ARE treated differently ......

[valkyrie]

Honestly, if someone of another race says something disparaging about white people, it probably wouldn't bother me very much -- if she wasn't saying it to be a complete ass. I wouldn't necessarily expect someone to understand my culture, and, let's be honest, as a white person I really don't have any struggles because of my race and I'm perfectly willing to admit that. I can understand that there are people of other races who have been treated like crap by white people -- and although I'm not one of the white people treating others like crap, I could certainly understand someone's frustration.

[Rudey]

How about the people that "fetishisize" another race?

-Rudey

[breathesgelatin]

Originally posted by Rudey
How about the people that "fetishisize" another race?

-Rudey

That creeps me out. I know a lot of people at W&L that do that. I find it to be patronizing and insulting.

[TheEpitome1920]

Anyone who I consider a friend knows how I feel about race and would not make such comments around me. But if on a crazy day something slipped out we would engage in serious conversation.

[KillarneyRose]

The only thing I can think of that might be remotely applicable happened when I and a (non Christian) friend who lived off campus were heading back to her place after class. As we were walking past the third floor landing up toward her apartment, she saw a small New Testament that someone had set on the railing and she knocked it off, sending it down two stories to the first floor.

I was very offended but didn't say anything. I just shot her a look then walked down to the first floor, picked it up and set it on the table in the vestibule. Then I walked back up to where she was standing and we went into her apartment. She looked sheepish and said she was sorry and that was the last we ever discussed the incident so as far as I'm concerned it's nothing to stew about.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by Rudey
How about the people that "fetishisize" another race?

-Rudey

That was such a huge thing for my ex boyfriend's friends back when he was at his Ivy League college and I thought it was obnoxious. These supposedly intelligent men were walking around talking about scoring with "Hot (insert nationality here) Chicks" like they were Beavis and Butthead

My guess is that they were from small towns and had never had much contact with people who were different than they were, but I still found their behavior childish.

[lifesaver]

Outside of Texas I often hear people refer to hispanics as "mexicans". It always throws me for a loop, becasue not all hispanics are mexicans and you would never make a statement in Texas like I heard in Indy, "So we got to Denver early and decided to hit up this hole in the wall bar and got really piss-drunk with these mexicans that were just hanging out in there."

Wow.

Also, why identify by race? I hate that chit. If its not relevant, leave it out.

[carnation]

What happens with my family (everyone is either mixed, Asian, or Hispanic) is that people forget that we're not lily white because most of the people around us are--and they'll make some crack and then remember. Then they spend the next month apologizing. I hate that.

Of course, there are also people who walk right up and say rude things. My husband is a deacon at church and the church also has a Latino ministry. Last Christmas, this elderly woman walked up to him as he stood with my Guatemalan daughter and me and said, "Here's my Christmas offering. It's not going to any Mexicans, is it?"

[soulfulremix]

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Anyone who I consider a friend knows how I feel about race and would not make such comments around me. But if on a crazy day something slipped out we would engage in serious conversation.

Same here.

[Senusret I]

Originally posted by Dionysus
If you had a friend of a different race who said something subtly racist or fails to understand your culture or struggles...would you ditch him/her? I'm sure this has happened to all of us before, more than once. What did you do in the past?

Honestly, I'm more likely to ditch them than have a conversation about it. I am not obligated to educate someone where their parents failed.

I'm getting too old to take the time out to do such things.....nowadays, everyone I consider a real friend has passed the culture test, so I don't have these types of scenarios like I did in college.

[Taualumna]

This isn't a friend, but last year, when I was a new member of the Junior League, I was introduced to an elderly sustainer (sustainers are women over a certain age and have been in the League for ages and ages) by a friend of mine. The friend said that I played tennis at such and such a club, and told me that the sustainer was a member of that club as well. The sustainer just looked at me strangely, as if she was kind of shocked (or at least it felt like it). Weird, since there have been Asian members since the mid 80s or so.

ETA: If I made the JL sound like a racist organization, then I apologize. It was this specific person who was like this, and I guess it's all due to exposure. The person I was introduced to is probably in her 80s and didn't have same experiences younger people might have had.

[PhiPsiRuss]

When I was 18, I moved into a townhouse with two friends, Alex and Scott. Scott had a fraternity brother, Cliff, who lived in our complex. The four of us were hanging out soon after I moved in. We were talking, and Cliff decided to change the topic to that of groups of people the he hates. "I hate niggers, I hate chincs, I hate kykes," Cliff boasted, at which time I interupted and said, "I'm Jewish." He kept on rolling as if he didn't hear me and said, "I hate spics," at which time Alex said, "I'm hispanic." Alex wasn't technically hispanic, but he is Spanish, by way of Cuba, and he was also offended.

Anyway, I actually became friendly with Cliff, but on my terms. I wasn't going to hide who I was, and he was going to have to change for us to get along. My attitude was that he felt the way that he did because he lived a life that was isolated from these groups of people. I was going to be the one Jew that showed him that we are human.

A year later, Alex and I joined Phi Psi. We didn't join the "top" fraternity that Cliff and Scott belonged to, even though we could.

[Optimist Prime]

Robbie, my friend from work who happens to be black, said "...and I'll tell you who else doesn't tip, black people. We just don't. There's no explaining it."

Anyone who was looking for anything insightful from me is pretty disappointed. Unless you work at a restaurant.