advice pls

[bluemoon]

One of our rushee is in her mid-thirties! I know we cant discriminate base on age, but how can i tell her she is wasting her time by rushing?

[sigma3girl]

Why is she wasting her time?? If she likes your GLO, why don't you kindly offer her the option to pursue AI (if it's an option)? Maybe she'd have more incommon and more to offer an org as an AI....IMO.

[Kevin]

Actually, you can discriminate based on age. Many organizations have bylaws that disallow people above a certain age to join.

I think my fraternity requires new members to be under 25. Otherwise, they must pursue alumni initiation which requires a vote of our High Council.

[KSUViolet06]

My chapter's newest NM is 28 and a senior here @ KSU graduating in May. She took a a year off after HS and also transferred twice. She has the spirit and personality of a 19 year old though so it's not really like being in a chapter with your mom or anything like that.

I think it really depends on the person. If this woman understands that the women in the chapters are going to be alot younger and is the type of 30 yr old that can connect with women younger than herself, then she should go for it.

On the other hand, if you know that this woman -despite her age- couldn't connect with your sisters, then maybe you should suggest AI.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

If she's still in college, she won't be able to do AI with most orgs.

If she's in college, and going to be there for a few years, understands that she's older than the average collegian, and still wants to be a productive member of the group, what's the problem?

No offense, but she's probably more mature than most of the NM's and could probably off quite a bit to the chapter. And just because she's in her 30's doesn't mean she can't get along and have fun with women in their 20's (I should know, I'm in my 30's).

Personally, I think it would be discriminatory (whether it's right or wrong).

[33girl]

For everyone suggesting AI - it's ALUMNAE intiation. Not "if you're over a certain age or had a crappy rush" initiation. She's not an alum, she's a college student. I don't mean this as harsh as it sounds, but it seems like everyone offers AI up as a solution for "problem" rushees and that's not what it's supposed to be for.

I have no idea what your school is like, so it's hard to say if she could receive a bid - there are more and more nontrad students out there every day - but even if every other rushee is an 18 year old freshman, it's her decision. If she wants to "waste her time" as you put it, it's HER time to waste.

[KSUViolet06]

Sorry, I meant more to suggest looking into it after graduation. I do understand that AI is not just "quick fix" for a crappy rush as many GC AI's probably know.

[adpiucf]

If she isn't a good fit for your chapter, cut her. It is that simple. Ignore her age for a moment:

1) Does this woman meet your GPA requirements?
2) Does she have sufficient previous campus involvement, either in HS or previous college?
3) Does she have sufficient community service background?
4) DOES SHE FIT IN WITH THE OTHER WOMEN IN YOUR CHAPTER? Could you imagine taking road trips together, studying together, hanging out in the TV room gossiping about the upcoming socials and date parties? Is she someone you would want as your friend?

Number 4 is critical... regardless of age, don't select a PNM for your chapter unless she fits with the other members. No she doesn't have to be a clone, but if everyone gets along well with her and likes her, then invite her back. If you can't see her as a sister, then cut her. Age is irrevlevant there.

[dzandiloo]

Every once in a while, we hear about fraternities bidding non-trad students...it usually works out pretty well for them, but so goes the fact that sororities and fraternities are different animals when it comes to recruitment.

What's been said above is all good info. Bottom line, you shouldn't recruit someone who simply isn't a good fit.

Bearing that in mind, here' s a related story:
Several years ago, a woman in her 40's went through formal recruitment at my alma mater. She was a returning student, I can't remember if she was just finishing up what little she lacked from her first time in college b/f she had kids, or if she was getting a second degree. Anyway, everyone ADORED her, and she very clearly loved DZ. She was invited to Pref, but did not match before we filled quota...I'm sure there were reservations on the chapter's part to having someone who was their mother's age in their pledge class, but they still loved her.

We extended an invitation to her to join by AI-and it worked out great b/c she was a non-traditional student who probably would not have enjoyed some of the activities geared to the younger/traditional students, but since she was a permanent resident of the community, we knew she would be able to contribute alot to the organization by just being there. She was able to attend New Member meetings (her choice, but not required), learn all the history & was initiated at the same time as the new member class. She is still an active alum in the community, from what I hear.

Let the lady finish recruitment, and let the cards fall where they may. If she does not receive a bid, but is interested in pursuing AI eventually, she can seek it out like anyone else who meets the specific guidelines of the organizations.

[ADPiAkron]

I remember my first year as Recruitment Chair there was a married woman in her late twenties/thirties that came through Rush. I do not remember why she started so late or whatever, but I know her husband was an active TKE and she thought it would be fun! Kappa Kappa Gamma gave her a bid and as far as I know she was a wonnnnnnderful member! So don't judge a book by its cover!

But it may matter if the school is the type that only really takes Freshman-- you know what I mean?! What school is it or what type is it? Big greek school?

[WCUgirl]

Originally posted by JocelynC
My chapter's newest NM is 28 and a senior here @ KSU graduating in May. She took a a year off after HS and also transferred twice. She has the spirit and personality of a 19 year old though so it's not really like being in a chapter with your mom or anything like that.

My first thought was, "How can you be sure that's not Alexandra Robbins in disguise?"

edited to fix some formatting

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Originally posted by AXiD670
My first thought was, "How can you be sure that's not Alexandra Robbins in disguise?"

edited to fix some formatting

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously though...we've had some older people come through rush, er recruitment. A women in her mid to late 20's came to our info sessions. She was nice and all, but the fact that she kept talking about her kids bugged us out. One of the frats had "Blue" a year ago, who was like 32 or something. He ended up getting married last fall...and having the reception at the house. Let me add that the house is not one of these gorgeous greek revival houses or something. Its a POS. And if I were the bride, I would have divorced him on the spot.

[shadokat]

33, co-sign to you!! As for the woman's age, etc., I can't imagine an over 30 year old woman believing she will mesh with a group of 18-22 year olds. I go to chapters sometimes to do visits and what not, and at 30, I can honestly say I'd NEVER be able to be a collegiate member again! Too much drama Alum initiation is an option after she's out of school, and if your chapter likes her a lot, sponsor her when she's graduated. Otherwise, go with how the chapter votes and let the chips fall where they may!

[bluemoon]

Thanks for the reply everyone!

To answer some of your questions:
Our school is not big on greek life nor is our chapter a traditional one. For one thing, our rush period is a lot longer than other GLOs. We have 10 events. The rushees are required to attend at least 4 in order to be considered for a bid. So 4 days out of 2 weeks can be considered time-consuming for her. We dont want her to go through that and be told she didn't make it. which is very likely because most of the girls are uncomfortable around her because of her age. We dont want to waste money on her too cuz our events (dinner,drinks, entertainment and such) are quite expensive.If she's using us for all the freebies, we dont want her anyways!

[33girl]

Originally posted by bluemoon
Thanks for the reply everyone!

To answer some of your questions:
Our school is not big on greek life nor is our chapter a traditional one. For one thing, our rush period is a lot longer than other GLOs. We have 10 events. The rushees are required to attend at least 4 in order to be considered for a bid. So 4 days out of 2 weeks can be considered time-consuming for her. We dont want her to go through that and be told she didn't make it. which is very likely because most of the girls are uncomfortable around her because of her age. We dont want to waste money on her too cuz our events (dinner,drinks, entertainment and such) are quite expensive.If she's using us for all the freebies, we dont want her anyways!

Is this formal rush? Can you cut her from your parties? Are you an NPC?

Unless you have parties where people can only come if they're invited, there's really nothing you can do about it. I'm sure there will be younger students you'll be "wasting money" on when they don't choose to pledge.