ebay etiquette

[honeychile]

I've been updating our lists, and reading the posts concerning sisters bidding on pins, and I truly think we need to develop some guidelines as to what is and is not acceptable while bidding on Alpha Delta Pi merchandise on ebay.

I would like to see some dialogue on this, which can then be posted on PO. It should be understood that a sister who gets on the "safe list" should show courtesy to another sister. This can be through emailing other bidders with an explanation of why you want that particular item, or through GC & PO, or whatever.

I feel a little strange about keeping a "safe list" and have it cause disunity.

The floor is open, let's talk this out...

[suwhitestl]

I think the first thing to do with regard to this is find out what the official policy on ADPi pins or historical items is from EO.

Then find a way to make it work with ebay or make a suggestion to update the policy. This may include a proposal to the foundation or some other group to create an official fund for saving things from ebay.

With the freedom of the internet and ebay - it should be an organization policy if you all want anyone to follow it. It certainly should be led by the women who have an interest in ebay and are trying regularly to protect the history of the sorority.

It doesn't seem to me that there ever was a clear written/documented policy on ADPi items in the COB or elsewhere. Except regarding the Alpha Pins - which clearly state they are property of the chapter and are loaned to the alpha member during her pledge period.

I wish this hadn't gotten so difficult and expensive. There isn't any one of us that saw the ADPhi pin that wouldn't have wanted it for ourselves or for the sorority.

[jwright25]

i agree.... the problem will arise when there is something of great value to all of us that is exceedingly scarce, if you know what i mean. someone can say, "i really really want this" when another sister feels the exact same way. so it's tough to say first come first served when obviously not all sisters that use ebay use GC. i may have been "one of those people" who outbid some of you prior to my finding this site!!

i agree that we don't want our badges or other paraphernalia in the hands of non-sisters or collectors. i just worry about who holds the trump card on a particularly rare item that many of us desire.

unfortunately i have no solutions or suggestions to add to the policy. just wanted to throw in my $.02.

also, honey, my ebay screen name is jwright25 too if you are updating the list anytime soon. that was one of the first places i ever had to register with a screen name, and that's the one they suggested, so it has become my name for everything everywhere!!

[ADPiShannan]

Ive used ebay to purchase ADPi items since I came in in 99. I did not know of a safe list until I joined GC this year, but before then I was a college kid and didnt bid on any pins since I didnt have that kind of money.

I will say ots a hard situation. So many people all over the US who use ebay and have family or friends who know they are ADPi and may bid for them to get a pin.

My thing is this. If you are ON the safe list and know the person you are bidding against is on the safe list, I really think you need to message them and try to come to an agreement. Theres been many pins Ive wanted and someone has messaged me and said, I really really want this pin and Ill back off because they are my sister and as long as a sister is getting it, Im fine with it.

I do have a sort of request if we do decide to have a understanding with people on the pin safe list, IF you have emailed someone and begged to get a pin and they back off, PLEASE make sure you can get it. I know Ive seen pins other people were bidding on, not me, and they may have forgotten about it or something and in the last minutes a collector comes in and the other person doesnt bid again. I know if its in the last seconds its too hard to, but if you are bidding on something that means that much to you that you had others not bid on it, make sure you can be home when the auction ends to make sure you get the pin.

For me the BIGGEST thing, is to save the pins. I know people collect and that is really nice and all, but I dont want the pins all going to collectors when they can go to a sister who understands about the pin, it means more to, and they will take good care of it. Or else EO where it can be preserved.

Now, EO knows we have a pin rescue. The thing with it is we cant get every person to give us their ebay name and/or adhere to being on a safe list. EO cant monitor ebay all the time. This safe list is going to have to be a list that people who are willing to be on it, are on it, and people who arent, arent. That means we can bid over them too though since they arent on the list.

My only problem again is if you are on the list, you need to show respect to the others on the list. You had to have added your name to the list or someone asked if you name could be added, so be respectful. On that note, maybe we need to contact all people on our safe list somehow and find out if they are willing to be on the list still and see if everyone can come to an agreement of respect. I know I look to see whos bidding and if they are on the list, I wont bid.

I also email other people on the list to find out why they are bidding and let them know I am bidding. Not always, but if its a HUGE pin sale or something, I want to know who they are, if they are ADPi or a collector.

I do think we should try to get into the Adelphean. I know we cna make everyone be on a list, so if we advertise about the pin rescue Brianne has, she also has a yahoo group for it, we can have them join it and join the safe list if they are interested. Most of us know who people are. We bid reguarly and look out for sisters names and we know whats going on ebay because we are on there so much. I just think respect is the key if you want to be on the safe list.

[adpiucf]

My $.02:

I don't think pin rescue is a high priority to EO. They're a very small staff and focused on operational issues effecting chapters and associations. Grand Council, the strategic arm, is planning programming, etc. So I admire what your group is doing to preserve ADPi history.

One of the international officer teams is the ritual and heritage directors. Why not contact the director of chairs for this group (EO can give you the woman's name) and work with her on an action plan for paraphernalia rescues from online and live auctions?

Another recommendation is writing a letter to the editor of the Adelphean and having them cover a story for you (I'll be happy to write it, if you'd like) about the cause.

Good luck!

[JaimeNicole]

just a little devils advocacy here....

if two sisters can come to an agreement about bidding, thats fabulous. but what happens if they cant? maybe they should just bid, after all, isnt that was ebay is for? not to be a total b****, but ebay wasnt really made for people to just buy things, it was made to be an auction. while its wrong to up bid just to raise a price, the point of an auction is so alot of people can have a chance at getting an item.

while everyone on our end is arguing, there will be a collector that will swoop in, and we arent going to know what hit us because we were bickering.

side note ~ i TOTALLY support all this VV and pin saving stuff, and 1 day i want to help (when im rich and famous and eating caviar and drinking champange) but if 2 sisters REALLY want something, maybe they need to just hash it out on ebay like the site was meant for

1 more note ~ consider this situation......2 sisters, we will call them, i dunno, octavia and eugenia....right now the pin is at, $100. octavia has $200 she can spend and eugenia has $500 maybe eugenia has said "octavia, im not going to bid, i know you really want this pin". with 27 seconds left the auction goes to $250. octavia cant afford to win the pin, but if eugenia was still watching the auction, she could still afford to get it and it wouldnt have gone to a collector.

[honeychile]

Maybe we should think about this:

Eugenia wants a special type of pin, and has $300 to spend on it.
Sophronia wants a different type of pin, but likes ALL pins, and she has $800 to spend on pins.

Eugenia sees "her" pin on ebay, and asks Sophronia to let her win the bid. But! The bid goes over $300, Eugenia can't afford it, Sophronia thinks Eugenia is going to snipe for it, and it ends up in the hands of a collector. But!

If Eugenia would tell Sophronia that she wants the pin, but can only go up to $300. The bid goes over $300, so Sophronia now knows that Eugenia won't be bidding any more, so SHE can now bid on it in good conscience.

The secret is (surprise!) Communication! If there is a special type of pin that you want, you need to let people know WHAT you want, and HOW MUCH you're willing to spend. Maybe we need to develop a wishlist?

Anyhow, that's 1¢ out of my 2¢ - but I plan to add more!!

[FirstAndFinest]

I think the key here is communication .

Personally, I have been in this situation several times, and prior to finding my way to GC!
I've had eBayers (who happened to be sisters, as I would find out) email me as high-bidder to tell me why this item was important to them. Had they simply said, "I want this", I may have been inclined to respectfully tell them that I also want it, let she with the deepest pockets win! (I mean, if we are just talking 'want' there is no gauge for who should win.) I've also contacted a competing bidder, to ask what her interest is in the item, only to receive no response, or worse, a very rude one! ("Yes I am a sister, not that its any of your biz, and I want that item and I'm not letting you win!" - words to that effect. Nice, huh? Yeah, that compells me to back off - NOT!)
However, these eBayers who could express a sentimental reason why the item had meaning to them (an item from their chapter, replacing a similar lost item, etc) which as a Sister, I respectfully let them win (or exchanged for cash if my bid was way high...).

Ebay is a free market, but we should act as Sisters, respecting one another. I don't think we could really create any policy, only the guidlines to Communicate with competing bidders and the Respect your sister!

That's my $0.02, which was really more like $2.00, but keep the change.

[/soapbox]

[honeychile]

I agree completely with FD!! I was one of the sisters who contacted her and told her that the item we were both bidding on was a bracelet I had lost (and here it was a KD bracelet!!). But she was gracious enough to back down, because we communicated!!!

Also, I had an experience when I was bidding on one lot of ADPi items, but only wanted one. I contacted the other sister bidding on it, explained that I only wanted the one item, and would give her the rest if she gave me her address - and got a really rude response (without the address)!! I still feel badly about that one.

Communication & kindness settles quite a bit, IMHO!

[ADPiShannan]

I totally agree. I just feel noone communicates anymore. I know I email people if I want something for some reason. I just feel like we need to find some middle ground cause the COLLECTORS laugh at us and how much we outbid each other. When we communicate things like that dont happen as much.

[emleepc]

You said it Shannan!! While I rarely bid on things on ebay, I still try to see if the bidders are sisters (safe) or not. But really, how hard is it to email the bidders? Maybe we should all make more of a concerted effort, things would start to fall into place, and pins would fall into our laps!!!

[ASUADPi]

cosign with what Honey, FD and Shannan are saying.

Communication is the key!!!!!!!

JaimeNicole, I welcome your opinion whether I agree with it or not and I applaud you for stating your opinion. (If I knew how to do clapping hands I would do it but I don't know how).

No matter what, we are sisters and I say as sisters we owe each other respect. Now this is not to say that all sisters are going to be "nice" when emailed about why they are bidding on an item and your invested interest in the item.

All I know is that I've been the victim of a sister coming in and outbidding me with 23 seconds left in bidding. My ebay name very specifically states that I'm an ADPi, so she knew she was bidding against a sister. Doing something like what she did is not cool in my book and would never be cool in my book. She never once attempted to contact me via email and had she I would have told her that the pin meant a lot to me because it was my birthstone.

We can't control everyone on ebay, that's just a given. But let's RESPECT EACH OTHER, as sisters we SHOULD be doing that anyways.

Just my 2 cents.

Feel free to agree and disagree just respect that it is my opinion.

[texas*princess]

I definitely agree with what everyone has said about communication, and I also agree with JaimeNicole's post. What if there are several sisters who want one item?

I think our original goal was that we wanted our pins to go to sisters, and not collectors. If we are achieving this goal, even if that means we lost an ebay auction, we still achieved the goal, right?

I mean, maybe I'm saying this b/c I'm a poor college kid who can't really afford to spend hundreds of dollars on pins at any given chance, but I feel that if a sister won the pin, we still won. There will be other pins... I can almost guarantee it, so there's no point in fretting about one lost auction.

Of course my above opinion would vary on the circumstance.. like for example if my pin was stolen and I found it on ebay, and I emailed one of the sisters bidding, then yea, I'd be more than upset if they still bid on that knowing it was my pin that was stolen.. but yea, ya'll get my drift!

[JaimeNicole]

Originally posted by ASUADPi


JaimeNicole, I welcome your opinion whether I agree with it or not and I applaud you for stating your opinion. (If I knew how to do clapping hands I would do it but I don't know how).
[/B]

thank you asuadpi :-)

just to clarify for everyone, i didnt intend to say dont respect your sisters, i just could forsee a situation where 2 women think they have an equal right to a pin, and it would be impossible to determine who has more of a right to it. (granted there are exceptions, ie, that bracelet that came up or someone having a stolen item placed up for auction). i guess what im trying to say is that if 2 people really want something, and neither want to back down, and there isnt an extenuating circumstance (like stated before) how is it someone else place to make some kind of rule about who is allowed to bid on what and against who?

this is just my opinion.....im not trying to stir up any trouble. girls scouts honor

[adpiucf]

Is "inkydiva" an ADPi? I have noticed this bidder bidding on other ADPi items.

Has the badge rescue group emailed the bidders?