Would you go out with again if.......

[winneythepooh7]

I am wondering what are some things you have all heard or felt about someone on the first date that gave you mixed feelings or reservations about hanging out with them again.

I'll start with my date last night:

He seems cool, we have a similar career background (he's a health teacher, i'm a social worker) and we like to do a lot of the same things. We both have dogs that we love.

BUT.........

he told me is highly allergic to cats and breaks out around them (I have 2), he told me that he loves to gamble and lost $6,000 just last week and 3)I asked him to tell me some of the wildest and craziest things he has ever done and he did, oh boy boy boy OH BOY he really did tell me some crazy things.

BUT.....the fact that he was honest about these things seems like a *good* quality to me.

OKAY I'll sit back and wait to hear your opinions and all of your own personal stories

[winneythepooh7]

I know I know the loss of $6,000 looks oh so very bad

Honest or not.... it sounds like you could do better! If these are the kinds of things he shares on a first date, he's probably got a lot more dirt that you won't find out about for a while.

I'd say pass.

[AOIIBrandi]

I'll start the replys...

I guess you have to decide if any of the things he talked about are something you can not handle, or have a moral problem with. For me if he was a nice guy I would probably go out with him again.

I have no problem with gamblng (even large sums), but I would hope that he uses the philosphy that he only takes what he can afford to lose. Being a Health Teacher as you previously mentioned $6000 sounds like a lot, but we don't know anything about the rest of his finances...

As far as the wild and crazy things, we've all been there done that. Some of us just more than others I personally am pretty liberal when it comes to things like that - especially if they were in the past, so I would probably have been right there laughing along with the stories

Hope I helped.

Edited to add: that of course if he has a gambling problem (read: beyond his means, can't pay rent, has to borrow to live) then definitely run very far and fast!

[Lady Pi Phi]

My biggest concern (if I was you...which of course I am not) would be his gambling.

You want to know if he's gambling beyond his means (can he afford to blow $6000 dollars or did he just blow all his money and now can afford to pay rent, bills, food, etc?). Does he have a severe addiction? His he going to be hitting you up for money because he's gambled all his away (I'm pretty sure you don't want to be supporting him and his problem...if it is a problem).

reading back at that you can tell I'm an animal lover....

the $6000? Yeah, that's a major red flag.

But the cats? That's a deal breaker, man. You've got to love me AND my cats!

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
I know I know the loss of $6,000 looks oh so very bad

it might not be bad. If the guy is loaded, and goes to casinos with the idea that he's willing to lose X amount of money, and is able to maintain discipline, then its not a problem. If he gets caught up in gambling, however, and wasn't able to control himself, then I have one word of advice for you: RUN!!!

[Dionysus]

Lose him, a relationship w/ him will only bring you trouble. I would keep him as a FRIEND though. He sounds like a fun guy!

[winneythepooh7]

The stories he told me which sounded outrageous (one night stand stuff with married women) he said happened when he was 22 & 23 and I personally have no problems with that kind of stuff because I am sure a lot of us have skeletons like that in our closet. I asked him some questions about the gambling because it is a big concern and he said that it is something he only does every few months or so with the awareness that he probably will lose. I kind of get the impression too that his family has money because he said that his mom and dad support his sister who is 30 with a child and he was kind of a little mad because they gave her money to go on vacation this week in the Turks & Caicos. He said he works hard for what he has on his own and she doesn't work. He is also only 27 too. I think he is a fun guy and I definately would like to hang out with him again, I am not sure where it is going to lead, as none of us know in the beginning where a relationship is going to lead and as we've discussed in the other posts, even some of the most charming guys with seemingly no issues end up being real losers. I am probably not going to hang out with him again until next week anyways as he has a wedding to go to this weekend. I'll keep ya guys posted, hey tell me some stories about "red flags" you guys haven't picked up on in the past (or maybe had) that ended up being bad.

[Kevin]

There is medicine that can help with those allergies. Also, he'd probably develop a resistance to the allergen if he were exposed more often.

[kddani]

if he's a health teacher, unless he has family money, $6K is a LARGE sum to lose in gambling.........

[sageofages]

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
I am wondering what are some things you have all heard or felt about someone on the first date that gave you mixed feelings or reservations about hanging out with them again.

I'll start with my date last night:

He seems cool, we have a similar career background (he's a health teacher, i'm a social worker) and we like to do a lot of the same things. We both have dogs that we love.

BUT.........

he told me is highly allergic to cats and breaks out around them (I have 2), he told me that he loves to gamble and lost $6,000 just last week and 3)I asked him to tell me some of the wildest and craziest things he has ever done and he did, oh boy boy boy OH BOY he really did tell me some crazy things.

BUT.....the fact that he was honest about these things seems like a *good* quality to me.

OKAY I'll sit back and wait to hear your opinions and all of your own personal stories

One thought on the gambling....did he start with the $6000 and lose it all

OR

Did he go in with say $250 win up to $6000 and then blow it all back to the house?

My sister enjoys gambling and she is pretty good at it...(go figure). But I have seen her start with $100. Get up to $2500 or more (one time $4000) and then lose it all back. I would have stopped, but her thinking is "I only really lost my $100". I am thinking "No you lost a whole lot more than that!!!!!!!!"

Guess it is all in the way you look at it.

[AchtungBaby80]

Go out with him again. What have you got to lose? The second date might go better than the first one. Too, there's always the possibility that he wanted to get everything out in the open to make sure you wouldn't have a problem with his "wild" past if it came up down the road...kinda backwards, but I know people who do that.

The gambling thing...well, a lot of people gamble, and usually when you gamble you lose. My aunt ended up broke for years even after her divorce because she had to pay off gambling debts her lovely husband accrued while they were married, but since you only went out once, I don't think you have to worry about that kind of situation right now. As long as he's got enough $$ to take you out every now and then, it's cool.

[winneythepooh7]

hi DZ and Sage, you've both brought up really good points. I didn't ask those ?'s and I also know people who are big gamblers and always lose but not to the point where they are losing their house and can't pay their basic needs. I think it is always good to be aware though and go with your gut instinct. I think too often people don't or are to eager to get into a relationship that they ignore warning signs. Have a good day everyone! Have fun on the "mu sadness" board. I can't believe that thread (I haven't replied at all, kinda think it may be a hoax?! I also noticed there is a new thread today naming a particular GLO~~uh oh's)

[Optimist Prime]

How did reveal these things? Was he cool with it? Embarresed? Repentive?

Also, was he calm about loosing the $6,000? If so, maybe he is rich.