Greek censorship

[fullertongreek]

I don't know if this has been discussed before but I just wanted to see what everyone's thoughts were on this. We have some new members who have gotten a little irritated by the idea of having the older members tell them how to represent us. So what are your thoughts? Should GLOs be allowed to "censor" (for lack of a better word) the behavior of their members?

[CASIGKAP]

When I was a new member, I was extremely irritated by the sisters telling me how to behave at certain events and meetings yet now that I have been initiated, I can completely understand this attitude. As Sigma Kappas, we have an image to uphold and a solid reputation at ours school. The actions of one person can ruin it.
We recently had a new member chastised (for lack of a better word) b/c she went to a Philanthropy event not to participate but to find a frat guy to hook up with. We told her that was not a good reason to want to be a sister, to meet frat guys.
She decided that she wanted to be a sister for the right reasons so we have given her the opportunity to show us what Sigma Kappa means to her.

[Betarulz!]

I think that it's important for the chapter to have recognized standards of conduct. If we are going to be who we say we are, then we have to set guidelines for what that is.

Further, particularly for new members, they have to learn what it means to be a member of the organization.

As groups that are selective in offers of membership, it seems perfectly acceptable that we can choose who is and isn't, what is and isn't, representative of our organization.

If the new members aren't going to improve the organization by their conduct, while the organization improves the new member, than it sounds like a poor relationship and one that would be better off discontinued.

[KSUViolet06]

As a new member, I've been told since day one that we are the future of Tri-Sigma, and we should conduct ourselves accordingly. I know that we're all humans first, but sometimes we also need to view ourselves as representatives of our respective orgs.

It's important to remember that when we're out on campus, the way we behave may influence a PNM to either "seek us out because we're classy" or " run the other way because those girls are out of control and have no sense".

Also, you should behave according to the principles of your org. I can't stand to see XYZ's whose principles might be "sisterly love and friendship" TOTALLY TRASHTALKING her own sister behind her back. That's the type of behavior that turned me off when looking for the right group to COB.

Well, I'm done here.

Blessings,
JocelynC

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by fullertongreek
Should GLOs be allowed to "censor" (for lack of a better word) the behavior of their members?

Absolutely, but the GLO should be open about its standards from day one.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by fullertongreek
Should GLOs be allowed to "censor" (for lack of a better word) the behavior of their members?

You could use the word "moderate"; it doesn't sound quite so draconian

And, yes, I think it is important that any organzation or group have standards of behavior that are enforced. It can sometimes be easy for an individual to get carried away and make his/her group look bad. And if you don't have a system in place to deal with this, you have the potential of individuals running around making horses asses of themselves and no way of telling them that, really, they should stop embarassing themselves. Sometimes people really don't get that until someone points it out to them.

When I was a pledge (because it was the last semester we were allowed to be called "pledges" before the NPC rule took effect ), our Code of Standards was one of the first things we reviewed during our Pledge Meetings. Everything was simply stated in the Code of Standards -- attire, punctuality, and attitude and behavior. Though we weren't yet initiated members, we were still representatives of the sorority.

There was no "ifs, ands, or buts" about the Code of Standards. Each pledge was expected adhere to it whether or not they were in the presence of the Sisters or other Greeks. There was a sense of trust between Pledges and Sisters because we knew how we were supposed to be behave.

But--in the event we failed to represent AGD according to the code, we had "THE SHOULDER TAP", a discreet way of telling a sister "you shouldn't be doing that". You never wanted to receive one of those, and if you did, you probably felt bad about getting one!

GLOs have the right to moderate the way their new members act and represent them and at the same time new members have a choice to either accept this or not. I feel that accepting this tells your chapter "I really want to be a part of XYZ and I respect the ideals XYZ stands for."

[Sahara27]

Originally posted by Betarulz!
As groups that are selective in offers of membership, it seems perfectly acceptable that we can choose who is and isn't, what is and isn't, representative of our organization.

Unfortunately not all of us are given this opportunity! Even though we are not allowed to be selective, our chapter gets along great... though there's always a couple weird ones that slip in! One of our last pledge classes included one girl who obviously had no problem with, um, showing what her mama gave her. Every pledge meeting she came dressed in either short skirts, middrift shirts, vinyl, tall leather boots.... or all at the same time! *sigh* Needless to say we were a little shocked. The breaking point was really when she went to a fraternity's philanthropy project dressed in a bikini (maybe I should mention that this was a 24-hour bonfire event... in February... in Maine.) She wasn't with any of us, but we got to hear from some of the brothers that she was telling everyone she was a sister of ours (this was about 2-3 weeks into their pledge semester). And the word started getting out around our small campus about this little incident... Well. After that, we decided we really needed to have a chat with her. Our Exec board was able to sit her down privately and tell her our concerns, and how we were worried that she was not going to be able to represent us in a desirable manner. She apologized to the sisterhood, and a week later decided to depledge. As sad as it is to lose a potential member, I really think this was for the best! That pledge class ended up becoming a very strong group after all this. And it definitely got us sisters working on a Code of Conduct!

[XOMichelle]

Um, I think moderation is ok, to a point. I'm very wary of authority, and do not take to it well. There is a code of conduct, but I think the better way to "moderate behavior" is for the older members of the chapter and even the alums to be good examples. I have no peoblem telling people they represent your group and need to keep your org, and all greek orgs in a good light. But specific punishments or incentives are tough for me.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Absolutely, and this is coming from someone who didn't always represent the best of Gamma Phi Beta.

Whether in letters or not, you are associated with a group of people and what you do reflects onto them.

Not to mention, that you make yourself look less than optimal.

The rules are spelled out to everyone who joins and (I assume) every org makes their members take an oath that they will follow the rules. You dont like the rules, don't join the group.......

[fullertongreek]

Here's a question for everyone. It is obvioulsy easier to regulate member behavior at the collegiate level with the chapter there and all but what about after college? Like when members still feel very attached to their organization, wear letters often, introduce themselves as members of XYZ but do not act in the manner they should. How do you regulate that? Can you even regulate that?

[_Lisa_]

Originally posted by fullertongreek
Here's a question for everyone. It is obvioulsy easier to regulate member behavior at the collegiate level with the chapter there and all but what about after college? Like when members still feel very attached to their organization, wear letters often, introduce themselves as members of XYZ but do not act in the manner they should. How do you regulate that? Can you even regulate that?

I suppose you can only hope that what they learned while being a collegiate member will carry on after college.

[greencat]

Originally posted by fullertongreek
Here's a question for everyone. It is obvioulsy easier to regulate member behavior at the collegiate level with the chapter there and all but what about after college? Like when members still feel very attached to their organization, wear letters often, introduce themselves as members of XYZ but do not act in the manner they should. How do you regulate that? Can you even regulate that?

Alum and college members should be aware that whenever they are in public, they are representing XYZ. I think new members tend to be coddled too much.

I think this is an interesting discussion because look at the way some of us represent on Greekchat.... where the users have identified clearly what group they belong to, and they're using profanity, or putting someone down, etc., because those are their personal ideas, and they don't seem to regard the affect that their personal actions have back on their fraternity/sorority....

And when you point out that their behavior is not appropriate, they accuse you of not letting them express themselves. Say what?!?!

Some people just shouldn't be given letters in the first place because they're not mature enough to represent a group-- at either age 18 or 38!!!!!

[Rudey]

We guide, we don't censor.

-Rudey
--We're men, not children.

[chideltjen]

Originally posted by fullertongreek
Here's a question for everyone. It is obvioulsy easier to regulate member behavior at the collegiate level with the chapter there and all but what about after college? Like when members still feel very attached to their organization, wear letters often, introduce themselves as members of XYZ but do not act in the manner they should. How do you regulate that? Can you even regulate that?

You would hope that member who has graduated and gone beyond her/his college years will still act appropriately while in letters.

I emphasize the word hope. I have seen some bad behavior from alumnae.