HI Aolani,
I know there are other sisters here who could answer your questions better, but here are my thoughts...
Every chapter has its own standards - for some all socials are optional while others you have to attend a certain number. For instance, in my chapter all recruitment events and philanthropies and formal(regional conference, initiation, founder's day) activites are mandatory whereas all socials are optional. There are some minor fundraisers that are optional, but the big fundraisers are not. Every sister puts into what she can - some do not take on any positions as committee chairmen because they know they can't handle it all...
In general, school and family always comes first, but you should find that there is a variety of opportunities within the sorority that will fit your needs.
Simply put, if you were to join, you would be an active sister. A sister is initiated as an active (and on very rare occasions as Alum). However, if her circumstances change and she cannot participate as much as before, she can ask for chapter status - this is something that is decided at a chapter level and every chapter has their own rules about how and when a sister can recieve chapter status.
I think you should go ahead and COB and see what the sisters say about obligations and how you feel about it - there is a definite time committment but it varies for each sister.
Go ahead and have fun! It'll be worth it to find out!
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