SUpporting Sisters

[MooseGirl]

Hi ladies,

So, it seems that our sisterhood is truly realized when tragedy strikes. This past weekend the father of one of our sisters died in a plane crash in the Detroit River off of Pelee Island.
Most of us found out yesterday after we had already had our chapter meting.
This is the first time someone that close has died and I don't think many of the sisters, nor I, know how to help our sister in her time of grief without stiffling her. Many sisters have lost grandparents over the last couple of years, but never a parent.

any advice would be welcome.

Here's the story for those who are interested Downed Plane

[phisignea]

wow, im soo sorry and am sending tons of my support and also thoughts from my chapter. I am in Michigan and have seen lots of stuff about the crash, that is terrible. Maybe have 1 person take charge and have girls in the chapter make dinner or help out around their house, and then the 1 person bring dinner over. These things help a lot and mean a lot to the person/people who have lost the loved one. Other than that, just being with her....dont even say words, just give her hugs and support her. thats about all i can think about, but give her my support and be strong...

LITP,
Kate

[DeltaBetaBaby]

board crashing, i know, but i lost a (step)parent during finals week junior year, and i needed my sisters in the worst way. be there and support her, and let her grieve any way she wants. remember that she probably feels like she has to support her mother and her family, so she needs her sisters to support her.

[SapphireSphinx9]

Oh wow, that's horrible! I'll keep her and her family in my thoughts and prayers.

I think the best thing that your chapter sisters can do, is ask if the family needs any help. Of course they're going to say no... But people always need help with making arrangements, contacting other family and friends, and stuff like that... Plus, what about the chapter coming up with a sign up list for sisters willing to take dinner over for the family every night for two weeks and for sisters willing to help around the house on the weekends or something like that.

Just having my grandma pass away this December, and while she was not my "parent" it was still hard... And so I know that help from friends and family were the best thing for me to get through it.

Tell her that we love her and that we're here for her.

~Beth

[MooseGirl]

Thanks for the advice.
I know at the least we're going to the visitation, whenever that is. but I think many women want to do more than that.

I passed the diner suggestion on to the chapter, I think it's nice, so we'll see how things play out.

[pirepresent]

The only other thing I would add is that, as her sisters, you guys should be in it for the long haul. In the beginning, right after someone passes away, sometimes people get so overwhelmed with the arrangements and seeing all the people who they haven't seen in years, etc etc., that the real hard grieving doesn't come until weeks, sometimes months, later. And those are the really hard times, when the person is really coming to terms with the loss of their loved one, and learning to live without them.

So it's great that you guys are rallying around her and her family now, and definetly keep that up - but bear in mind that the most difficult and trying times are probably a bit down the road, and be ready to support her then as well.

I'll be keeping her in my thoughts and prayers....

[MooseGirl]

They still haven't recovered the plane or bodies - and with this weather it may be even longer.

So, they still aren't able to make funeral arrangements.
We didn't do the dinner thing because they recieved so much food already - they had to start putting it outside in the snow!!

The archon is in contact with our sister - and she knows we'll do anything for her, so we can only wait and continue giving her our support.