Extended family terminology?

[USFSDTAlum]

My dad was married before he married my mom and they had kids(me and my brother). His first wife...is she my step-mom? my ex step-mom? Simply "My dad's first wife?" I know that my sister from that marriage is my half-sister, but are there any terms excompassing her(my dad's first wife) children that came later, now that the marriage is over.

I feel like when I talk about these people I confuse the living daylights out of people, 'My half-sisters, half-brother, who I am not related to, is getting married. Blah blah blah. There's got to be a quicker way to refer to these people, not by name.

[Munchkin03]

I always referred to my father's first wife by her first name, as I do with my half-sister's half-brothers. We really don't interact that much to require any more explanation.

My family is the same way.... I don't really know of any term for it either. It's usually "My dad's ex-wife" or "Sandy" or "Darryl and Dennis's mom"

[Hootie]

If she's not very nice you could just call her your father's pain in the arse

Just kidding! Actually I'd just refer to her as your father's ex, or just by her name.

[AXJules]

Originally posted by Hootie
If she's not very nice you could just call her your father's pain in the arse

Just kidding! Actually I'd just refer to her as your father's ex, or just by her name.

We've always called my dad's ex The Dragon Lady.
I'm not even kidding, I don't know her first name.

[rho4life]

My step-mom was married b4, and has a step-son from that marriage.

I call him my step-step brother. I haven't come up w/ a word for his wife or his kid yet.

[ThetaGrrl]

Oh, I have this problem too. You just have to use first names, until someone actually needs more info. Then, I don't think you can get around it without some explaining.

When my fiance and I first started dating, he mentioned that his father had died. Two weeks later, he invited me to his dad's wedding. Needless to say, I was totally confused. I ended up asking him what the deal was (well, in a polite way) and found out that he calls his ex-step father "dad" and that's who was getting married. I think in situations like that, explanations are needed!

[Tom Earp]

Why is there an explanation needed?

One of My Best Friends who is like a Brother introduces his Mothers Second Husband as His Step Dad! He was never adopted by Him!

I am an adopted part of the Family so to speak! I was at The Clan Gathering for Christmas!

If Your BF feels comfortable with the situation, why should you not feel the same way!???

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by USFstudent
Simply "My dad's first wife?"

In the interests of keeping it simple, I would probably refer to the woman in question as "my dad's first wife".

I am the offspring of a third marriage.

I've always referred to my dad's first and second wives as "Mary the first wife" and "Eleanor the second wife". The first marriage produced my half sisters and half brother, so they're my half sisters and half brother. The second marriage didn't produce any children but Eleanor did have sons from her first marriage. When one of her sons ran successfully for the Governor of Hawaii, I told everyone that he was my "dad's 2nd wife's son" because there was no other way to put it. He wasn't my step-brother, but though he wasn't related to me by blood, he had a deep admiration for my dad and simply referred to me as his "sister". The media couldn't understand how a 50-ish year old man could have a "sister" who was still in HS (as I was at that time).

You can be technical about it, but I suppose deep down it depends on how close you are to them. When in doubt, first names are easiest.

[MareImbrium]

The American culture has it easy when it comes to extended family terminology. In my culture we have terms for everyone and of course it matters whether or not it's masculine or feminine and on which side of the family the member is on, along with if they are married or not. For example my dad has three brothers and only one of them is not married. Literaly translated, the married brothers are called Little Father (since they are younger than my dad) and the unmarried one is just uncle.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by MareImbrium
The American culture has it easy when it comes to extended family terminology. In my culture we have terms for everyone and of course it matters whether or not it's masculine or feminine and on which side of the family the member is on, along with if they are married or not. For example my dad has three brothers and only one of them is not married. Literaly translated, the married brothers are called Little Father (since they are younger than my dad) and the unmarried one is just uncle.

In my culture, we have different names for different relatives, depending on whether they are older than your parents or younger, and how they are related. Even grandparents have different names.

[PM_Mama00]

I wondered that too. My uncle is divorced, so is she my ex-aunt?

I pretty much can figure out my uncle's new fiance as my step-aunt, and her daughter as my step-cousin.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
My uncle is divorced, so is she my ex-aunt?

For me, it depends on how long they were married before they were divorced. The aunts who I was born calling Aunt X, I continue to call them as such. The ones who are relatively new, not so much.

[AchtungBaby80]

I have two half-sisters, one step-sister, and one step-half-sister whose dad is my stepdad's ex-husband-in-law (they were both married to and divorced the same lady).