Greeks, What Do You Do?

[AKA2D '91]

I haven't had one of these types of posts in some time.

What do you do when someone you are close to hints that they are interested in 'your' organization? However, it is CLEAR to you that this person does not display what it is the organization is "looking for". For whatever external factors there are surrounding this person, he or she just should not attempt to seek membership on the UG or the Grad level for the organization you are a member of.

1. Do you suggest anything to this person?
2. Do you suggest that he or she seek membership with another organization?
3. What?

[Professor]

Sometimes I just tell folk that they are not Alpha material. Other times I suggest they become involved with organizations that may make him a good candidate.

The one thing that always is a no for me is a man with a low GPA with an average course load and course of study.

[nikki1920]

Right..if they are showing "tendencies" toward _____-dom (fill in org), then cool. If they are not, explain to them why you feel they aren't _____ material.

Don't be pushin them into other orgs.. lol...

[Prissfit1908]

It's quite a predicament, and I've been there before.

X was a friend of mine and we had been cool for years. However, X began to turn her azz wrongside out after she hit 20! She became a real trip, and she did quite a bit of damage to her reputation. I mean, she was a Jerry Springer, Ricki-Lake-doorbell-ringing, "Oh no she didn't sleep with THEM", you-wouldn't-feel-right-leaving-her-alone-in-the-house-with-your-man kind of a trip. Now, I am not going to sit here and say that every member of a sorority (even, ahem, mine) is pure as the driven snow. A good number of folks are hardly as pure as some driven OVER or driven THROUGH snow... However, many at least have the dignity and good sense to keep it on the d.l., you know?

But, I can't see letting a known, shall we say, "lady of the night" up in my organization. It ain't hapnin'... At least not through any chapters within earshot.

I didn't come right out and tell her, "You don't have a snowball's chance in h*ll of being an AKA cuz you're a big ole' stank-a-dank." But, I would never discuss it with her. When she brought it up, I would listen, and then eventually change the subject. She got the hint and stopped asking.

And although I know our sorority is the only way, Soror AKA2D, I wouldn't wish an underqualified interest on another organization. That ain't right! lol

[Steeltrap]

I haven't yet come across any "big ol' stank-a-danks" (LMBO, Soror Prissfit) who have expressed any interest in AKA. I probably, although this is out of character, would be direct and say that you are not AKA or NPHC sorority material. No, I wouldn't steer them to another org.

[TonyB06]

Originally posted by Prissfit1908
It's quite a predicament, and I've been there before.

X was a friend of mine and we had been cool for years. However, X began to turn her azz wrongside out after she hit 20! She became a real trip, and she did quite a bit of damage to her reputation. I mean, she was a Jerry Springer, Ricki-Lake-doorbell-ringing, "Oh no she didn't sleep with THEM", you-wouldn't-feel-right-leaving-her-alone-in-the-house-with-your-man kind of a trip. Now, I am not going to sit here and say that every member of a sorority (even, ahem, mine) is pure as the driven snow. A good number of folks are hardly as pure as some driven OVER or driven THROUGH snow... However, many at least have the dignity and good sense to keep it on the d.l., you know?

But, I can't see letting a known, shall we say, "lady of the night" up in my organization. It ain't hapnin'... At least not through any chapters within earshot.

I didn't come right out and tell her, "You don't have a snowball's chance in h*ll of being an AKA cuz you're a big ole' stank-a-dank." But, I would never discuss it with her. When she brought it up, I would listen, and then eventually change the subject. She got the hint and stopped asking.

And although I know our sorority is the only way, Soror AKA2D, I wouldn't wish an underqualified interest on another organization. That ain't right! lol

*hijack*

I don't mean to interrupt the thread but this post right here gets my vote for funniest post of the year!

I'm still thinking on the seriousness of the question, but Prissfit08, you a trip.

*endofhijack--back to the seriousness*

[rho4life]

This is dicey!

Well, if there was some rationale, ie no grades, no community service, etc., I would point to that and say you don't meet our criteria.

If the young "lady" manages to meet the formal criteria, but we still don't want her, but she wants us........... at some point, she needs to be told. This is why is always helps to have one "tell it like it 'tis" soror in each chapter.

[abaici]

Originally posted by rho4life
This is why is always helps to have one "tell it like it 'tis" soror in each chapter.

That is so true!!!

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by rho4life
This is why is always helps to have one "tell it like it 'tis" soror in each chapter.

But don't you sometimes hate to be that soror? I had to tell a girl that I went to undergrad with that maybe the sorority just wasn't for her. When I was in Columbus, my chapter and the Alphas had a party. I invited her to the party. She didn't show up. She called me the next day to tell me that she didn't feel comfortable coming because she didn't have positive relationships with other females and all this other jazz. I told her that if that was true, sorority life wasn't for her, period point blank. Funny thing is, I haven't heard from her since. Fair weather friend? I guess she wanted AKA for what it could do for HER. She came to the wrong person, and she should've known that.

[ladygreek]

I have been in a similar situation. But it worked itself out without me having to say anything to her. The weaknesses I saw in her but tolerated because she was a friend, others also saw in her so she didn't get the vote. I didn't say anything negative about her--I just didn't say anything at all. Since people knew she and I were friends the fact that I said nothing in and of itself spoke volumes.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by rho4life
This is why is always helps to have one "tell it like it 'tis" soror in each chapter.

LMAO! Yes Indeed! hmmmmmmmmmmm.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by Ideal08
But don't you sometimes hate to be that soror? I had to tell a girl that I went to undergrad with that maybe the sorority just wasn't for her. When I was in Columbus, my chapter and the Alphas had a party. I invited her to the party. She didn't show up. She called me the next day to tell me that she didn't feel comfortable coming because she didn't have positive relationships with other females and all this other jazz. I told her that if that was true, sorority life wasn't for her, period point blank. Funny thing is, I haven't heard from her since. Fair weather friend? I guess she wanted AKA for what it could do for HER. She came to the wrong person, and she should've known that.

Who?!?!?! You can PM me with that info.

[Dedicated2Delta]

What if that person was a relative?? Would you be able to tell your sister/niece/cousin/even daughter that your organization probably wouldn't pick her up. I wonder about that sometimes.

I think if it were my sisters, I wouldn't say anything. I would just let that chapter decide.

[abaici]

Originally posted by Dedicated2Delta
What if that person was a relative?? Would you be able to tell your sister/niece/cousin/even daughter that your organization probably wouldn't pick her up.

In a heartbeat. I don't know...but it's easier for me to talk straight with my relatives. I always want other people to think I'm nice. My family already knows I'm mean. They would expect nothing less from me. lol.

[Kodaka]

Originally posted by abaici
In a heartbeat. I don't know...but it's easier for me to talk straight with my relatives. I always want other people to think I'm nice.

Me too...my family thinks I'm nice too, but they would listen to me and value my opinion I think.

I don't know what I would do for a friend...