Was I Wrong For This?

Sistermadly · #1 11-26-2003, 02:56 PM

A good friend of mine told me about a graduate assistantship that opened up in one of the departments on campus. She was applying for it too. I currently have a grad assistantship, but it runs out at the end of this week, and I needed another one to keep money coming in until I graduate, so I applied for the position.

Before I applied, I asked my friend if she would mind if I applied. She assured me she wouldn't, so I did.

I was hired. My friend wasn't.

She says she's not mad at me, but I feel terrible. Was I wrong for applying for the same job as a friend? Should I do something to try to make it up to her?

PhiPsiRuss · #2 11-26-2003, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sistermadly
A good friend of mine told me about a graduate assistantship that opened up in one of the departments on campus. She was applying for it too. I currently have a grad assistantship, but it runs out at the end of this week, and I needed another one to keep money coming in until I graduate, so I applied for the position.

Before I applied, I asked my friend if she would mind if I applied. She assured me she wouldn't, so I did.

I was hired. My friend wasn't.

She says she's not mad at me, but I feel terrible. Was I wrong for applying for the same job as a friend? Should I do something to try to make it up to her?

I think that you were considerate when you asked her. You both knew that the potential for the actual result was possible. You acted in an open and honorable way from trhe beginning, you have done nothing that merits an appology. Just be happy that you have a great friend.

Sistermadly · #3 11-26-2003, 03:27 PM

Thanks for the feedback, Russell.

adpialumcsuc · #4 11-26-2003, 05:01 PM

I don't think you were on the wrong either. You asked her and that is what counts. If you hadn't asked that would be different. Good Luck and Congrats

KillarneyRose · #5 11-26-2003, 05:10 PM

I think you handled the whole situation very well! Maybe you could take your friend out for lunch or something?

Congratulations on the job!

IheartMATT806 · #6 11-26-2003, 05:34 PM

If i were "that freind" i would be a little bitter. Not every day does a job like that come up nor is it everyday that you have to worry about a freind taking it. Im sure she is hurt and a little bitter.

Just my two cents.

AchtungBaby80 · #7 11-26-2003, 09:19 PM

I know your friend might be bitter, but if she didn't want you to apply for it she should have said so when you asked her. She had her opportunity to say what she really thought, and if she didn't (i.e. lied and said it was OK with her when it really wasn't) it's her loss.

James · #8 11-26-2003, 11:18 PM

Well you won in the end lol so why care?

Ofcourse she is upset. Bitter and confused because she knows she should be happy for you!

LOL Ahh the twisted pain of the knife sliding in your back . . .

You didn't just compete for the same job, she told you the job existed. Thats some bitter irony for her.

Honestly though you didn't really do anything "wrong". Its just that personal relationships are more complex that simple matters of right and wrong. Something you obviously know or you wouldn't have posted

The upshot is that you get to continue eating and going to school because of this job. So I would sleep well

DeltAlum · #9 11-26-2003, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
So I would sleep well

And that's that. Good night.

Jill1228 · #10 11-26-2003, 11:48 PM

Congrats on getting the position!
And no you were not wrong!

You were courteous to ask her if she minded...that is a lot more considerate than most people. Some woulda said, "hey it's me or her and may the best woman win"

Hope she is cool with it

Sistermadly · #11 11-27-2003, 01:10 AM

Thanks, everyone. I'll take these suggestions to heart.