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| Welcome to our newest member, sophiaptt543 |
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10-13-2003, 06:20 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
Posts: 13,569
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Modern math
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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10-13-2003, 06:33 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: chicago, il
Posts: 5,112
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oh so true
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10-13-2003, 06:38 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Kansas City, Kansas USA
Posts: 23,584
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Thought this was about real Math! Da Me. Upon reading it, it is the True Math! 
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10-13-2003, 08:31 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 9,324
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good thread.
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Garth J. Lampkin, Diversity and Inclusion Chair, Region 4
Sigma Tau Gamma Fraternity
LetEmKnow!!RollTau!!
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10-13-2003, 11:19 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lexington, KY, USA
Posts: 3,185
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Re: Modern math
Quote:
Originally posted by NinjaPoodle
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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That's awesome. Now that I've pretty much reached spinster age (around here, at least), I might need to use that.
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10-14-2003, 12:14 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: $outh Beach
Posts: 4,231
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Re: Modern math
Quote:
Originally posted by NinjaPoodle
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Where'd you find this at?
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10-14-2003, 12:29 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: WWJMD?
Posts: 7,560
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Re: Modern math
Quote:
Originally posted by NinjaPoodle
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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That's awesome!! 
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10-14-2003, 12:46 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,114
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SOOOOOOOOOOOO true 
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10-14-2003, 01:18 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: somewhere in richmond
Posts: 6,906
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10-14-2003, 09:34 AM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Crescent City
Posts: 10,050
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Re: Modern math
Quote:
Originally posted by NinjaPoodle
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Hahaha... I'll have to try that next time older relatives pester me about having a baby. 
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10-14-2003, 05:54 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
Posts: 13,569
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Re: Re: Modern math
Quote:
Originally posted by cashmoney
Where'd you find this at?
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A friend sent it to me via e-mail
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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