wedding costs? :(

KappaTarzan · #1 09-27-2003, 01:00 AM

well, i am formally announcing it, I suppose...

I'm engaged!!!!!

starting to plan the wedding, i have created this intricate budget for all of our expenses (according to estimates at www.weddingplanner.com). I have included EVERY possible detail, and i'm trying to make sure everything is going to go perfectly as planned..

**for all you married folk, how much did your wedding actualyl cost?? was it a big or small wedding (how many guests)? traditional/modern/your own style? DJ or Band? dinner served??****

overall, i am just so lost in this whole wedding cost thing... help!! !

squirrely girl · #2 09-27-2003, 01:23 AM

i just got married this summer and everything included we (well my dad!) spent about $4500.

I had a fairly traditional, medium sized wedding (about 100 guests). We had a DJ and a buffett style dinner. I really went to town with flowers though.

Advice - plan as much as possible now - save yourself the headache later!

Marissa

KillarneyRose · #3 09-27-2003, 01:51 AM

Congratulations, KappaTarzan!!!

I could tell you what my wedding cost, but it was so long ago that the prices would have to be adjusted for inflation!

My piece of advice to you is to decide as soon as possible what one element of the wedding is most important to you (i.e. open bar, flowers, band, etc) and plan to spend the most money on that. Then work the other things into your budget.

I LOVE flowers and, like squirrely girl, I really went to town with them and it still makes me happy every time I look at the wedding pictures and see them

juniorgrrl · #4 09-27-2003, 04:04 AM

Congratulations!

Okay, I'm in the thick of wedding planning right now, so here goes:

Church: $1350 (1K for the church, 150 for the organist, 200 for the coordinator - my church is very expensive because I'm not a parishoner and its in the most exclusive neighborhood in New Orleans. But, it was worth it to me)

http://www.hnjchurch.org

Reception site rental: $1200

http://www.neworleansopera.org/guild.html

Caterer: $5000

We're doing a buffet-style dinner, because that's the norm down here. There's also going to be an open bar, because in new orleans, you just don't have a wedding without an open bar. The reception is going to be for about 150-200 people.

Dress: $1100 (It retails for much more, yay for internet dress shops!)

Band: $700 for 4-piece jazz band

This is what I've got so far. And I've done a lot of shopping to find the best quality at the best price. I'm not going to need a ton of flowers because both the church and reception site are very decorated in their own right.

I've got 5 bridesmaids and they'll be buying their own dresses/shoes etc. Keep in mind those "wedding budget calculators" include things like that which you might not be paying for.

Our wedding is going to be very traditional, very formal, and I'm a big pain in the ass. I could do this wedding in my parish church and the local country club for much much less than the ordeal I'm putting myself through, but hey, you only get married once!

sigmagrrl · #5 09-27-2003, 08:37 AM

OK, I've officially reached the "I guess it's just me" stage of life...I've seen dresses I want for my future, not-even-on-the-horizon wedding, and the MOST expensive one was $400! *oof* $1100???

Well, that pales in comparison to my cousin who spent $6000...on a dress you wear once...That's a downpayment on a car!

Wow....I hope you really LOVE your dress!!

Jill1228 · #6 09-27-2003, 09:02 AM

Congrats hon!
Rule #1: Never assume. Unless your family "Shows you da money", plan on paying for it yourself.

One of the best books I highly recommend is "Bridal Bargains"

It helped me out SO much!

Eclipse · #7 09-27-2003, 09:27 AM

SO much of wedding costs depend on where you are getting married (a wedding is say Boston --since I see you are in Mass, will be much more $$ than a wedding in say, Dothan Alabama), what kind of reception you want to to have, and how many people you are inviting to the wedding/reception.

Rule of thumb that I heard from someone that was pretty accurate when I got married 7 years ago: When you make the guest list and the list from his parents and your parents, assign percentages to each person based on their likelihood of coming. For instance, you KNOW your grandmother will be there. She would be 1. Great Aunt Maybelle, however, is bedridden and across the country so you know she is not coming; the invitation is more of a courtesy. Assign her 0. If there is some one you are reasonable sure of (but not 100%) assign them .75. Others would be .50 and .25 based on their changes of coming. THis is just to give you an early count (before the RSVPs come in) of what kinda numbers you are working with.

Think about your personality (and the personality of your groom to be!) and what you are looking for. Night time party with the booze flowing? Afternoon garden wedding with tea sandwiches? Tons of flowers?

Good luck with your planning!!

PM_Mama00 · #8 09-27-2003, 10:22 AM

What kind of dinner are you having? About how many guests? It's all in the numbers and way you're doing it. Buffett is cheaper, but I've never ever been to a buffett wedding here. It's not very common.

Anyways, good luck with your wedding!

MereMere21 · #9 09-27-2003, 10:29 AM

I spent $2000 and planned it in 2 weeks - still came off beautifully!

I spent most of my money on flowers - had to have red and buff roses

I saved $ by having it in a friend's backyard, I wore my Initiation gown that was fixed up a little by a friend, had BBQ (its Texas ok!), and only had my Sis Mom as a Maid of Honor

Congrats BTW!

sigmagrrl · #10 09-27-2003, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MereMere21
I spent $2000 and planned it in 2 weeks - still came off beautifully!

I spent most of my money on flowers - had to have red and buff roses

I saved $ by having it in a friend's backyard, I wore my Initiation gown that was fixed up a little by a friend, had BBQ (its Texas ok!), and only had my Sis Mom as a Maid of Honor

Congrats BTW!

THAT kicks a$$!! LOL

Great planning!

USFSDTAlum · #11 09-27-2003, 12:01 PM

Wow! That is all I have to stay for people who had a medium to large sized wedding for only a couple thousand dollars. I have had several friends get married recently. The cheapest wedding (in terms of cost) was $20,000+. I guess thats the downside of dealing with DC weddings. I'd probably say the average cost among people I know was around $25,000. And keep in mind these aren't necessarily huge elaborate affairs. The first one I mentioned was beautiful, by NO means showy, and for about 75-100 people.

KappaTarzan · #12 09-27-2003, 12:20 PM

by estimate, ours will cost between $14,000- $18,0000.

DAMN IT. weddings are expensive.

any ideas on things that could help keep the cost relatively reasonable? certain dates that would be less, or flowers that are in season? we're just spring chickens, we'll be just shy of 22 at our wedding!

damasa · #13 09-27-2003, 12:27 PM

Weddings are far too commercialized so you shouldn't do it!

Just fly down to Vegas and get hitched!

sigmagrrl · #14 09-27-2003, 12:48 PM

Some of the my tips, based on both personal and professional experience:

*Buy a wedding dress from Ebay/consignment shop

* Make your own bouquets from flowers you buy at the grocery store

*If you choose to hold the reception at a commercial site (anywhere other than a private home), DO NOT tell the event planner that it's a wedding. Wedding costs are jacked up to gouge couples...You get the same food for a lower cost if you just call it a "party"

* You could hold the reception in someone's private home and have relatives cook the food. I know my relatives kick a$$ in the kitchen, so I want them cooking!

* Save your bridesmaids $$$ by not forcing to buy the SAME dress, the SAME shoes, etc. Ask them to dress nicely (well, according to the level of formality) and thank them for coming! Oh, and you don't need 50 witnesses...just those closest to you...2 or 3 at the most....

* Print the invitations from your PC. There are some great programs out there that can be installed in a snap. You can buy the stock, nice paper in bulk at a local Kinko's, etc

* Party favors can be the centerpieces...Think creatively. Maybe not everyone will get one to take home, but be honest, do you treasure the favors for life? I know I still have no idea what happened to the one I got from my cousin, but she gave us all the centerpieces, beautiful peace lilies and Birds of Paradise flowers. I still have those tied with a ribbon, hanging on my wall...

* DO NOT SKIMP ON THE PHOTOGRAPHER! This cannot be stressed enough. Don't hire cousin Skippy to take the photos because he's looking for his "big break" or cuz he wants to start his portfolio! If he wants to do it that bad, let him be the "backup" photographer (candids, etc)

* Do you REALLY need a videographer? First off, I hate when the cameraman shoves that muthafriggin' microphone in your face and says "Say something to the couple!"...Um, first, I have salad in my mouth, second, I want another roll, third, I would have written something down, fourth, some people freeze on camera while others will try to audition for "American Idol"...Skip this please. Besides, you will lose more friends by trying to invite them over to "see the wedding video" (that, c'mon let's be honest, no one besides the couple cares about) than you would if you talked about them behind their backs!

* Don't hire a makeup artist. You want to look like your natural, beautiful self on your wedding day, not like a drag queen! But, spend the money on your hair if you want a complicated do. But, the best advice I've ever heard and witnessed is to do your hair in a similar fashion to something you've done before so that you don't look unnatural or feel uncomfortable and fidgety.

* Spend money on pre-marital counseling!!! You'll be glad you did!!

* Breakfasts and weeknight weddings are usually less expensive

* You don't need 500 limos! One or two is fine...Here's where having the 2-3 bridesmaids and groomsmen comes in handy!

* Spend the money on the honeymoon!!

PM_Mama00 · #15 09-27-2003, 01:03 PM

Woooooow..... we come from 2 totally different cultures.

I think alot of stuff that people are suggesting are really good and creative, but it might be easier to ask someone who lives in the same region. What someone, in say California, and someone in Michigan does/costs/whatever, it's prolly gona be really different.