I hate boys

TexasTechBabe · #1 09-23-2003, 03:27 PM

Ok I need some advice. There's this guy I've been admiring from afar since school started and yesterday we finally talked. (and by talked he got my screen name from a mutual friend and we chatted for 2 hours) Well it turns out that hes a very sweet guy BUT we have completely different social lives. I go out almost every weeked and yes i do drink and i do occasionally have a fowl mouth, but I consider myself to be a good girl over all. Him on the other hand, he plays sports here at school and he never goes out, never has had a drink in his life and isnt the type to use profanity. He's also the type to go to church every weekend (which I have nothing against, I just can't find a Catholic church in Lubbock that I like, everyone is Baptist here). After we finished talking he told our mutual friend that I was really cool and and he thought I was very pretty but to much of a party girl for him!!! I really want to see if there is a chance for us to get to know eachother better, and prove to him that I'm not Miss Bacardi Queen of America. I'm just not sure how I should apprach the situation. I dont want to be like hey so I'm too wild for ya huh? But at the same time I dont want him to think of me like that because Im really not. I wont be able to see him this weekend because he'll be at Ole Miss this and I'll be back at home. I don't want to have to change for him because I think that people should like you the way you are. What should I do???

KSig RC · #2 09-23-2003, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TexasTechBabe
Ok I need some advice. There's this guy I've been admiring from afar since school started and yesterday we finally talked. (and by talked he got my screen name from a mutual friend and we chatted for 2 hours) Well it turns out that hes a very sweet guy BUT we have completely different social lives. I go out almost every weeked and yes i do drink and i do occasionally have a fowl mouth, but I consider myself to be a good girl over all. Him on the other hand, he plays sports here at school and he never goes out, never has had a drink in his life and isnt the type to use profanity. He's also the type to go to church every weekend (which I have nothing against, I just can't find a Catholic church in Lubbock that I like, everyone is Baptist here). After we finished talking he told our mutual friend that I was really cool and and he thought I was very pretty but to much of a party girl for him!!! I really want to see if there is a chance for us to get to know eachother better, and prove to him that I'm not Miss Bacardi Queen of America. I'm just not sure how I should apprach the situation. I dont want to be like hey so I'm too wild for ya huh? But at the same time I dont want him to think of me like that because Im really not. I wont be able to see him this weekend because he'll be at Ole Miss this and I'll be back at home. I don't want to have to change for him because I think that people should like you the way you are. What should I do???

uh . . . dude, did it occur to you that possibly you ARE too much of a 'party girl' for him?

-or-

Conversely, he's too much of a 'homebody' for you? Just because he's attractive and sweet doesn't guarantee any sort of ability to connect in a relationship sense.

It sounds like the two of you have different priorities - and if you don't want to change for him, well, then don't; just realize that it doesn't have to work just because you're both somewhat interested.

ilovemyglo · #3 09-23-2003, 04:18 PM

From experience here:
When someone has the attitude that you are "too much of a party girl for them" then maybe it isn't that you are a huge party girl, but there are some people that ANY drinking and partying or swearing is TOO much. That doesn't mean it is, but they feel like morally these things are wrong and they can't be associated with them.
I had a good friend like that. She has never had a drink of alcohol, believes gambling is a sin and I don't think she has ever said a cuss word and she has never see a real live penis (except for possibly on tv but I doubt even that!).
There is nothing wrong with that, it is a personal choice. However she began to criticize my choices and our other friends choices. When I went to Vegas with my parents she was appalled because my parents condoned it!! (They go to Caesars in Indiana more than I even could!) and she about had a fit whenever some of us went to a bar for the sake of, dare I say it, getting trashed !!!
Eventually we quit talking to her. She wasn't a bad person, she just couldn't handle the things we felt were acceptable. Different people have different views on acceptable and unacceptable behavior. But if someone feels they are morally "above" what you do, then you cannot communicate or find a level ground... because there isn't any.
And besides there are plenty of guys out there that probably like you just the way you are. This guy doesn't sound like one of em.

DZHBrown · #4 09-23-2003, 04:25 PM

Well, when I saw the title, I was ready to jump in and say "Yeah! Boys suck!!" However, once I read the thread, I have to say that your priorities and social lives differ so much that it probably wouldn't be the greatest of relationships. I know I wouldn't want to date a guy that partied all the time and a guy that partied all the time wouldn't want to date me. We would be at different points in our lives and that's fine. Just chalk it up to differences and move on to a guy who wants to lead that type of social life.

Optimist Prime · #5 09-23-2003, 04:27 PM

Maybe he's not the right guy for you. There are other fish in the sea.

madmax · #6 09-23-2003, 04:45 PM

ask him out.

damasa · #7 09-23-2003, 04:49 PM

I'll echo KSig RC here: "cute and sweet" shouldn't be the only factor in any situation like this.

You are a party girl he isn't a partyboy. It doesn't sound like "ya'll" will have all that much in common.

I don't think there is any woo woo there.

LSUquadkid · #8 09-23-2003, 05:08 PM

I would go out with for a bit and see if it could work.. If you think that there are too many differences, then you will feel that it's not working out. Maybe you guys might click in other ways and accept each others different lives and adapt to each other. I would totally try it out though--don't give up!

cash78mere · #9 09-23-2003, 05:21 PM

what would you do on the weekends? he wouldn't go out with you to parties and you won't want to stay home every weekend. i say become good friends but leave the romance out