getting a legacy (that's related to you!)

ATOtnBetaTau · #1 08-20-2003, 11:00 AM

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on getting my younger brother to pledge my Fraternity. Here are the details:

I'm a senior (graduating May 22nd

); he'll be a freshmen moving in in 2 days. We are at a small private university where most of our family has attended and been involved in Greek life. Our dad, uncle, and I are all ATOs. While my brother and I get along great, we really haven't been able to spend large amounts of time together since high school. Our interests are not that similar anymore, except that we both love to laugh. He is also the type of guy who will go the opposite direction if he feels pushed into anything.

My plan so far is to simply let him know that I would love for him to pledge and invite him to all the recruitment events. He has already met most of the brothers over the past year, and a couple are going to take him golfing (a sport he loves, and I nearly hate) a few days after upperclassmen move in.

Does anyone else have any other ideas that could persuade him without making him feel forced?

I'm young to this community, but everyone seems so helpful so I thought I should ask. Thank you for your help.

Jason

DZHBrown · #2 08-20-2003, 11:03 AM

Hi to a fellow Tennessean

What are his thoughts on fraternity life so far? His thoughts on ATO?

ATOtnBetaTau · #3 08-20-2003, 11:35 AM

Don't you love Tennesseans coming to help each other?

So far, I think he views Greek life as an option he may do, but it will cost him money. He hates spending money. I know he has a positive look of ATO from our family, and he has liked the guys he has met so far. These are just my judgements, though. To be honest, I haven't really asked him these questions in fear of being too pushy. Believe me, I can be the bossy older brother if I don't watch myself. I guess I'm only sure he would not join one of the other two fraternities.

Jason

aopirose · #4 08-20-2003, 12:21 PM

I'd say feel him out about Greek Life to see if it is something that he wants to do. If he can see the benefits of being in a GLO, he will spend the money for it. All the pennypinchers that I have known were the first to pay their dues in full. I guess it's because they didn't spend their money on junk like I did.

He may also want to wait to see what college is all about first. Continue to invite him to things and introduce him to people. Get your fraternity little brother involved and other underclassmen. After all, your brother only has one year in the chapter with you and the rest of his college career with the other guys. OK, I am rambling now. Good Luck!

SmartBlondeGPhB · #5 08-20-2003, 02:08 PM

I agree with what has already been said and I also agree with the way you plan on handling it. Tell him how you feel, tell him you won't pressure him and let your brothers show him what he'll get out of it. If you haven't said much, he might think you don't want him to join........

What about your dad and uncle, do they have any idea about how he feels? Are they trying to push him to join? In the scenario you have set out, I would think he'd be feeling a lot of pressure to be like the rest of the family (and not just from the family).

ATOtnBetaTau · #6 08-21-2003, 12:02 AM

My dad and uncle did a really great job of never putting any pressure to join ATO on me while I was growing up. They've done pretty much the same for my brother, except that he has heard more about the Fraternity than I heard my last few years of high school because of my talks with my dad and uncle.

I'll talk to my mom and dad and see if they have any insights about how he has been leaning the past few weeks. After all, they have lived with him lately, and I haven't.

Jason

adpiucf · #7 08-21-2003, 08:18 PM

I think it's great to tell him you would be honored if he were a brother or something to that effect. I only say this b/c one of my little sisters (not real life, sorority lil) wasn't sure I wanted her to be an ADPi. We were friends before she rushed and I was a PX, and I didn't want to influence her. Bridget thought I didn't want her to be an ADPi! If only she knew how much my sisters and I were arguing all summer long over who would be her big if she joined! She did join, but I think it might've helped her self-esteem if I had said, "You know, I can't guarantee anything, but I love you to pieces and I would be so excited if you and I were sorority sisters"

ATOtnBetaTau · #8 08-24-2003, 09:03 AM

Well, the freshmen moved in yesterday so I got to see my brother. I'm assuming it's a good sign that he actually wore one of my ATO shirts I left at home. Haha. It's funny because my school is really strict about letters during orientation. Anyway, I'm an orientation leader so I'll probably be away for a few days. I'll be sure to let you know what he does after our formal rush is over.

Jason

DZHBrown · #9 08-24-2003, 03:41 PM

Yay for wearing an ATO shirt!

I hope that he decides to go through rush and become an ATO! I've always loved those guys

queequek · #10 08-24-2003, 04:50 PM

Keep us updated!

Buttonz · #11 08-24-2003, 06:27 PM

Keep us updated on what your borther dose...don't pressure him, but as someone else has said, let him know how much you would love to have him as your frat brother

ATOtnBetaTau · #12 08-29-2003, 06:59 PM

Well, I have good news. My brother has been spending a lot of time with the other guys, and he has verbally said that he wants to join ATO. Woohoo! Hopefully, nothing will happen to change his mind. Our formal recruitment doesn't start until next Friday. Hopefully, he'll sign the bid card on the 19th. Thanks for the good advice and support. I'll let you know when everything is for sure.

Jason

MoxieGrrl · #13 08-29-2003, 08:06 PM

That's great! My fingers are crossed for you!

ATOtnBetaTau · #14 09-19-2003, 11:32 PM

Okay, Bid Day was today, and my brother pledged ATO! I am so excited about it all. 12 other great guys joined as well so he will be in great company after I graduate. Anyway, thanks for the advice. It's great to see my brother wearing letters.

Jason

Buttonz · #15 09-19-2003, 11:43 PM

Congrat's to your bro! And to ATO!