Give it back?

AchtungBaby80 · #1 08-08-2003, 03:56 PM

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of over 2 years (maybe it's something in the water...everyone seems to be breaking up now), and I feel pretty crappy. I have a lot of things that he gave me, like his soccer jacket and some shirts, that I'm wondering if I should give back. He hasn't asked, but I'm debating because having that stuff around makes me feel worse and yet it would be sort of expensive to mail all that stuff to him (he lives overseas). I'm hoping there's a chance we'll get back together in the distant future if he comes back, but in the meantime...

What do you all think?

sigmagrrl · #2 08-08-2003, 04:14 PM

I'd give it back....SOME men (not all) would think that your keeping things would mean you're not over things/him....Dignity before $$$/material goods, I always say!

Give the things back...you have memories that are worth more!

sherbertlemons · #3 08-08-2003, 04:38 PM

I'd say it's not a big deal with him if he hasn't asked for it back yet.

Will putting it in a box and hiding it in the back of the closet help with the making you feel even worse part?

If he does want it back, you could ask him to split the shipping costs.

LeslieAGD · #4 08-08-2003, 04:41 PM

Can you give it to one of his family members or friends to hold on to it for him?

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 08-08-2003, 05:31 PM

Keep it. If he wants it, he will contact you.

OR

Send it COD.

DeltaSigStan · #6 08-08-2003, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of over 2 years (maybe it's something in the water...everyone seems to be breaking up now), and I feel pretty crappy. I have a lot of things that he gave me, like his soccer jacket and some shirts, that I'm wondering if I should give back. He hasn't asked, but I'm debating because having that stuff around makes me feel worse and yet it would be sort of expensive to mail all that stuff to him (he lives overseas). I'm hoping there's a chance we'll get back together in the distant future if he comes back, but in the meantime...

What do you all think?

Give them to Shoonover

Senusret I · #7 08-08-2003, 05:59 PM

I think Leslie has the right idea.

mmcat · #8 08-08-2003, 11:48 PM

either stick it all in a box in the back of your closet...or send it to his mom or dad. that way it's out of your sight and maybe a bit more out of your mind.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #9 08-09-2003, 12:17 AM

Stick it in a box. He hasn't asked for it, you haven't let go of him; why go to the expense & the insult?

My boyfriend of almost a year and I broke up. Things were rough, but I think I'd be horribly upset if he went and dragged up every little thing I'd ever left at his place or given him and sent it back to me.

The stuff I needed, I asked for. The stuff I didn't -- or in some way wanted him to keep -- I didn't.

AchtungBaby80 · #10 08-09-2003, 12:56 AM

Thanks, guys.

sigmagrrl--hmmm...that didn't even occur to me. Good point.

sherbertlemons--that's what my sister said.

Leslie--he's with his family (they're Irish) back home, so sending it to them would be the same as sending it to him.

Cream--that's what my sister said, too.

Stan--what would Schoonie do with some random dude's t-shirts?

Senusret I--I wish I could, but...see above.

mmcat--yeah, same thing my sister said.

HotDamn--good point. I think I'll just go find a box because I just want to forget about it for a while.

DeltaSigStan · #11 08-09-2003, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
Stan--what would Schoonie do with some random dude's t-shirts?

Wear them...........I mean, he's a starving college kid, right?

Hootie · #12 08-09-2003, 02:09 AM

When Will broke off our engagement I found myself 15 hours away with a few things of his...and not necessarily his, but things like pictures, cards that somehow ended up in my pile....a cell phone...

I told him I'd mail the phone back and did...after a huge argument about the ring I did take (he broke it off afterall). He held my things for randsom (and never has mailed them to me)...so what did I do? I got a tiny package and emailed him all those beautiful pictures of us, the cards and phone back. It felt SO GOOD. I was like, okay you don't want me? Well here, you can stare at the pictures cuz I certainly don't want them.

Personally, I'd give back things that didn't belong to me. Being on BOTH sides I know how it feels to give it back (the closure) and not to get it back (putting it beind and moving on). Some of the things I didn't get back included teddy bears from when I was a toddler and pictures of me and my daddy that we don't have duplicates of. I just had to chalk it up to material items...I still have the pictures engrained into my memory so he can can keep em.

That's just my thought!

TriDeltaGal · #13 08-09-2003, 03:23 AM

What about calling him and asking him what he wants you to do with them? If he wants them back, then you could COD it. If he doesn't want them back, then I would go with HotDamnImAPhiMu plan and then when you feel okay with it, then I would throw them away and clear all those old memories from your life.

Geez, I'm really sorry about the break-up...we've all been through them and hope you feel better soon!

FiReKraCkEr · #14 08-09-2003, 03:26 AM

Give it back....honestly no use in keeping his stuff if ya'll are over.

I give back all my exes their "stuff"...it's like a lil breakup "ceremony" so to speak....like telling myself that it's really OVER and helping me heal.

Hope it all works out well

Tom Earp · #15 08-09-2003, 09:22 AM

Why would you want to keep any of his stuff. Just brings back memories that you want to forget.

Send it back via a friend or toss it!

20 years of marriage and threw out stuff. Still think of her because of the things we did, but do not want to get back with her!