After talking with a man I had a date with about makeout music (he didn't know who BARRY WHITE was), and reflecting upon past makeout music...I wanted to make sure no other ladies suffer what I have. Ladies and Gentlemen of GC, leave your suggestions and comments so that others can successfully smooch. I also like to share my personal horror stories and sick opinions.
*Anonymous younger GC guy...take notes, or I will never make out with you
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DONT'S
1) Dave Matthews Band - The Crash album came out in 1996. I realize that this reminds you of your college years but it isn't original anymore. A mix CD with one or two songs is okay but not all the DMB CDs you own in your disc changer is appropriate (Travis the Travesty). Was this a suggestion in Maxim or Playboy?
2) Alanis Morisette - Jagged Little Pill also came out in 1995 or so...let it GO. Do you really think an angry Canadian woman is the best choice in makeout music? I am more likely to slap you if your hands get to frisky after listening to her.
3) Savage Garden/Enya - I have already realized you aren't a sensitive guy, and it is okay. You don't have to pretend. Please, just turn it off already, the music clashes with your camo outfit and Ranger School beret.
4) George Carlin - Yes his stand up stuff is hilarious, but hearing about the 7 words I cant' say on tv and radio is not going to draw my lips towards yours (Travis the Travesty part 2). Bill Cosby is better but I can't laugh and kiss at the same time can I?
5) The Television - Yes Casablanca can inspire a lip lock, however Pee Wee's Big Adventure does not. Mute and pause are your friends on the remote.
6) Some Rap Music - If you're singing along calling women biznitches and hizzos it can be a definite turn off. Many women are offended by Too Short so keep that in mind. You don't need to sing 2 Live Crew's "Me So Horny" it is pretty obvious.
DOS
1) Al Green/Marvin Gaye/Smokey and so on - These men have soul, they have class, if you don't know who they are ask your parents.
2) Nina Simone - dayam, just...dayam.
3) Duets by Ella and Louis - bonus points if you get up and ask us to dance.
4) Some Pink Floyd/Led Zeppelin/The Cure - I can't explain it...
5) Madonna - she knows what she is talking about.
6) Prince (and any other names he goes by) - the guy has talent
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