rushee in anchor necklace

Moxie · #1 06-10-2003, 03:19 PM

hey DG ladies. i have an important question! i'm only a PNM and will be going through recruitment in the fall. we have a DG chapter and i'm looking forward to seeing and talking to the girls. however, i have a beautiful white gold anchor necklace that i've worn almost everyday for over a year! my best friend is in the navy and when he got shipped out, his mom got me the necklace because she knew how much i would miss him and worry about him. she said that it was a symbol of his strengh and the strength of the navy and that everytime i looked at it i should be proud and happy, just like she was. another girl (she's a DG at a different school) saw it and asked me about it, and i told her the story, and she also told me that it was a symbol of hope. that made me happy, too, because now whenever i see a DG with an anchor shirt around school, i think of him and know he'll be ok. anyway, i didn't mean to drag that out...but, the necklace is important to me. i don't want to freak any DG sisters out, though, by sporting what is their symbol! i guess it might also look weird to the other groups, if i'm wearing another sorority's symbol. it's got a lot of special meaning to me and i cherish it, but i'm torn. should i not wear it for recruitment?

CutiePie2000 · #2 06-10-2003, 03:44 PM

Hmmmmmmmmm.....are you asking whether DGs will take it as presumptuous that you are wearing an anchor necklace? I don't really think so, I would think they would take it as interest!!! I am reminded of a PNM who wore a pink and blue outfit (our colours) to a Invitational party....yup, she was showing us that she wanted us and she is a DG today.

As for other sororities...well, women will be touched the story behind it but other women (who you may not have time to explain the story to) might take it as though you have already decided that you really want DG and are not open-minded to other groups. If you feel in your heart that another Panhellenic group is more for you, wearing the anchor might hurt your chances with them. Best to err on the side of caution.

I would probably say "wear it to DG and take it off for the other parties". I just want you to find the right home, whether it is Delta Gamma or one of her Panhellenic sister orgs!!

DeltaBetaBaby · #3 06-10-2003, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CutiePie2000
I would probably say "wear it to DG and take it off for the other parties". I just want you to find the right home, whether it is Delta Gamma or one of her Panhellenic sister orgs!!

With all due respect, I disagree on this one. Wear it or don't wear it, but don't take it on and off. Who will see? Your Rho Chis, other PNM's, Panhellenic Officers...These people do talk, and active members of other chapters will think it is much weirder if you are wearing something special at one chapter's party than if you just happen to wear a symbol without knowing what it is or sharing the significance that it has for the DG's.

Lil' Hannah · #4 06-10-2003, 04:45 PM

Maybe instead of wearing it you could incorporate it in conversation when you're at DG. Let them know that the anchor is special to you as well, and let them know your reasons. I remember we had a PNM who had a boyfriend in the coast guard and she mentioned she had an anchor necklace (but wasn't wearing it). We all liked her in the first place and when we found out the anchor was special to her too, it just made us that much more excited.

p.s. - She's now a sister

meridionaleDG · #5 06-10-2003, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lil' Hannah
Maybe instead of wearing it you could incorporate it in conversation when you're at DG. Let them know that the anchor is special to you as well, and let them know your reasons. I remember we had a PNM who had a boyfriend in the coast guard and she mentioned she had an anchor necklace (but wasn't wearing it). We all liked her in the first place and when we found out the anchor was special to her too, it just made us that much more excited.

p.s. - She's now a sister

I don't really know what kinds of outfits your recruitment calls for, but maybe hiding the necklace under a garment would be the best thing.

You don't want something that is so special to you and really has nothing to do with sororities to mess us where you belong. The meaning would be a nice conversation starter, but I know sometimes chapters can be picky (because they have to number down girls), and you might not be able to tell what it means - and then they just assume you are gung ho about DG.

If I were you, just kiss it for good luck or something before you go to parties, or try to hide it on you somewhere. It would probably be better if it wasn't visible. You also don't want to feel uncomfortable either worrying about what people think about the necklace.

As for just wearing it when you visit DG - DON'T do that. If you only wanted to be a DG, I would say go for it - but considering how it has other meanings, you don't want to give them the wrong impression. I know I'd feel a little dumb if I got excited about seeing a girl wear an anchor necklace, and then find out that it isn't because of the reason I thought it was. It would, however, be a nice conversation starter to bring up by saying, "Oh yes, I was given an anchor because of this and I learned that it is a symbol of hope..." That would be something fun to talk about with the DG's.

Anyways, sorry I go on and on, just keep it out of sight at parties - having a clean slate that won't make ANY sorority think oh well they want to be there or here would be the best possible thing for you to do.

sherbertlemons · #6 06-10-2003, 09:09 PM

I agree with DeltaBetaBaby. Wearing the necklace just at DG could make you come off as a hypocrite to the other people that will see you switching, and you really don't know who will hear about it.

How big is it? Do you feel that it is really noticable? If it's fairly unobtrusive, I'd take the chance of hiding it in your clothing. If not, I'd strongly consider taking it off and leaving it off.

sugar and spice · #7 06-11-2003, 03:13 AM

To all the DGs -- sorry to invade your forum, but it's so much more active than the Tri Delt one!

My advice would be to not wear it, if you're comfortable with that option. (If you really don't feel comfortable without it, of course you should wear it!) If you flip through the threads in the rush forum on what not to do during rush, you'll hear stories about girls who showed up on the first day wearing pink from head to toe because they were SO SURE they wanted to go Phi Mu, and all of the sororities cut her for that -- most cut her because they figured, why bother rushing somebody who doesn't want to be here? and Phi Mu cut her because they thought it was presumptuous of her to only consider their sorority when she hadn't even MET any of the girls yet. Now obviously this isn't the case with you, but there's a possibility that some of the girls will notice your necklace, see that it's an anchor, and assume you're sending out the message that DG is your favorite. It's just best to minimize your chances of getting cut if at all possible, and at places where rush is cutthroat, and some girls get cut for the smallest reasons, it's just better not to take the chance. There's nothing worse than hearing a story about a rushee who unwittingly decorated her rush nametag with kite stickers, just to have all the other sororities cut her 'cause they assumed she was going Theta.

justamom · #8 06-11-2003, 07:56 AM

Heard about your quandry and thought I'd give it a shot.

I agree with everyone telling you NOT to wear/show the necklace. Honey, LSU rush is so weird at times, you never know who you will be talking to. While some would be so excited to see it and think "Hey, she's really interested in DG.", others may think, "Who does she think SHE is?" Yes, other sororities might just blow you off thinking your mind is set. They have so many young women rushing, don't give anyone a reason to form a negative opinion that is baseless.

The story is beautiful. There may be a very special moment when you can share it with a DG. In honesty you can confess you decided not to wear it because you didn't want to offend anyone. If you have clothes that will cover it then go ahead and wear it.

WhiteDaisy128 · #9 06-11-2003, 09:47 AM

I have to agree with most everyone...although it's a beautiful story of hope and dedication, some sororities (including DG) might just assume you are only looking at DG during recruitment. I think if you wore it and explained it at each party it wouldn't be SUCH a bad thing, but the other girls, even that you don't get to talk to, will be looking at you and that might be something that catches their eye (and they won't know the story).

But in any case, enjoy rush! And my prayers for a safe return for your friend will join the prayers for all of my friends overseas (I have 6 of them!) and all the military men and women in general.

Good luck with Rush!

Moxie · #10 06-11-2003, 01:13 PM

thanks y'all. i guess i probably won't wear it, i realized that pretty much from the beginning...but i had to ask, you girls know how attached to our trinkets we can get! however, if i get the chance, i'll be sure to tell the delta gamma girls how seeing their anchor symbols about campus always brought a smile to my face, even if it wasn't for the same reasons they love their anchor. thankyouverymuch ladies!

sugar and spice · #11 06-11-2003, 04:54 PM

Definitely let those DG girls know how much you like their anchor symbol -- I'm sure they will like the story just as much as we did.

FuzzieAlum · #12 06-11-2003, 05:26 PM

I agree with everyone but dang, I feel sorry for the poor girls who accidentally wear pink, or like to fly kites, or wear anchors. It seems sort of presumptuous on the part of a sorority to assume that a rushee even knows your colors or symbols, let alone is trying to emulate them.

Moxie · #13 06-11-2003, 06:36 PM

haha, yeah i was thinking about that. i mean most girls have a favorite color before going through recruitment, and pink is very popular these days. i mean, maybe if you wear it later in the week, especially at pref, it could take on a different meaning. but i wouldn't assume anything unless somebody hinted at it through words or came straight out and said they were wearing the colors because they wanted to wear them forever as a member.