The coolest thing on campus

[jess_pom]

*** NOTE: The following is not a direct representation of the poster. It is merely humorous and not representive of all sororities.

A little guide to becoming the coolest
thing on campus...

The Sorority Girl
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation because your character is who you really are while your reputation is merely what others think of you."



First off, you have to join a Sorority.
Obviously.

Next, follow these easy steps and you'll be the coolest.



1. Purchase or make several Greek lettered shirts. They are all the rage, everyone wishes they had one.

2. Never let anyone call you a "slut," but at the same time, make sure you sleep with lots of boys. Obvi.

3. The first thing you should do every morning is walk home. It's not the "Walk of Shame" ladies, it's the "Stride of Pride!"

4. Don't forget, you're very similar to a camel... eating isn't a necessary daily activity. I'm just going to eat this celery.

5. You must have a strong hatred for freshman girls. It's okay, they all loooove you.

6. You have to pay outrageous dues for sorority membership. Don't worry, you'll get cool t-shirts.

7. Remember this line: "Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to have anything low carb? This beer will go straight to my ass."

8. Never drink beer in large quantities. However, you are encouraged to drink "jungle juice" until you can't feel feelings.

9. Glitter must be applied in half pound increments. God, glitter is so hot right now.

10. Scream your sorority's cheers as loud as you can. Spirit fingers girls! Spirit fingers!

11. Take a pop music song and change the words to reflect your sorority's coolness and dominance.

12. Get yourself a "24 hour key" to the local tanning place in town. Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like skin cancer.

13. If you must eat, your diet can only consist of: salad, fresh fruit, chocolate, cigarettes and bottled water.

14. Place your Greek letters somewhere on your AOL Instant Messenger buddy profile. Color coordination is preferred, but exceptions can totally be made with respect to holiday color schemes.

15. In preparation for rush: 1) Buy some cute new outfits. 2) Get your hair styled & highlighted. 3) Whiten your teeth.

16. No matter the number of fraternities on campus, your sorority is only cool enough to mix with a select few.

17. Class is not a place to learn. Rather, it's a place to make your Greek presence felt.

18. Don't worry about getting any STDs silly... you're on birth control. Public Enemy #1: Venereal Diseases

19. The biggest question in your life should be Tanning vs. Bronzer? But don't worry too much. You can just use both.

20. Your new mating call will go like this, "I'm soooooo drunk... God, I'm sooooo drunk."

21. If ever verbally or physcially confronted by a girl from another sorority, simply say, "Bitch, my boyfriend's fraternity could kick your boyfriend's fraternity's ass."

22. Master the art of Instant Messenger; it will become your livelihood.

23. If you're cell phone goes off in class just tell your Professor that you're in a sorority.

24. Go to the gym more than any varsity athlete. Side note: Totally wear you Greek letters and makeup whenever you work out

25. During rush, Don't bother to actually get to know the Rushees, a 5 minute conversation will do. Added points for cute shoes.



If you're not a Sorority Girl, you're just... you're just... UGLY! ... and FAT!

I'm so prettier than you... Bitch.