AM I Too Picky?

White_Chocolate · #1 01-27-2003, 04:36 PM

Am I the only person out there who demands a person with some kind of higher learning background, making if not the same income but more than myself, and showing the ability to stay afloat financially without depending on my parents?

Is this considered being shallow? A gold digger?

Because the last time I checked, guys were the same way dating only girls who blow away with the slightest bit of wind and really expensive dye jobs.

MoxieGrrl · #2 01-27-2003, 04:47 PM

No, I don't think it's picky at all. Besides, someone who is in a financially secure position similar to yours is likely to have had many of the same experiences as you have had like college, exams, stress over finding a job, etc..). What could an intelligent woman have in common with that guy who sits around, gets high all day, & mooches off his parents? Probably not a lot....

Dionysus · #3 01-27-2003, 05:01 PM

No you're not at all!!! I'm exactly the same way. I would not touch guys that I consider as inferior w/ a 10 foot pole.

Why settle for less?

lovelyivy84 · #4 01-27-2003, 05:02 PM

So bitter, so young.

Most women who ask if they're picky already know that they are. You say you want certain things, but there's also a whole long unwritten list. Before you say what you want, make sure that that list is really accurate and you're not just saying what sounds good. Like if you know you SHOULD want someone stable and dependable, but you LIKE pretty ass bad boys, then you see your problem right there.

Also, why are you not meeting these kinds of men? Are you putting yourself out there? Do you go to the right venues (for lack of a better word)? Ask your friends for recommendations, lol. (That's why I like having guy friends, there's no competition when they introduce me to a cool guy)

There are plenty of men who can meet your requirements, if those truly are your requirements. You just have to figure out where they're at and then put yourself there too, lol.

White_Chocolate · #5 01-27-2003, 05:23 PM

Most women who ask if they're picky already know that they are. You say you want certain things, but there's also a whole long unwritten list. Before you say what you want, make sure that that list is really accurate and you're not just saying what sounds good. Like if you know you SHOULD want someone stable and dependable, but you LIKE pretty ass bad boys, then you see your problem right there.[/B][/QUOTE

I was on the floor rolling. It's hilarious because I don't think I'm picky because I love the 'pretty ass bad boys'. However, that's as far as I will go. I like them from afar but I don't date them.
My guy friends hooking me up? That's funny because most of my guy friends are the pretty ass bad boys who mooch off their parents. They share likeness with their friends as well.
And I've tried the 'venues'. We go to baseball games to spy out the crowd. We go hang out at the law library. I don't really think there are venues in LOUISVILLE, KY.

lovelyivy84 · #6 01-27-2003, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by White_Chocolate

I was on the floor rolling. It's hilarious because I don't think I'm picky because I love the 'pretty ass bad boys'. However, that's as far as I will go. I like them from afar but I don't date them.
My guy friends hooking me up? That's funny because most of my guy friends are the pretty ass bad boys who mooch off their parents. They share likeness with their friends as well.
And I've tried the 'venues'. We go to baseball games to spy out the crowd. We go hang out at the law library. I don't really think there are venues in LOUISVILLE, KY. [/B]

Ouch. Tough location. I guess I just got lucky because I live in NYC and most of my guy friends are professionals with professional friends.

Baseball games and law libraries? Isn't there any happy medium? How about the museum? Or concerts? Or um.... I dunno what you have in Kentucky. (sidebar: isn't the grand ole opry or something down there?) NYC is like a big ol singles market so I am not used to it being that hard.

Well you can always try the internet, lol!

ETA:
baseball games? I thought men went there to shift their crotches and spit? law libraries ARE places to study, right? Neither is really the most social setting. I think you might seriously rethink those choices. Unless you were joking. THen, lol.

librasoul22 · #7 01-27-2003, 07:04 PM

I am not sure how much success one would hope to have by going to baseball games and law libraries? I am almost POSITIVE that Louisville has other outlets for being social and meeting people. Not to say that you should try to meet your soulmate at a club or bar but for people our age, these are the logical choices.

As for the question of whether or not you are picky? I guess you could call it that, but more likely it is a case of just having high standards. There is nothing wrong with that unless you think ending up with a loser is okay.

Personally I think I have the highest standards ever, lol. I have met VERY few guys who meet them and none who exceed them. Am I single? Yep. Am I worried? Nope. I know what I have to offer, and I would never ask anyone else to put more into the relationship than I could. I also know that my chances of finding true love in my transient college town are pretty slim, so I am not holding my breath, lol.

Kevlar281 · #8 01-27-2003, 07:39 PM

If he can afford to take you out and show you a good time then I don’t see how his net income should matter. Expensive dates don’t equal a good time and cheap dates don’t equal a bad time. It’s all about creativity and the company you keep.

Oh and yes you’re picky…

Munchkin03 · #9 01-27-2003, 08:52 PM

CTFU...One of my friends, who is a second year law student, says that they laugh at the underclasswomen who dress up to hang out at the law library. They know that they are not law students because the law students don't dress up to go to the library.

I guess it depends on the circumstances whether or not you're picky. If you want a man with an income higher than yours because you want a man who will provide well for you, that's different than wanting a well-off man just so you can eat at the best restaurants. But, maybe that's just me--I'll be a poor architect anyway. To each his own.

James · #10 01-27-2003, 11:13 PM

Depends on how well off his parents are Moxiegirl, give lost Rich Kids a chance, they pay off in the end.

Quote:

Originally posted by MoxieGrrl
No, I don't think it's picky at all. Besides, someone who is in a financially secure position similar to yours is likely to have had many of the same experiences as you have had like college, exams, stress over finding a job, etc..). What could an intelligent woman have in common with that guy who sits around, gets high all day, & mooches off his parents? Probably not a lot....

James · #11 01-27-2003, 11:45 PM

I have to agree with LovelyIvy, most people that ask whether they are too picky, are. End of Story.

And some people are extremely picky . . . or so they say. But we all know many people that have given us their laundry list of qualifications on what they want in someone else. There is a whole thread on here about it. Really way too long girls

And then we see them a month later with the person they were making fun of . . .

Almost every guy says he loves slender girls to exclusion . . . in reality they date a range.

Never believe people's press releases lol.

I ramble: Whitechocolate, if your only requirement is that they are independant of their parents financially, you are not picky at all.

Peaches-n-Cream · #12 01-28-2003, 02:11 AM

I think that you are selective, not too picky. If you demand certain qualities in a boyfriend, you need to live up to those standards yourself. If you put the best version of yourself out there, you will attract a great guy who lives up to those standards.

From what I have heard, volunteer work is a good way to meet someone. Good luck!

FiReKraCkEr · #13 01-28-2003, 03:32 AM

I got some advice from a friend before "If you find someone who isn't what you're looking for, but you STILL love them....then you know it's for real..."

However, I feel you can be as PICKY as you want. Every women deserves everything she wants, no ands or buts about it.....

I know I'm not gonna settle for anything less than that magical moment when I just know he's the one...

BTW, I really think I had that moment tonight as I was pulled over by an EXTREMELY HOT police officer. Thank GOD I got his number...

Ivory

Sistermadly · #14 01-28-2003, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
Am I the only person out there who demands a person with some kind of higher learning background, making if not the same income but more than myself, and showing the ability to stay afloat financially without depending on my parents?

No, you're not the only one. I used to think like this too when I was younger. Then I met a guy who didn't go to university, worked a white-collar but relatively low-paying job, and had little to offer me but life in an amazing city and all the love he could give... and I married him.

My priorities changed. I had to decide whether things were more important, or whether emotional security was more important. Once I finish grad school, I'll be the primary breadwinner in our family, and we're both secure and okay with that. I wasn't looking for a fairy tale, I was looking for something real, something that would last, and the possibility of builiding a life with someone who loved and respected me. I have that, and if it means being the one who "brings home the bacon", then so be it.

I know people say that "love doesn't pay the bills" -- and that's true -- but if you're chasing dollar signs instead of looking for a true heart, that won't make for a happy relationship either.

White_Chocolate · #15 01-28-2003, 10:39 AM

That's the thing. . .LOUISVILLE SUCKS. We have a really good basketball team this year so I go to what games aren't sold out in advance(i.e. LOUISVILLE vs IU-no ticket in sight under $40).

We have the Kentucky Derby but that's one day in May. People get drunk off their asses and have one night stands with strangers. Not my style.

As for law libraries and baseball games, that's an example of what we have for entertainment. Which why I went Greek because I didn't know a soul here. Hmmm, I may have to take my sorority sister up on her offer to come visit NYC for Spring Break instead of going to the beach. Hell, maybe I'll just move to NYC.

And I do live up to the standards. I have lived on my own in my own apartment since I was 19. My mother lives in Dallas and I'm in Kentucky so I consider myself totaly independent. I make over $27K a year in a field that I have NO experience in(it's nowhere near my major which is PR). I pay for my own schooling as well as any extracurricular activities(sorority dues, partying, etc). I dress like the guys I want to attract. Although these days, the only guys I see in Banana Republic are gay guys. Ouch.

So, after that, any suggestions?