Cosmo lies!?!?!

sunnygirl · #1 10-21-2002, 11:03 PM

I just finished leafing through my new Cosmo. While I have always taken most of their articles with a grain of salt, I couldn't believe what they wrote....women who sleep with a guy on the first date are not considered slutty (to the guys they sleep with), rather sexually liberated.

Not to come down on that behavior (who hasn't been there?), but really, if you are interested in possibly developing a relationship with the guy, to recommend that you sleep with him on the first date....what is Cosmo thinking? Even my biggest stud guy friends had to agree.... that is not girlfriend-material

Kevin · #2 10-21-2002, 11:05 PM

It's unfortunate that double standards exist... But I'd have to agree. Sexually liberated is another way of saying slutty as far as most of us are concerned.

carnation · #3 10-21-2002, 11:12 PM

Cosmo published the exact same thing 30 years ago. I remember thinking that the author was probably trying to justify her own behavior.

KillarneyRose · #4 10-21-2002, 11:19 PM

So is everyone saying that if a man takes a woman on a first date and they hit it off and have a great time and he decides he likes her and wants to see her again....and THEN they end up sleeping together at the end of the evening, he will have a change of heart and think, "slut alert!!!"???

That doesn't make sense to me. I think it reeks of locker-room mentality if he discounts a pleasant evening because he's thinking "If she did ME, she must do this with everyone." Not to mention that is quite possibly NOT the case.

Optimist Prime · #5 10-21-2002, 11:28 PM

I would definatley persue a relationship with a woman who slept with me on the first date, especially if I had known her for a while. men need strong women in order to be strong. I want to liberated so need a liberated woman.

Munchkin03 · #6 10-21-2002, 11:31 PM

I used to listen to what Cosmo had to say...when I was 12 and didn't know any better. Now I understand it for the light reading and dreck it is. Sometimes I read it on airplanes. That said, I feel like the last time I read it, they were saying that women who did do the deed on the first date were slutty.

Does anyone else think that the "sex tips" were always really really obvious and basic?

DeltaSigStan · #7 10-21-2002, 11:31 PM

The words of Andrew Dice Clay:

"So my girlfriend asked me one day: "Why is it that is a guy sleeps with 100 girls it's ok but if a girl sleeps with 100 guys she's a slut?" So I said: RIGHT!"

xo_kathy · #8 10-22-2002, 09:49 AM

I had a discussion about first date sex with some of my guy friends once. They said they always tried to sleep with a girl on the first date. If she slept with them, they wouldn't ask her out again. If she didn't, they would pursue dating her. I told them if a guy tried to get me to sleep with him on the first date, I wouldn't accept a second date. They then said, "That's why you are too good for any of us, Kath!" Well, at least they were clear on that!!!!!

Although, they were fraternity brothers of my boyfriend and he wasn't like that at all, so I am NOT saying all men are the same! Just, I think this story lends a little insight into the mind of some men...

AlphaSigLana · #9 10-22-2002, 10:16 AM

Cosmo always has the same articles regarding ways to sexually impress your man. I think I've read over 100 times to take my panties off in a restuaranj and hand them to my man.

My roommate bought Nov.'s issue. I remember the last time i read Cosmo they said one thing in one article and the exact opposite in another article in the SAME MAG. I read it to pass time not because it is great literary work.

MoxieGrrl · #10 10-22-2002, 11:42 AM

And how many stupid Kama Sutra issues are there going to be? I mean, come on.....who exactly are the people that think those positions are exotic? Not I.....

xok85xo · #11 10-22-2002, 12:40 PM

you know, my best friend (guy) and ihad this conversation once..he said that if a girl were to sleep w/him on the first date he would consider asking her out because its more like the heat of the moment/passion thing and not slutty..whereas if she were to sleep with him on the SECOND date he would consider her a slut

James · #12 10-22-2002, 12:45 PM

That is a turn on . . sorry.

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaSigLana
Cosmo always has the same articles regarding ways to sexually impress your man. I think I've read over 100 times to take my panties off in a restuaranj and hand them to my man.
My roommate bought Nov.'s issue. I remember the last time i read Cosmo they said one thing in one article and the exact opposite in another article in the SAME MAG. I read it to pass time not because it is great literary work.

James · #13 10-22-2002, 12:51 PM

Stop believing people's press releases.

People don't often tell the truth when you are asking them questions. Most of the time they don't know what thee truth is.

It all depends on how much the guys is into you.

If he is really into you he'll call you back and keep asking you out whether you sleep with him on the first date or not. In fact if he's pretty into you and you sleep with him on the first date he will be half-way in love with you.

Ok lets say things go wrong and you sleep with him on the first date and then nothing happens . . . you are going to sit back and say it was a mistake and that was the reason why he didn't call.

He might even say to his friends, I banged her on the first date not GF material.

Neither is probably true. He's just not that into you. That is what makes you not GF material.

When hormones talk brain power goes out the window.

So Kilarney is right. If he really likes you he is not going to stop calling because you have sex with you, he will probably call you more.

People just have trouble dealing with the fact that most relationships don't work out and that most of the ones that do, shouldn't.

So they come up with elaborate reasons why. *shrug*

SSS1365 · #14 10-22-2002, 01:55 PM

First let me say that I personally have never slept with anyone on a first date.

I know plenty of women who have, though, and then they complain that they can't find a guy who wants to seriously date them. I think the answer is pretty simple. The guys are seeing them as easy and they don't see them as girlfriend-material... rather just someone to have a good time with for a while.

Now I'm sure this isn't always the case. For example, like someone already pointed out, if it's someone you've known for a while then maybe it's not so bad. But when a woman goes out and meets a guy for the first time and winds up in bed with him that night, what reason does he have to respect her? Just my two cents

amycat412 · #15 10-22-2002, 01:56 PM

I agree with James.

If he's into you, he's into you and sleeping with him will not make much of a difference.

And really, my friends and I have always wondered, how is it right if we're not being ourselves--I mean, if we're feeling it and the moment is right and we decide NOT to sleep w someone because its the 'RIGHT" thing to do-- well, we're being dishonest too...

I always said the riight guy for me would not be one that wanted to wait to have sex, or thought i was a slut for having sex w him in the first few dates, for me -- the passion is there right away or not at all, its just a fact.

So when I met mr. amycat, I was all hung up on making a good impression and not jumping right into bed with him that I almost blew it. Fortunately, I realized that, called him up, went over there and blew his mind, lol. We joke about it now, but at the time, I realized I was just not even being myself by trying to wait until X amount of dates/time had gone by. That's not who I am and that's not who he is, and by trying to play the role of the good girl, well, I was playing a game and that's never good. And when I stopped trying to play the good girl and just relaxed and was myself, we discovered we were very compatible in many ways in and out of bed, whereas before, besides all the sexual tension keeping us from really connecting, he wasn't getting to know the REAL me, and its the REAL ME he fell in love with, not the "good girl" i was falsely trying to be on our first three dates...and so, I must STRESS...

JUST BE YOURSELF, whomever that is, and one day, you'll meet someone that you absolutely click with. Sounds simple, but its true. Games are not cool.